Every Picture Tells a Story

I like to take pictures.  And then never upload them to the blog.  It sort of fits with my lazy procrastinator sitch.  That would explain why I'm about 6 months behind on my Six Pix posts.  Umhmm.

So...anyhoozy.  Here are some phone pics. 

Only in America, people!! A product called Forever Lazy. It even has a zippered flap on the butt and a two-way zipper on the front so you can do ALL of your business without taking it off. Matching slipper socks included.

  So I was in Best Buy yesterday and THIS was on the shelf next to some curling irons that will apparently make you look like Bella or that other nameless, faceless chick from Twilight. Really, people?? We're now marketing flat irons to dudes with the word "Sparkle" on the box? I also love how it's a "detailer" and not a flat iron. The person who came up with this marketing strategy needs to be fired. Immediately.

We get to watch all of Jayna's dance classes through a big window.  There are pros and cons to this.  The pro is that it is the funniest thing EVER to watch little girls do dancing.  The con?  Well, I get to see all the weird things Jayna does in a crowd of little girls.  These things include but are not limited to picking nose, pulling skirt up to under armpits, pulling skirt all the way off, wearing skirt like toga, picking 87,421.5 wedgies out, playing with hair barrette.  And the best thing is that ALL THE OTHER PARENTS CAN SEE HER TOO.  (I'll leave out all the disgusting/hilarious/weird things that all the other little girls do that I can see also.)  On this particular day, she had yanked her skirt up to her armpits and the dad sitting next to me completely lost it.  I thought he was going to fall out of his chair.  So I stood up, did the 2 fingers to my eyes to her (the "I'm watching you" sign) and then motioned THRU the glass this EXACT sentence, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, LEAVE THE DAMN SKIRT ALOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!"  It obviously embarrassed her.  So she gave me the sassy/sad combo to make me feel bad.  It didn't work...mostly because that made the dad next to me laugh even harder.

This was the first day of jazz class.  She pays more attention in this class than she did in ALL her other classes combined.  Here she is learning to gallop to the side.  Whatever that's called in jazz, I haven't the slightest idea.

She found these goggles in my brother's basement the day we went to my nephew's birthday party.  Jayna is very good about sharing.  NOT THESE GOGGLES.  I don't know why, but she attached herself to the goggles and wouldn't let anyone else have them.  Her Aunt Summer even let her take them home.  She still wears them from time to time when she "fixes her toys."

This is our Christmas tree.  We had to buy a new one this year because most of the lights on our old one shorted out this year.  I was nervous that the tree would catch on fire and then all Jayna would ever remember about Christmas would be "that year our Christmas tree and all the decorations and presents went up in flames."  I can't take that chance, so new tree it was. 

Jayna and I made these reindeer pops.  I saw the picture on Pinterest and this was my thought process:  "All we'd have to do is melt some chocolate and dip the marshmallow on a stick in there and then poke the pretzel antlers in and put on the nose and eyes and VOILA!!  Reindeer.  Quick for Jayna's attention span and easy for my sanity."  Um...no.  Do you know what happens if you dunk a room temperature marshmallow in piping hot chocolate sauce??  THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS.  And do you know what happens if you try to poke pretzels into a marshmallow?  IT JUST FALLS RIGHT OUT OF THERE.  And then if you try and put the eyes and the nose on there too quickly before the chocolate is hardened a bit?  THEY SLIDE RIGHT OFF.  He's so special though. :)

For those of you who know me, it takes more than a little marshmallow melting/antler falling off/eyes and nose sliding off to discourage me and to make me scrap a craft project.  So I perservered and made some changes to my methods and got them looking like this one by the third one.  I think they're adorable.  And tasty as all get out!! (I'm channeling my mom there.)

