Jayna at 15 Months

Last Saturday, Jayna turned 15 months old.  And as Chris says, she's now 1.25.  I won't bore you with my "Oh, where has the time gone?" speech again.  Still.

She is officially a toddler.  I still refer to her as a baby because I can.  I am entitled.  She's only 15 months old, you know.

She had her 15 month well-baby checkup yesterday and all is well and good.  She still hates doctors.  And I do mean hate.  She clung to me like glue and cried and cried and cried.  And then she cried some more.  It has come to my attention that I never blogged about her one year well-baby checkup, so for posterity I'll put that in a nutshell (haha) first and then do the 15 month stuff.

So, at Jayna's one year doc visit, I was told that she was fat.  Literally.  I was told to cut back her milk consumption and to not give her candy and cake.  Because she has cake twice a day, you know.  She weighed 26 lbs. 4 oz. at one year old.  She was 29 inches long.  She was in the 98th or so percentile for her weight and the 50th percentile for her height.  Her weight to height ratio was in the 97th percentile, thus making her "obese."  Please.  She's a baby.  She's chunky.  Seriously.

So after wallowing in self-pity for a day and then talking to my good friend Laura (who has a miniature baby) and my mom (who had normal sized babies), I was okay with Jayna being "obese."  I continued to NOT feed her candy and cake twice a day and cut her milk consumption to around 12 oz. a day instead of 20.  She was getting extra calcium from yogurt and cheese anyway.  So there.

Yesterday she weighed 26 lbs. 15 oz. and is 30.5 inches long.  I think she's a little longer than that (probably more like 31 inches) but we can't be sure because of her thrashing around on the height measurer thingy. 

So, in essence, she's had a decent growth spurt in her height and only gained 11 oz. in 3 months.  Who's obese now, bitches? 

Sorry.  That was me talking.  Not Jayna.  She doesn't know that word.  Yet.  Stick with me, kid, and you'll learn lots of words.

Jayna is doing wonderfully.  She's discovered running and has thus discovered falling down ALOT.  She throws tantrums and gives the sweetest kisses.  She uses her charm to her advantage.  She's learning at the speed of freakin' light.  She still adores Sesame Street.  She loves her doggies more than ever.  And she is so cuddly right now that I melt atleast once a day.  And that kid loves me.  I mean, she absolutely loves me.  She asks for me and looks for me when I'm gone and is happy to see me when I return.  We're on the same page again and I can't get enough of it.

She is talking more and more...but in an unknown language.  She seems to be putting together sentences in that language.  It's pretty funny.  Yesterday she said, "Mama, more cookie."  What??  HOLY SHIT!!  My little girl just said a sentence!!  Awesome.  Oh...and to her a cookie is an animal cracker.  And she isn't obese anymore so she can have them. :)

She dances like a pro and sings just as well.  She loves music and asks me to sing for her atleast 3 times a day.  She loves the alphabet song and the itsy bitsy spider.  She even says good night to her songs (her CD player with a kid's CD in it) at night.

Enough yapping.  Here's what y'all really care about:

Cuddling with bunny and blankie in the car.

Enough pictures mom!

A girl and her dog Moe.

Big girl eating off of a plate and NOT dumping it on the floor. (We have yet for this to happen again.)

Daddy's home!!!  YAY!

A girl sitting on her dog Ollie.  And he loves it!

I'm not sure how we ended up with such a cute and wonderful kid.  This means we'll "pay for our raising" when she's a teenager.  Oh dear.  We'll enjoy her good behavior and adorableness while it lasts. :)

Losing Sleep

I'm not sure where this entry is going or what I'm trying to say, but here is the list of things I think about while I *should* be restfully sleeping:

