The Verdict: Stick to the budget!!!

So, how many of you have a budget? And by that I don't just mean spending only what you make...I mean a spreadsheet outlining your income versus your debt and how your income is allocated each month, etc.? Well, I do. I'm just that anal.

I NEED to know where my money is going...even if I learn that it's going to too much booze and baby toys. Yes, you heard me. Booze and baby toys. I could NOT live without knowing exactly how our paychecks are being spent. I stopped with the hardcore budgeting toward the end of my pregnancy and I just resumed last month. I went for about 7 months of what I would call "flying by the seat of my pants" with our money and I nearly had a breakdown. And when I recently analyzed where our money was ACTUALLY going as opposed to where it SHOULD be going, that feeling of breakdown resurfaced.

I have read Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover. It was uber helpful. Seriously. It gave me the rundown of where our money should be going. And then it taught me how to actually make sure it goes there. So awesome. I do understand that by buying the book I did not contribute to where the money should be going and that I did contribute to Dave Ramsey's financial success. But in the long run it helped, so I think it was worth it.

I'm back at hardcore budgeting. I sleep better at night. I don't worry that we won't have enough money if the car breaks. I still get upset when the car breaks because I still don't want to pay for it. But I CAN pay for it. I just don't want to. I am back to paying most of our unallocated money to our debt. We don't have an exorbitant amount of debt, but I just want what little there is to be gone. I can't tell you the last time I paid a minimum payment on anything including our mortgage. I just don't want to owe anyone money.

I was doing some research today to determine if Dave Ramsey's methods were still deemed appropriate or feasible or whatever. You know how things are sometimes determined to be useless a few years down the road, such as the Atkins Diet (just so you know, I am neither in favor of nor opposed to the Atkins Diet. It was just an example I remembered...). I came across this article that was very interesting to me. It was interesting because it did the number crunching for me! That's what I can relate to...cold, hard facts (atleast when it comes to money).

According to the article, all three approaches used are pretty comparable....it seems to be an individual decision on which method to use. I personally like the snowball method. It's the least amount of number crunching and it is almost instantly gratifying. The millionaire method seems easy enough, but that's alot of math to do at first. And the highest interest rate first approach is the common sense approach, but takes the longest to see results. Interesting...

So, here are my questions:

* Do you have debt?
* How do you pay it? Do you only pay minimum payments or do you double up or what?
* Do you stick to a budget every month or fly by the seat of your pants?
* Do you have a fool-proof way of budgeting?

It will be interesting to see responses...

I feel silly...

...oh, so silly. It was brought to my attention by a blog reader that the second-hand toys and clothing recall thingy was a hoax of sorts. Please see this for further info.

It seems that things were blown out of proportion. There is a clarification in the above Snopes link explaining the exact details of the new law.

Normally I would have done more research, but when a blog post such as the BabyCheapskate one links to an LA Times newspaper article, I assume what I'm reading to be true. And it was true, just overexaggerated.

I apologize for the confusion. Happy Monday!!

The Verdict: Second-hand Merchandise

So long to saving money on baby stuff. I am a frequent reader of Nicole's blog and she posted about this a few days ago. I just don't think this will happen...

For more information, visit Baby Cheapskate. There are resources there that confirm the validity of the story.

Chris and I are by no means poor. But that isn't the point. The point is that there is so much gently used baby stuff out there that looks and works like it's brand new. It makes absolutely NO sense to me to buy Jayna all new stuff that she'll use for a few months when I can get it for less than half price if I buy it off of craigslist or from a resale shop...especially when I can throw the cloth parts in the washer and magic eraser/Clorox wipe the other parts and it looks brand new. I bought Jayna a Bumbo seat for $26.00 off of ebay...and that included shipping. I bought her a Baby Einstein jumper that she LOVES for $35.00 at a resale shop. I cleaned these things up and they're perfectly useful and wonderful...and she'll eventually outgrow them. In just those two products I've saved myself $60.00!!

I've bought her a few other things off of craigslist also. She has a toy like this one (but ours is Fisher Price that retails for about $30.00) that she's used so much that it's beginning to lose it's sensitivity to her kicking it. I still say that it's the best $10.00 I've spent since having a kid. I also bought her a travel swing (sort of like this one, but an older model that retailed for around $50.00) that she was too small for (I should try that again...) for $20.00. That brings my total money saved to approximately $110.00...and Jayna's only 4 months old!!