Here she is practicing one of the many ballet type moves that I don't know the name of.  You'd think after umpteen years of French in high school and then 4 years of Latin in college that I'd be able to pronounce and remember a few foreign words.  Well...you thought wrong.  The truth is that the moment Jayna told me she hated ballet, I quit listening to what the moves were called.  I had NO IDEA they'd come back to haunt me in jazz class.  That'll learn me.

She just tries so hard to pay attention and do what the teacher is doing.  But do you see those 3 kids back there in the corner?  They're crazy and distracting and Jayna always somehow gets stuck in between them or around them or something.  If my kid were acting like a lunatic and never listened to a teached, I'd yank her outta there so fast and give her a good talking to.  But no.  That takes effort on the part of these teenybopper parents.

We went to BDubs with my dad last weekend and Jayna decided to play marker cap fingers.  Then she randomly looked at me and said, "Mommy, take my picture.  It will be funny because of my marker fingers."  And so I did.  And it was good. :)

What have y'all been up to?  I love how each of these photos brought a story.  It makes me smile to share my ridiculously mundane life with you people.  I'll try and give you photos with weird stories more often.  Shouldn't be too hard...I love a weird story. :)

Five For Friday: Random Holiday Things

Hi everybody!!! 

I'm...a lazy procrastinator.

Everytime I say "Hi everybody!", I feel like I just HAVE to follow up with "I'm Dr. Nick."

Hey...I live my life for song lyrics and movie/television quotes.  I don't judge you, so watch it.

Anyhoo, today I went with "lazy procrastinator."  For obvious reasons.  I can't seem to get it together and take pictures and blog and upload to Facebook and such.  Just.  Can't.  Do it.

The one good thing that has come from my absence from the blog world and from photo-taking is that I am dead center of LIVING my life.  I'm here in the present.  I'm doing things with Jayna and with Chris and with my family and loving every minute of it.  It's so great to not feel obligated to stop and get a picture.  It's...liberating.  I think I said that in my last post, but it was so long ago that I can't really remember.

What I DO remember between my last blog post and this one is:

• I still have a love/hate relationship with Christmas music.  There are a few songs that I will always love, but far more that I will ALWAYS cringe upon hearing.  One of those is "I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus" by The Jackson Five.  I am a firm believer that that is one of the songs on the soundtrack in hell.
• We are going strong with our Elf on the Shelf, Finnegan, and Jayna is having a great time with it.  I'll write an entire post about it soon.  She is sort of skeptical about how he moves around and does things.  She said this morning, "Mommy, Finnegan is a toy...how does he move around?"  She's onto me!!!  Deny, deny, deny!!!
• I have stood up to my handmade/small business/homemade Christmas list very well.  Of course, some people you just can't give all handmade things to.  Like a 9-year-old boy.  He needs books and sports things and funny t-shirts.  And like a 3-year-old girl.  She needs princess things and Adele CDs and dresses (that don't cost me an arm and a leg).  I am making many things (baking, crocheting, crafting, etc.) and I've purchased many things from Etsy that are handmade and VERY AWESOME.  I'll have to share said gifts after the holidays.  I've also tried to be very thoughtful in my gifts instead of just buying things to be buying them.  The thing about making things?  I actually have to DO it and stop procrastinating.  It's only 16 days/2 weekends until Christmas.  YES...I DID just do that.
• We've begun tumbling and jazz dancing.  Jayna loves both and she is doing better in these than she did in the previous ballet and tap classes.  I think she's finally just caught on to what a dance routine and rhythm really are.  And tumbling?  She'll do flips and walk on a balance beam anyday!
• Next Friday we're going to The Children's Museum for our annual (okay, it's only the second year, but whatever) Yule Slide/Winter Wonderland visit.  Our friends Laura, Lee, Layla and the new addition, Levi are going with us also.  The girls will have fun again and the adults will like the slide better than the kids...again. :)

I will be posting some photos soon (you know, the few I take with my phone).

Are YOU done with your Christmas list?

