I'm not sure that I could put this into an organized form, so here is my random list of funny from the Mini:
- Funny t-shirts worn by participants: "DO NOT PASS! Race Official" / "If Found, Please Drag to Finish Line" / "If you can read this, I'm not last" (that's my personal favorite) / "I AM running!" (followed by a picture of a turtle) / And an inspiring one that kept me going: "Pain is weakness leaving your body."
- Random people who passed me: Two guys dressed like Gumby and one dressed like Pokey (yes, I see the irony in being beaten by Pokey). Two children. Three blind runners. A dude in a skirt and a big funny hat. A one-armed man with no shirt on. Two fire departments and one police department who were wearing ALL of their gear (approximately 65 lbs. of extra weight, I hear). And I wondered why morale was low....
- Funny signs held by spectators: "Jen, this can't be worse than being married to me! Keep it up and good luck!!!" / "You're almost there!" (held at mile 2) / "Run like zombies are chasing you."
- Sad funny experience: When I finished the race, I was extremely disoriented and emotional. I was handed a bottle of water and couldn't even open it. Next I was handed my medal that was wrapped in plastic so I couldn't put it around my neck. Next I was handed a Marsh bag to put things in, but I was already being pushed along, so I couldn't stop and rearrange the things in my arms. A man put a banana in the bag. I wanted to eat that banana SO bad, but I couldn't get to it to take the peeling off...and I'm not sure I could've because my hands were tight. The next guy put a granola bar in the bag. Again...damn wrapper. The next woman was holding a package of opened sugar cookies. They were opened!!! All I had to do was shove that cookie in my mouth! As I took the cookie out of her hand, I hugged her and almost started to cry. I said a very sincere "thank you" through my tears and immediately started eating that cookie. I'm sure that lady thought I was crazy, but she had a story to tell later. :)
- Icky funny experience: I was told by more than one person to take toilet paper with me. "Just put it in the waistband of your pants in case you have to go before the race and the port-o-let is out of paper." So I did. I didn't have to use it before the race and I forgot about it. When I was inside the track and had to pee, I walked into the bathroom and there was a line of about 10 people, but there were also atleast 5 open bathroom stall doors. I asked the person up front, "Why aren't you going?!?" Her response was, "Well, that one is out of toilet paper, that door doesn't lock...." I was thinking, "Why are you people even here!!! I know I'm not fast, but who cares about an unlocked door!!!" So I went to the front of the line and went into one of the stalls with no toilet paper because..............I HAD SOME IN THE WAISTBAND OF MY PANTS. Yes...it was the sweatiest toilet paper known to man. But it did the job and I only wasted about 90 seconds versus the 10 minutes I would've had to stand in line.
- Mental funny experience: At mile 10, my exact thought was, "I still have 3 miles left and I want to die." My next thought was, "Well, I'm sure there are lots of things worse than having 3 miles left and wanting to die. Let's make a list...actually dying. Childbirth. Having to somersault those 3 miles. Going to the BMV. Having a sick baby. Being Osama Bin Laden. Running those 3 miles in high heels. Not finishing this race. Being forced to play Farmville on Facebook." You get the idea. It kept me busy for about 1.5 miles and I got the list to almost 50. I was talking out loud most of that time, so I'm sure people were wondering if I was okay. I also think I repeated a few, but I can't be sure.
- Funny(ish) things I learned: After a run/walk routine for 6 miles, it becomes painful to walk. This means you want to run more, but you're so tired it's almost impossible. / You will want to quit no less than 38 times during the race. Give yourself just one more "I want to quit." after everytime you say it. And before you know it, you're done. / There are probably more people who do NOT take races like the Mini seriously than there are who DO take it seriously. I saw a crazy number of people on their cell phones and who were texting. / When you are watching a race at the IMS, the track has 4 turns. When you are running a race on the IMS track, it has 13 turns. Don't question me...I counted. / Do atleast 2 training runs that are the distance of the run you're participating in. (This may be personal for me, but probably would've prevented many breakdowns toward the end of the race.) / People don't care who you are...they'll still cheer for you. And when they cheer for you USING YOUR NAME?? Yeah, it will freak you out. And then you'll remember that your name is on your race bib. / I CAN run without headphones. / Wear a disposable long-sleeved t-shirt over a short-sleeved one if it's cold when you get there. Pitch the long-sleeves when it gets warmer. / KEEP MOVING. It is that much more difficult if you stop and try to start again. / Remember always that THE RACE WILL END EVENTUALLY. The pain and frustration and emotions are temporary...but the finish is forever.
I finished! Two thumbs up!!
Bib# 21228 :)
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