Let's open with this story:
There is a 4-way stop that I go through EVERYtime I leave my house. There is no way around it. Well, I guess I could go the other way. But, I digress. I don't know what it is about this particular 4-way stop that makes people lose their minds. I have a couple of theories:
- It's actually the Bermuda Triangle and there is a magnetic/gravitational/alien force that scrambles the human mind and people really just lose the ability to think logically in that general area.
- The wide lanes on some sides, the narrow lanes on other sides, the railroad tracks and the gas station on the other corner throw people off. There are many things going on at that stop sign, so it's a little...unsettling. And people lose the ability to think logically in that general area.
- This 4-way stop is the only way to and from a highly populated residential area causing drivers to sit in long lines of traffic from every direction and at almost everytime of day. And after sitting in traffic for that long at a 4-way stop that most of us sit through ATLEAST twice a day, we get frustrated and lose the ability to think logically in that general area.
A week or so ago, I was sitting at the stop sign and the person in front of me waved no less than 7 cars through the stop sign before he went. As he was waving cars on, I said, "C'mon, buddy!! Just GO!!!" And from the backseat, I heard a rather loud, "YEAH!!! IT'S NOT POCKET SINCE, BUDDY!!!"
Pocket science. I can imagine that pocket science is just as, if not more, intriguing as actual rocket science. I've added pocket science to my list of expressions and, insanely enough, to my list of subjects to study in my free time.
And on to this story:
A couple of nights ago, Jayna was extra tired and was speaking jibberish before bed. I couldn't understand one single word she was saying, but it did sound as if she were speaking an actual language. I asked her, "Jayna, are you speaking German?" She turned to me, looking sort of mean, pointed in my face and yelled, "No mommy, YOU'RE A GERMAN!!" (Put the emphasis on "YOU'RE" in there. As if someone called you a name and you turned around and called them the same name back.)
Chris and I both shed a tear from the laughter. That kid is nuts!!
And now a note about behavior:
Jayna is learning about sadness right now. She knows that when she's sad, she feels like crying and that she generally feels...bad. The important aspect she lacks is knowing the difference between crying because she's throwing a fit and crying because she's actually sad. There have been several occasions in the last 3 or so days in which she's been dead center of a fit and looked at me and yelled, "I'm sad because (insert reason for fit)." This morning was one of my favorites:
Me: Jayna, please don't cut your muffin with your fork. It's crumbling everywhere and making a mess. Plus, we never eat muffins with a fork. Use your hands and take bites.
Jayna: But mommy! I wanna use my fork. I learning how to cut things with my fork. (Chris had just made a reference to how she was learning to cut things with her fork and we never taught her, she just picked up on it.)
Me: But we never cut muffins. You can learn to cut other things at dinner tonight.
Jayna: WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA CUT MY MUFFIN!!!
Me: If you're going to throw a fit, you can go to time out.
Jayna: I not throwing a fit!! I'm sad because I wanna cut my muffin.
Seriously?!? That kid's got a long road ahead of her if she's sad about cutting food that is supposed to be eaten otherwise. These episodes happen atleast 3 times a day at this point.
Here's how a conversation with Jayna goes:
Jayna: Mommy, did daddy go to the store to get ice?
Me: Yes...he'll be back in a minute.
Jayna: I love my daddy.
Me: Yeah...he's a good daddy, isn't he?
Jayna: Yeah...and he's a boy. And he needs a haircut. And I need a haircut too.
I don't always follow her, but I'm proud that she is getting the hang of carrying on a conversation. :)
Here's a story she told me a week ago:
(While in the bathtub)
I was gonna take a shower bath, but daddy said I played outside and need to take a big bath. But he said we hurry 'cause it's late. He said I get 2 toys (proudly holding up 2 fingers). If I get more than 2, I not have time for a book. And I wanna read a book. Chicka Boom Boom, mommy. I wanna read Chicka Boom Boom. Flip Flop Flee, mommy!!!!!! FLIP FLOP FLEE!!!!
A note about influences:
Last week, Jayna and I were running late. I told her, "Let's go!! Get your shoes on. Mommy can't be late for work. And you can't be late for school." She replied, "I can't go to school today. I have band practice."
Several times a week, Jayna will put on her "running shoes" (just gym shoes from Payless) and she'll say, "I go for a run now. I gonna have a good run. Love you mommy. Love you Daddy. Be back soon." She'll then run 3 or 4 times around the kitchen island or the coffee table (We aren't really all that strict about things like running in the house. Call us hippies, but we just don't really care.) and come back to us and say, "I went for a run. I had a good run!"
Every now and then, Jayna will request to watch Shrek. While I don't think it's all that kid-friendly, I let her watch it anyway. Whatevs. Over the weekend she wanted to play outside. Here's how that went:
Jayna: Mommy, can I play outside?
Me: No, Jaynie. Sorry. It's raining.
Jayna: It's STILL raining?
Me: Yep. And it's probably going to rain tomorrow too.
Jayna: (heavy sigh, hanging head) It's hopeless. I never play outside again.
She got that from Shrek. And she really did use it in the correct context. Maybe Shrek isn't so bad after all. I'll know better when she replies to me, "Bite me!!" :)
And on to the doctor's appointment:
When I took Jayna to her 2 year well-child check-up, I was told that all of her immunizations were up to date for a long period of time and that we didn't need to come back until she was 3. When Chris took Jayna in a couple weeks ago because she was sick, the doctor told him that she'd missed her 2.5 year well-child check-up. He went ahead and scheduled it thinking that I just forgot. I personally think that this was a way for the doctor to a.) get more money out of me, and b.) make me feel like a terrible parent.
So I took her last Tuesday for her phoney 2.5 year check-up. She weighs 34 pounds which is the 89th percentile. She is 36.5 inches tall which is the 53rd percentile. But somehow this STILL puts her in the 95th percentile for her BMI.
The doctor told me she is too big. AGAIN.
Those who know me know what my kid eats. Yes, she gets candy sometimes. Yes, she gets pizza sometimes. But most of the time, she would rather have broccoli and blueberries. She does NOT overeat. She does NOT drink a gallon of juice a day. She is 2 years and 8 months old and wears size 3T clothes. She's just a chubby baby girl. And the next time that doctor tells me she's too big (unless Jayna's 10-years-old or something), I'm going to punch her right in her neck.
So THERE.
But in other news, Jayna put the nurse in her place regarding the thermometer. The nurse said to Jayna, "Let's take your temperature. It goes..." And Jayna, while taking her arm out of her dress, cut the nurse's words off with, "I know...it goes under my arm. I know. And it's called a 'mometer."
When the doctor came in, she asked me a jillion and a half questions. I answered them all. At one point, the doctor asked me if Jayna could throw and kick a ball. I said yes and then I turned to Jayna and said, "Can you kick a ball?" She replied, "Yep...and better than you can, mommy." Oy.
During the exam part of the appointment, the doctor found a problem with Jayna's eyes. She has alternating esotropia. (To K80...that's perfectly fine to Google at work.) She has to go see an eye doctor at the end of May. The doctor tells me, "Sometimes it can be corrected with glasses, but it often requires eye muscle surgery."
SURGERY?!? AGAIN????? My kid is not even 3. But my doctor has a way of totally blowing things out of proportion. Way to make me worry, doc.
So...there you have it. All about the Jayniac. She's getting so big so very quickly. I keep writing to hold onto the memories. :)
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