Five for Friday: Holiday Thoughts

Man.  Where the hell have I been?!?  What the hell have I been doing?!?  Well, life.  I've been doing life.  And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

I struggle between making sure things are down right PERFECT so they look good in the photos and actually being PRESENT in my life.  I've found that when I'm pushing for things to look a certain way so that I can remember them, I miss things that should absolutely NOT be missed.  And seriously?  The photos are hardly EVER representative of what actually happens.  I'd rather remember things for what they are then for what I WANTED them to be.  I want to be present.  To not miss out on things.  I want to remember because I was there...not because of some photo that was staged.

That, my friends, is one of the main reasons for my absence from blogging.  I try to keep up with the blog.  I try to keep people reading.  But I also need to be there in my life doing things like playing Barbies with my kid...because she NEEDS someone to brush their hair properly, people.  If I'm blogging or trying to stage photos, HOW WILL THOSE BARBIES LOOK FANCY?!?  Yeah, you tell me.

The truth is that Jayna and I have been having so much fun.  We've been playing and crafting and making flarp and cooking together.  Dudes...I am REALLY going to miss 3 years old.  I mean really miss it.  I find myself so concerned with keeping the house cleaned and making the kid eat at the dining room table instead of in the living room and doing the laundry and blogging and taking pictures and...and...and making the kid wear clothes in the house and be nice to her imaginary friend and NOT yell at that dog that I often forget to just...............STOP.  (Collaborate and listen.  I know most of you were thinking that anyway.)  STOP and play.  And listen.  And teach.  And smile.  For the love of all things...just SMILE!!!

Jayna brings me so many smiles that I can't even count 'em.  She makes me laugh.  She makes me cry tears of bittersweetness because she won't be like this forever.  She makes me remember what it's like to be a kid.  And I won't be distracted at this time.

Of course I'm still going to take photos.  That's never going to end.  Should it matter that most of them are iPhone photos?  No...it shouldn't. 

I'll still blog.  I have too many random things to say to not write stuff down. 

I'm just 100% COMPLETELY FINISHED with feeling guilty about how I do or do not do these things.  The end.

Well, the end of that anyway.

The holidays have brought the above epiphany.  I will be DOING this holiday season instead of RECORDING.  I'm sure things will be recorded, but not in the capacity of past years. 

I now present to you:  Five for Friday:  Holiday Thoughts:

1. I am sick and tired of putting my heart and soul into making gifts and/or putting tons of thought into buying gifts for people and them not being AT ALL appreciative.  I'm not saying that I expect people to cry, send me a Thank You card, faint...I'm just saying this:  THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE WHEN I GIVE YOU A GIFT SAYS MORE THAN YOUR WORDS EVER WILL.  That being said, I refuse to let just a FEW people that I give gifts to ruin my holidays by making me think I just have to hand them cash.  Not. Going to. Happen.  I have a 3-year-old to teach.  I want her to learn that gift-giving doesn't have to be about money.  Gifts can cost a million dollars or nothing at all...it's thoughfulness that is important.  If you DO happen to get a monetary gift, you should think of this as an insult.  And it will only be five bucks.
2. I will not stress over whether or not people have a good time at my house.  This one is going to sound a little harsh.  If I invite you over for a holiday and you actually come, then there is NO complaining about the food, the activities or the lack of things like watching TV.  If you don't like my mashed potatoes because they're made of red potatoes and are chunky, then DON'T EAT THEM.  I happen to LOVE them that way.
3. I am trying my best to be thoughtful with gifts this year.  Not just thoughtful to the person receiving the gifts, but thoughtful about where I buy them.  I am making many of this year's gifts.  Jayna will be helping me.  She LOVES to help me do things.  It makes my heart sing. :)  I am also buying many handmade things from Etsy and from local businesses.  I will not buy ONE SINGLE GIFT at Walmart this year.  Let it be heard.
4. I will be introducing our Elf on the Shelf, Jimmy, right after Thanksgiving.  I am so excited to put thought into what I want this elf to do.  I have some very good ideas that I think Jayna will LOVE.
5. I plan on DOING more things this year with family.  We did so many awesome things around the holidays when I was a kid.  We went to the Circle of Lights show downtown.  We went to plays.  We went shopping together and made cookies together and made ornaments.  We strung popcorn and played in the snow.  I have so many good memories of the holidays and I'm eager to start our own traditions as a family that includes a little girl.