• Our homeowner's insurance recently came up for renewal.  My agent contacted me and told me that she was going to get it requoted and that I may be able to save money if I bundled homeowner's and auto.  We tried doing this 5 years ago when we bought our house, but it wouldn't have saved us any money.  In November of 2006, Chris was in an accident...with a HUGE concrete flower pot.  He swerved to miss someone who was crossing traffic without paying attention and instead of totaling his car AND the other guy's car, he hit a huge ass concrete flower pot.  The other driver admitted fault and it is IN the police report.  We had to fight with Progressive to get it ruled as a no fault for Chris.  They changed the ruling and then out of principle (I'm known to do things like this out of principle) we switched insurance companies.  So, back to the present day...I got the new quotes on our homeowner's and auto bundled policy and the ruling has been switched back to fault for Chris.  What.  The.  F$%!*&^K?????   I'm still saving money with the bundled policy, but it's the principle of the matter.  I'm still deciding if I want to fight with Progressive over it.  Will it be worth the hassle??
• Jayna has been the perfect mix of cute/cuddly/lovable/happy and sneaky/frustrated/insane/whiny.  Yesterday she wouldn't leave my side.  She wanted me to hold her on the couch and rub her hair so she could watch Elmo.  And today she showered me in oatmeal and screamed at me because I was trying to feed her breakfast.  The joys of toddlers.
• I have a difficult time making decisions, but when I make one it's DONE.  Chris and I have been throwing around the idea of moving.  Our house is shrinking and it's very frustrating.  So, with the help of the new homebuyer's tax credit and some finagling with our mortgage, we ARE moving.  I've decided.  This will be news to my husband when he reads this.  That should be interesting.  We are probably going to have to take a small loss on our house, but that could be made up for if we get a steal on a new place.  We'll just have to see.
• I'm pretty sure I need to see a therapist.  I mean I *could* just go to the doctor and get a prescription for anti-depressants, but I'd rather try other means first.  I don't feel depressed, but I'm having a difficult time dealing with things.  There is no middle ground or rationale in my head these days.  Everything is the end of the world and I take things more personally now than I ever have in the past.  I think talking through some things would be beneficial.  I am writing about this here to try and remove some of the stigma.  I don't want to feel ashamed or admonished because of it and I hope it helps.  We'll see.

Bumper Sticker of the Week: Catch-Up

So I didn't see like ANY bumper stickers for three weeks or something.  I know.  Crazy.  Here are some reader submissions:

My mom saw this bumper sticker - "Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat."  Who doesn't love a good Rosie O'Donnell fat joke?  I hate that woman and I would even if she was slim and pretty.  She's just...a waste of space.

My friend Holly saw this classic - "If you're going to ride my ass atleast pull my hair!"  I've always been a big fan of this one because I HATE tailgating.  I rarely do it and I really want to SLAM on my brakes when someone does it to me.

And yesterday on my way home, I saw this little gem:  "CAUTION:  I DRIVE LIKE YOU!"  Hahahahaha!!  As Dave Barry says, "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep inside, we ALL believe we are above average drivers."  I think I'd actually put this sticker on my car.

What have y'all been seein?

Hope for the best.

Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.  I try to live by that phrase.  I think it is the perfect pessimistic/optimistic mixture of a motto.  Maybe we'll call that realistic for now.  But in reality, it isn't realistic.  That was a funny sentence...

Last Friday Jayna woke up in a good mood.  She was happy and smiley and cuddly.  And then it was time to leave.  And then she threw a fit.  So I took her to the babysitter, said my goodbyes and began to prepare myself for what the evening would bring...quite possibly a Friday night from hell.

Prepare for the worst.  Develop a worst case scenario and determine how I will deal with said scenario if it happens.  Worst case scenario:  She doesn't nap all day and is just plain grouchy.  CHECK!!  Her teeth hurt.  CHECK!!  Her nose is running off of her face.  CHECK!!  She has No. Idea. What.  She wants.  DOUBLE CHECK!!

How will I deal with this?  With compassion.  CHECK!!  With lots of kisses and cuddles and cheerios and crackers and juice.  CHECK!!  With Elmo.  CHECK!!  With Blue's Clues.  CHECK!!  With playtime and no chores.  CHECK!!  With one-on-one attention.  CHECK!!  With patience.  Errr...(crickets chirping).

