December 6

I know this is a horribly blurry picture, but there's a hell of a good story to go with it.

That is Jayna's elf, Finn.  That window is the window ABOVE the windows in our living room.  That elf is approximately 10 feet from the floor.  And I did it all by myself. 

Well, maybe not ALL by myself.  I had some help from my good friend, Corona.

Our neighbors came over last night and while the kids played, the 4 adults played euchre and drank.  We had lots of fun and maybe overdid it a little.  Chris went to bed WHILE PEOPLE WERE STILL HERE.  He was DONE.

I was okay, but buzzed.  I helped Jayna to bed and then cleaned the kitchen and tried to lose the buzz before I actually went to bed.  I don't have time for hangovers...and if I go to bed feeling like I overindulged, I'll undoubtedly wake up with a splitting headache.  So I stayed up.

Just before I went to bed, I remembered that I had to move the elf so Jayna didn't ask me again if he was dead.  (We kept forgetting to move him this year. We're busy, okay?!?)  I had asked Chris several times before to put him up in that window and I kept getting the same answer, "No.  I can't reach and I'm not getting a ladder to deal with the damn elf.  That's too much work."

I was determined to get that elf up there.  So I stood on the arm of the couch.  I still couldn't quite reach.  So I stood ON THE BACK OF THE COUCH, all the while balancing myself WITH THE GIANT PICTURE WINDOW RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. 

I successfully got the elf up there by standing on the back of the couch and reaching up as far as I could.  And then it happened.

I lost my balance.  For a split second, I was pretty sure I was going to die.  I saw a glimpse of myself crashing through the picture window, bleeding all over because glass was lodged in my body and freezing to death in the bushes outside our front window.  Chris wouldn't hear me because he was...um...asleep and slightly impaired...and Jayna would be left to find me.

All my bad decisions of the night came to the front of my mind and as I fell, I could do nothing but...LAUGH HYSTERICALLY. 

Luckily, I fell backwards onto the couch and the coffee table and lived through it. 

That damn elf will be the death of me.  I can't rightfully blame it on the beer, right?!?