What is YOUR holiday mission statement this year?  I'd love to hear from all of you.

Five for Friday: I don't even know.

I really don't have time to blog anymore. 

I feel bad because this is my main source of recording memories since I've taken a hiatus from scrapbooking.  You know, because I didn't have time to do that either.

We won't mention the fact that there is so much random shit stacked up in my scrapbook area that I can't even access most things.  Oh...and the paid bills that need to be filed and the old bills I pulled out to shred to make more room for the paid bills that need to be filed.  This could go on and on and on...but I won't bore you with the details.

Anyhooters, I feel like I should atleast update y'all on all the crazy junk that goes on at my house.  As if you care about that. :)

• Jayna has been sick.  She has a sinus infection.  I was home with her most of the day on Monday.  Since Halloween only comes once a year, we let her go trick-or-treating to about 10 houses.  She'd had enough after that and she had a really bad night.  I ended up staying home with her on Tuesday also.  When Chris came home on Tuesday, he went STRAIGHT outside to clean up leaves.  I, on the other hand, remained in the house with the kid.  Jayna wanted to go outside and since it was 70 degrees outside...I LET HER.  SICK AND ALL.  We were going crazy.  Seriously.  On Wednesday, I went back to work.  I was ecstatic.  While I enjoy the fact that I have a job that is flexible enough so I can stay home with a sick kid, after a few days with Whiney McWhinester, I'm ready to cry.  When I picked Jayna up from school, she threw a fit before we were even out of the parking lot.  When we got home, I set her up in the living room with her toys and a show and then I promptly lifted the glass in the screen door and went outside to rake leaves.  I had to be away.  Just...away.  When Chris came home, he made fun of me for using a regular rake instead of our leaf blower/mulcher/vac.  He said, "Just go in.  I'll finish this."  I looked him right in the eye and said, "I'M NOT GOING IN THERE."  He apparently understood what was going on and quickly showed me how to use the leaf vac. I stayed out there until 6:30pm.  And I vacuumed a pile of leaves into the shape of boobs.  Don't worry...they had on a bra.
• Jayna got a Fisher Price kid's camera for Christmas last year.  It was...well, let's just say that it doesn't work the way Jayna wants it to.  It doesn't have a flash and the lighting in our house sucks, so most things she takes a picture of (read:  the black and very quick dog Ollie) just look like a blur.  Also?  The button you push to take the pictures fell off and we have to keep putting it back on.  Also?  I have to change the batteries in it after every 15 pictures or so.  Well, last week, she was trying to take a picture of a bug on the screen door.  It was dark outside.  She kept taking the picture and then looking at the screen of the camera to see if she got a good picture.  They all just looked like black pictures.  She got so mad that she couldn't even form a sentence.  She threw the camera down on the floor and this is what I got from her:  "Mommy, that dang camera!!  It...I can't...all my pictures don't work.  I can't see the bug...I...THAT DANG CAMERA!!!  It is....the button broke....and the batteries...why are the batteries out?  You changed 'em 1 day ago...THAT DANG CAMERA, MOMMY!!!"  It was really sad and really funny at the same time.  I simply said, "Yes, I know, Jayna.  That camera hasn't worked right since you got it."  She looked up at me very satisfied and said, "Yeah, mommy!!!  You're right!!  I'm gonna tell that to Santa."  I'm glad I can be there for her to help her express herself. :)
• Jayna thinks that the singular of ear wax is ear whack.  This is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard.  Seriously.  She tells me, "Mommy, I think I have a whack in my ear."  And I die laughing every. Single. Time.  That is all.
• Jayna's new speech patterns include "I would like..."  or "Would you like..."  It makes me proud because I've been trying to teach her that for sometime.  Instead of, "Mommy, I want a snack!!!"  I make her ask me again like this:  "Mommy, I would like a snack, please."  Now, I don't expect her to do this all the time or anything, but I think it's important that she know how to speak in a proper way.  And she's learning.  Now she says everything that way.  "Mommy, I would like pizza for dinner."  "Mommy, would you like to color with me?"  "Daddy, would you like to dance with me?"  It's pretty cute. :)
• Jayna has been making the decisions of which toys she wants to "give to the babies" when she gets some new things for Christmas.  I have been explaining to her that she is getting bigger and likes different things than she did when she was little.  And since she doesn't play with some of her toys anymore, that maybe she could give some of them to other kids who would actually play with them.  Well, she interpreted that to mean that all the toys she gets rid of are going directly to little babies.  She regularly brings me things and says, "Mommy, I don't play with this anymore.  Can we give it to the babies?"  It's pretty funny.  I'm glad she's learning the idea of charity, but I'm not sure how to explain to her that all of her things aren't going to a rogue group of babies.  I think I'll leave that one alone for now.  There will be time to explain all that when she's older.