I had patience.  I did.  I had patience right up until she started slapping me in the face and trying to bite me directly followed by lying her sweet little head on my shoulder and hugging me.  I had patience until she kicked the dog.  I had patience until she wanted me to hold her and put her down AT THE SAME TIME.  And I had patience until I took a juice cup to the head.  A juice cup to the head immediately followed by the most adorable snotty kisses I've EVER received.  I had it together until this plethora of insanity happened within a matter of minutes.  The minutes that just happened to be the ones immediately preceding daddy's arrival.

Oh, glorious daddy!!  Daddy who doesn't get a juice cup to the head or slaps to the face but, alas, still receives those wonderfully sweet hugs and adorable snotty kisses.  Daddy who can make it all better by simply being daddy...by simply walking through the damn door.  I wonder what his plan was.  I can tell you.  He didn't have one.  He prefers the "fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants" approach.

I then passed the torch to daddy.  I kept my distance for the remainder of the evening, all the while wondering what I did wrong and what I exactly did to deserve a juice cup to the head.  I wondered why my cuddles weren't good enough.  Why my shoulder wasn't comfortable enough.  Why my tickles were upsetting while daddy's were funny.  And why my cheerios were thrown at the dog while daddy's were eagerly eaten up.  Why I ever thought I could be a mom.  Why I can't do anything right.  Why she hates me.  Why.  Why.  Why.

And while daddy and Jayna played and played and ate dinner and played some more, I did dishes and cleaned while quite possibly shedding the most tears I've shed since Jayna was around 2 months old.  I just couldn't fathom why I wasn't good enough.  Why she didn't like me.

It's days like last Friday that force me to include the last part of the motto...hope for the best.  When all I have is hope that things will get better.  Hope that tomorrow, or the next day, my cuddles will be warm and fuzzy and my cheerios will be yummy.  You see, as a mom, you MUST hope for the best.  Because it is simply impossible to prepare for the worst.  You don't know the worst until it's throwing juice cups at your head and causing you to doubt your very existence. 

The following few days got better.  My cuddles became fuzzy again.  My tickles were the funniest and the juice cup was very politely handed to me with the sweetest "mama" that I've ever been called.  We were back on the same page.  But it was the simple hope that things would get better that made my tickles funny.  That made that "mama" so very sweet in my ears.  And it truly is the best when she's happy.

Through this experience, my motto was condensed.  Hope for the best.  Plain and simple.  Don't even think about the worst because it's going to happen whether you prepare for it or not...and you STILL won't be prepared.  Hope for the best.  A mom's words to live by.

Every picture tells a story...

The past few weeks have been busy.  And I'm going to prove it riiiighhhhttt.....NOW:

A random day that I took Jayna to work.  Don't you just love her outfit??

Reading Noisy Farm.  She loves the reading.

Dancing to Elmo's World song.  While playing with my slipper.

Jayna and Nana at ZooBoo.

Moe after his surgery....a little out of it.

Moe and his fashionable shirt.  This kept him from licking and scratching his stitches.

Jayna and daddy chillin.

Jayna and Great Grandma M.

Jayna and Nana M on Halloween.

Jayna and Great Grandma S.

Playing in the leaves.

Some random fall swinging.  I LOVE that new smile!!

And that's why the blog has suffered...

This is the (teething and bills) song that never ends...

I know...OVER a WEEK since my last entry!!  I don't really know what to say except that I've been lazy busy.  And I've been complacent.  Yep.  I don't really care.  So I know you are all DYING to hear what I've been so busy with.  Well, here goes.

• I think Jayna is a conehead...but without the cone.  She is seriously going to have all of her teeth by 18 months.  And I have reason to believe that she has double...nay, TRIPLE the amount of teeth that a baby should have (atleast it sure does seem like it, what with all the whining and drooling and snot and crying and fussing and clingy and pointing to her mouth and screaming, etc.).  Will it EVER end??  Not if she is a conehead.  Who remembers what a conehead's teeth look like??  Well, I will delightfully refresh your memories:

