Freaky Friday: Exorcise The Demon

We have an issue that needs to be addressed:



Photo courtesy of Purzuit.

We all know who that is, right?  RIGHT?!?

If you haven't seen the movie Drop Dead Fred, PLEASE DO SO NOW.

It's happening to me. 

Dear lord...it's happening.  To me. 

Actually it's happening to Jayna, but it's directly affecting me also.  And Chris.  And Jayna's preschool teachers and classmates.

I don't even really know where to start telling this story.

Jayna has an imaginary friend.  This friend began as one of her dolls.  She called one of her dolls Babe for awhile.  Now Babe is a full blown troublemaking, invisible, little shit of an imaginary friend.

Chris and I call Jayna "babe" at home.  We believe that's where she picked up the name Babe for her friend.  It started out innocent enough.  We'd hear Jayna playing in her room and talking to someone.  When we'd ask who she was talking to, she'd say, "My friend, Babe.  We're just playing."

Okay.  Normal.  Lots of kids have imaginary friends.  She plays with Babe everyday at some point.  They play dressup and they play games and then Jayna sends Babe home...but Babe always seems to sneak back in.  AT BEDTIME.

A few weeks ago, Jayna walked up to me, looked at me out the top of her eyes, pointed her finger straight at my face and said to me in a very scary redrum-like voice, "Do you want to play?"

When I questioned why she was talking like I needed to call an exorcist, she told me, "That was Babe asking you to play with her."

Cue Twilight Zone music.

Here are the negative trends with Babe:

• Babe gets mad at Jayna when Jayna is in trouble.  As in, if I'm upset with Jayna, she says to me, "Mommy, Babe's mad at me now!"
• When Jayna gets hurt, she makes up a story of how Babe did it.  She got a papercut on her finger yesterday at school and told her teacher, "Babe bit me!!"
• Jayna backtalks to me under her breath.  When I ask her what she said, she'll say, "I wasn't talking to you, mommy.  I was talking to Babe."
• When Jayna won't go to sleep at night and we go check on her after an hour of blabbing and screaming, she'll say, "I can't go to sleep because Babe is talking to me."
• When she doesn't want to eat part of her food, she'll say, "I'm saving that for Babe."
• She talks like she's possessed by the devil when she talks in Babe's voice and it's EXTREMELY unsettling. 

Here are the positive trends with Babe:

• Jayna tells stories through Babe.  She told her preschool teachers all about Babe...how she lives with her Grandpa, she has a garden where she grows pears and she's 3 years old just like Jayna.  She turned into a prince the other day because she was under a powerful spell.  Her new name was Prince Princess.  But then by dinnertime, the spell was over and she was just plain ol' Babe again.
• Babe seems to help Jayna get her emotions in check sometimes.  Jayna will start to get upset and then say, "It's okay, Babe.  It will be okay."  And then they'll both presumably change their attitudes.
• It provides a sense of control for Jayna.  This friend is something that is, for the most part, totally Jayna's responsibility.  She can make Babe leave when she wants.  She can change her name, her life, anything.  And I think that's good for Jayna.  She's a pretty independent kid and it seems that her having something to be responsible for cuts down on the "I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF!!!" fits.

So, here's my issue:  How do I cultivate the creativity of an imaginary friend without allowing her to use said friend as an excuse to be bad, sass me, not eat, etc.? 

It should be said that I haven't done ANY research on this (I know...what?!?).  I'm asking y'all first.

It should also be said that I won't publish ANY comments telling me that I should have another kid so that Jayna has a friend.  That, my friends, is a crock.  I say that in the nicest way possible, of course. :)

One thing is FOR SURE: I will be telling her to come up with a new voice for Babe. I'm just waiting for her to wag her finger at me and say "Red Rum, Red Rum." My heart can't take that.

I just really don't want to take this away from her.  It helps her express herself a great deal...and she needs that.  I just don't want her thinking that she can be bad and blame Babe.  It may end up being a "take the good with the bad" situation.

What do YOU think, gentle readers?