That's all I have.  You?

Five for Friday: This Will Only Make Sense to Some of You

Within the past few weeks, it seems that Jayna is more in tune with her emotions.

I know I've said in previous posts that she IS emotions, but now the emotions are the result of her thoughts and not just emotions to be having emotions.

It's interesting to watch her emotions and her critical thinking skills evolve.  The good thing about this is that we are more successful in reasoning with her.  The bad thing about this is that she is more successful in reasoning (and bartering) with us.

I'm pretty sure Jayna is going to grow up to be a con artist.  Hopefully she can be one of the Ocean's 11.  I love those guys.  And Tess.

Anyhoo...

I have a handful of funny stories that illustrate my point above.  They are sort of random.  Some are funny and some are sort of bittersweet.  And if you are on Facebook, you've heard a few.

I present to you, kind readers:  Five for Friday:  Stories About Jayna That Are Related But Not In A Way That You Can Really Tell.

• A couple of weeks ago, Jayna was going potty.  She is learning to use the toilet without her little potty seat on there, so it really looks like she's just going to fall in there at any moment.  She usually holds onto the side of the toilet to balance herself, but on this particular evening, she was relying solely on her muscles to hold herself there.  I said to her, "Jayna, don't fall in!"  She replied with, "I won't, but if I did, you'd flush me down!!"  She laughed for a minute and then she looked up at me and said, "And then you wouldn't see me anymore and you would have to get a new Jayna."  That caught me totally off guard.  I said, "But I don't want another Jayna.  You are unique and there can never be another you.  And no, if I flushed you down, we wouldn't see you anymore, but you wouldn't see mommy or daddy anymore either."  She looked down and thought about it for a minute.  She then looked up at me with gigantic tears in her eyes.  "I don't wanna flush down.  I wanna see you and daddy!!" 
• Yesterday, it was super windy outside.  When I dropped her off at preschool, I told her, "Jayna, I'll pick you up after school...if I don't blow away!!"  She just shrugged it off and said, "It's okay mommy.  Daddy will pick me up."  I chuckled at her because we do tease one another a lot.  As I was opening the door to leave, I feel a jolt and a little someone tightly grab my leg.  She looked up at me, quite teary, and said, "Mommy, I was teasing you.  I want you to pick me up.  Don't blow away, please." 
• One of my favorite (and slightly evil, now that I think about it) things about kids not really knowing the succession of numbers is their inability to properly haggle.  When Jayna is screwing around at dinner, I regularly give her the "You can't get down until you eat 4 more bites." threat.  Her usual sassy response used to be, "NO MOMMY!!!  FIVE BITES!"  To which I reply, "Fine...5 bites."  And then I laugh when I turn my head.  Well...she now KNOWS number succession.  She knows when to go higher and when to go lower without fail.  One morning she wanted me to read her some stories.  "Mommy, can you read me 5 stories?"  I replied, "No, I can read you ONE story.  We don't have time for anymore."  "But mommy...I want 5."  I tried to keep my cool.  "Jayna, we have time for 1."  "Okay, mommy.  How about 4?"  "No, Jaynie...2."  "No, mommy...4."  "No, Jaynie...3."  "Okay mommy...3."  She then laughed hysterically and said...STRAIGHT TO MY FACE..."Ha.  I get 3 stories instead of 1."  And in my head, I said, "WHAT IN THE HELL JUST HAPPENED TO ME?"