• Three weeks ago, I hurt my ankle.  The one that I had surgery on 14 years ago.  The one that still has pins in it from the aforementioned surgery.  One may say that I hurt it playing softball, but I'm not so sure of that.  I didn't twist it or anything; it just sort of started hurting.  Last Friday I finally went to the doctor because of swelling and achiness.  I had fluid taken and xrays done.  We'll know today what I actually did to it.  The doctor mumbled some things about infection and/or the pins moving out of place or that I may just have arthritis because of the pins.  Oh dear.
• I seem to be having a cash flow problem.  It seems that everytime I get an unexpected/large bill paid off that a new one arises.  I finally paid off my labor and delivery and now I'm paying for Jayna's ears.  I paid my million dollar stupid ass traffic ticket and then I had to pay for Moe's surgery.  I paid the car insurance in a lump sum only to receive our license plate renewal forms that I had totally forgotten about.  And just like the teething, this will NEVER end.  It's seriously just one expensive and/or unexpected thing after another.
• Last weekend we took Jayna to see both of her great grandmas.  One of them lives in a nursing home.  And now I'm terrified that Jayna will get sick.  Fun times.
• I've begun planning out Christmas gifts and holiday activities.  Snuggies for everyone including the dogs!!  Ha.  I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year.  I think Jayna will LOVE it!!

What have y'all been doin?

Me: The Abridged Version, E

So, "E" words are hard, y'all.  I wanted to use words that were actually meaningful in my life.  As it turns out, there are MANY meaningful "E's" in my life.  I just had to search for them (and take suggestions from you!).

Education
I am a big fan of education.  I love to learn new things and expand on what I already know.  I loved school (except for maybe high school, but that's an entirely different issue) and I loved college even more.  I love to do extensive amounts of research on things that I'll never need to know just for the sake of learning (i.e. methamphetamine addiction, kosher food and scientology).  I am very proud of the knowledge I've gained through all sorts of education including organized and less-than-organized...and I'm happy to share it with anyone willing to listen. :)

Eavesdrop
I am guilty.  I do it.  At restaurants, shopping malls and waiting rooms.  It is especially fun now that people think that no one is listening when they have a cell phone conversation in the middle of the grocery store.  I just can't help myself.  And most people do NOTHING to make their conversations private, what with the loud talking and crazy gestures.  I love to hear one part of a converstation and then make up a story of why the person was having that conversation.  The comedian Lewis Black has a bit about eavesdropping that includes him listening to a woman at an IHOP.  She says, "If it weren't for my horse, I'd never have made it through that last year of college."  Everytime I eavesdrop, I think of that.  Funny.

Eastside
Even though I lived pretty far away, I grew up on the Eastside.  I was on the edge of my school district and lived about 20 minutes away from my high school, but I still hung out in the general area of where I went to high school.  Washington Square Mall...back when Montgomery Ward was there...Target next to Show Biz and Flakey Jake's were a few of the places I frequented as a kid and eventually as a teenager.  Socially, I had a rough time in high school.  I had lots of friends and was involved in lots of stuff, but I still had a tough time.  High school is hard and teenagers are mean...and this has affected the way I feel about the Eastside.  I don't like it.  I don't like going there.  I don't even really like talking about it.  Yuck.

Edit
I can't write anything without atleast a quick edit.  I don't like to make mistakes and I am sort of a perfectionist in this area.  Why didn't I list this under perfectionist?  Well, because I'm not a perfectionist with everything.  I had some strict English/Language Arts teachers growing up and I just don't like to make grammar and spelling mistakes.  I edit everything I write, even the grocery list.  And I still can't bring myself to condense words to send a text.  This often results in me sending two texts, but I just can't do it!!  I feel like I MUST type out every word.  I know.  Weird.

Elmo
I used to despise Elmo.  He was annoying and his face was on everything from backpacks to bandaids.  I couldn't go anywhere without seeing his big red face.  I also couldn't stand the way he always talked in third person..."Elmo is so happy to see you!!"  But now I have a child.  Who ironically LOVES Elmo.  And he's growing on me.  He's actually pretty funny.  I watch him everyday and I even find myself reading in his little voice when I read Jayna's Elmo books.  I want to buy the new Elmo Live toy for ME, not for her.  He is great entertainment for my little one, so I suppose I just have to like him!