• Jayna's favorite singer is Adele.  She loves all Adele songs.  She knows words to the songs.  She knows what the backup singers are singing.  She knows the order of the songs.  It's crazy.  She has even begun listening to Adele in her bedroom.  This morning she went into her bedroom and got the CD so we could listen to it in the car.  She said to me, "Mommy, can the Adele CD just be mine now?  I won't drop it.  Ever."  I replied, "Well, I like Adele too.  And I think we'll just keep it with all the other CDs and you can use it whenever you want."  She wasn't happy about that.  "But I really really really like it and I bet you only really like it.  And you have money and can buy a new one.  I don't."  I found that point difficult to argue.  "But why would I want to buy another one when we have one already?"  She thought hard about that one.  "So you can listen to it in the living room and I can listen to it in my room.  We have 2 rooms, you know."  Geez...I guess I'm a dumb mom now.  I don't even know we have more than one room in the house. :)
• A few weeks ago, my mom sent home some sheets of stickers with me for Jayna.  Jayna LOVES stickers and has been known to decorate our house with them.  When we got home, I gave her the stickers with the usual warning, "Do NOT stick them on the furniture, the walls or your books.  If you do, I'll throw them all away."  She is normally, at this point, very good about it.  She played stickers while I prepared some dinner and then she moved on to dressup.  It should be said that when Jayna plays dressup at our house, I let her just wear her panties under her dressup clothes.  She came to me to zip up her dressup dress and then went about her business in her room.  A few minutes later, she came into me and asked me to unzip the dress.  I unzipped it and helped her take it off.  She turned to face me and I see......2 smiley face stickers.  ONE ON EACH NIPPLE.  "Jayna...why did you put stickers on your boobs?"  She was ready with a response, "You told me not to put them on the furniture, the wall or my books.  So I put them on my booms.  They fit."  Holy.  Crap.

I love telling these stories.  I feel like I'm including all of you in the growing up process that is Jayna.  She is picking things up, not just words and letters and stuff, but CONCEPTS, at the speed of light.  This makes me proud of her but it also makes me wonder what I'm in for when she's a little older.  For now, I'll just keep laughing and being completely amazed. :)

TMFYI: I PROMISE she isn't a boy.

**I'm sure this will offend someone, so if you are uncomfortable with poop jokes, do not read any further.**

I'm going to start out with this:

I just want you to remember the girly sweet face that came up with this story.  Because if I wrote this without pronouns and you didn't know Jayna was a girl, you'd swear it was a conversation I had with a 6-year-old boy.  NOT a sweet little 3-year-old non-ballerina.

And on a sidenote, I WILL blog about the ballet.  Her last class is next Monday, so expect to hear about it after that.

Last night at the end of bathtime, I let out the water and Jayna was dillydallying in the tub.  I reminded her SEVERAL times that the water was going down the drain and she'd soon just be sitting in an empty tub.  She just...wouldn't get out. 

This was the conversation that ensued when I started to lose my patience:

Me:  JAYNA.  It is TIME to get OUT of the tub.  Come on.  It's bedtime.
(she then leaned back on her elbows in the empty tub, pulled her legs up by her ears as FAR as they'd go and began to inspect her...ummmm....area.)
Jayna:  Mommy...what do you think my poopoos are doing down there?
Me: ................(stunned silence)...................
Jayna:  They're prob'ly just stinkin' and playin'.  I think they wanna go outside in a minute.

I then had to leave the room to lose my mind.  I laughed so hard I almost peed myself.  I told Chris and he said, "Well, maybe that means she has to poop."

I got her out of the tub, dried her off and we did bedtime routine:  jammies, hair combed, book.  We went back to the bathroom to brush her teeth and go potty.  She got up on her stool to brush her teeth and I asked her if she had to poop. 

Jayna:  No, mommy.
Chris:  I thought your poopoos wanted to go outside to play?
Jayna:  They're out there now, daddy.  Oh...they're comin' back in.  Come on poopoos. (as she motioned to her butt for them to "get back in.")
Chris and I: (laughing hysterically...I even had to leave the room)
Jayna:  There.  Now they're back in there stinkin' and playin'.

Now...scroll back up to that picture. 

That sweet little girl came up with that.  And she was as serious as could be about it.  I'm not sure how she kept a straight face through it all, but she did.

I think I'm screwed.  And at this rate, I won't need a little boy around to learn all about the gross stuff.  Jayna's got that covered just fine.

Five for Friday: LOL

You probably think that LOL stands for "laugh out loud."

Well, you're wrong.  Way wrong.

According to my almost-9-year-old nephew, it means "little old lady."  And that's what I'm writing about.  Little old ladies.

My favorite LOL...Sophia Petrillo.

I like little old ladies.  Except when they're driving.  Or walking in front of me at a rate of 1 mile per 5 years.  Or counting out pennies to pay for 37 bucks worth of Depends and BenGay.  Other than that, I just love them.

I'm beginning to find that I am more like a LOL than I care to admit.  Except for RIGHTNOW...seeing as how I'm admitting it to the WHOLE INTERNET and stuff.  I'm finding that I am quickly losing touch with my age group and relating more and more to the 70-year-old crowd.  Yikes.

And here it is - Five for Friday: How I Channel My Inner (or Outer) LOL:

1. I have a pill box.  There are no actual medications in there though.  Only vitamins...and only one of those is prescribed.  I have been put on a very strict vitamin regimen by my doctor because of a lack of vitamin D...which can be a big problem if I don't get it under control.  I have to take 5 pills a day at varying times.  And you have to be some sort of superhero to remember all that.  So...pillbox it is.
2. I crochet like nobody's business.  And to add fuel to the fire, guess what I've most recently learned how to crochet?  Granny squares.  Seriously.  I love to crochet as it A.  is easy. B.  makes things that are useful like hats and scarves and mustaches on sticks. C.  is cheap. D.  keeps me from snacking and/or biting my nails.  I've had many requests for crocheted things, so it can't be that bad, right? 
3. I hate teenagers.  They are my NEMESIS.  If I'd have acted like teenagers do today when I was a teenager, I wouldn't be alive today.  My mother would've killed me and buried me in the flower bed.  End of story.  Rude.  Sense of entitlement.  Bad manners.  Bad grammar.  Wear the dumbest clothes.  Can't drive.  I could go on and on and on.  And on.  And.  On.
4. I have stopped moving out of the way for people in public places.  I used to be so aware that my cart or myself were in the way and I'd promptly move.  Do you think most other people promptly move when THEY are in MY way?  Nope.  Never.  So I don't care anymore.  Those people can wait just like I have to.  Jerks.
5. I could go to bed at 7pm almost everyday.  But Chris says no.  He says I'm way too young for that business.  I'm lucky to stay awake on the couch until 9pm...unless I'm crocheting.

So...disregarding chronology, how old are you?  Are you way younger, way older or about the same?  I'm curious.