I try to do my part to #1-save money in this crazy, unpredictable economy and #2-recycle some of the junk that's already here instead of buying new things. I'd like our planet to be here and, you know, half-way clean so that Jayna can grow up in a happy, healthy world. And I'd like the same for her children and her children's children and so forth...

I'd also like her to learn the value of a dollar (okay, now I sound like my parents) and know that it's okay to have some things that are used. I'd also like her to know that donating things and selling things second-hand is GOOD. It's good for the economy. It's good for families who are less fortunate than ours. It's good for the soul to donate. I know that not all things are okay to buy used and that kids deserve new things, too, but buying her second-hand items will NOT scar her for life. I promise. In my mind I'm making her happier because she has more things to keep her busy and make her smile. She wouldn't have half the stuff mentioned above if I would have had to buy it new.

How do lawmakers expect families who rely on these resources to live? Now, more than ever, people need these resources to get by. I just think that there must be better ways to protect our children than this. Is anyone even supporting this cause? I suppose I need to look into that. Chris says that this law will never go into effect because it will be too difficult to police, especially with things like garage sales and such. I hope he's right, not just for our sake, but for the sake of others who more heavily rely on the second-hand market.

Okay, stepping down from the soapbox now. Here are my questions:

* Are there anymore of you out there who feel the way I do?
* Do you buy your children second-hand items? Why or why not?
* Do you support or oppose the banning of second-hand items?
* What is your solution to the problem?

The Verdict: Crying Fits

Jayna is almost 3 months old. She has recently (about a week now) begun throwing crying fits when she gets put in her carseat and sometimes at other times of the day. Last Thursday, Summer told me that Jayna spent most of the day crying...and throwing fits. So, I increased her bottles to 5 ounces. She's not even 3 months old, people! But I increased the bottles and she was okay on Friday with three 5 ounce bottles instead of four 4 ounce bottles. Weird.

So, all was okay on Friday. When we took her to my mom's on Friday she did fine. She fussed a little, but she's done that forever when going in the carseat. Saturday we stayed home all day, so no carseat fussing. On Sunday, she started to throw a fit both times she was put in her seat, but we got her moving quickly enough that she quieted down in a short amount of time.

Yesterday was CRAZY! The morning wasn't too bad. She began fussing and I rocked her until she quit. When I picked her up from Summer's yesterday, it was cold. I put her pants and socks on her (and onesie) and covered her up with 2 blankets. She threw a fit so big that I ended up taking her out of the seat before we left. She quieted when I took her out, but began again just as bad when I put her back in. I took her out again and she was terrible sweaty, so I took off her socks and pants thinking that I'd just cover her up. She was only going from warm house to warm car and then from warm car to warm house. I put her back in in just her onesie and she still hated it!! Once I got her in the car and moving, she was okay.

She threw another fit when I got home with her. Once I got her out of her seat, she was fine. I then took her temperature thinking she was getting sick. No fever. Right after I took her temperature, she was all smiles. Nothing was wrong! She just didn't want to be in the seat. Well, before bedtime last night, she did it again. These fits are horrible, too. Crying, thrashing about, she can't catch her breath so she stops breathing, when she does catch her breath she gasps and chokes and coughs. She makes fists with her hands and her face turns beet red. It's horrible and I can't stand it!

We had the same scenario this morning when I tried to put her in her seat. Major fit. When she first began doing this, I thought something was wrong...wet diaper, something pinching or poking her, too hot, too cold...but I'm beginning to think that these are over-tired fits. Jayna doesn't take alot of naps. She just doesn't really do naps at this point. When she does nap, it's for only 20 minutes or so. It seems that she throws these fits and then passes out...

So, my questions to all you people who read the blog...

* Should I just let her throw these fits or should I try and comfort her and work through it with her?

* Will a 3-month-old benefit from me letting her just cry? (I don't think I could do that anyway...)

* Is there something I can do to help her go to sleep before she gets to meltdown stage?

* Is this a problem that is significant enough to ask the doctor about at her next appointment?

* What did you other moms do when you faced similar situations?

Help!! I can't stand to let her throw these fits, but I don't know how to stop it! All answers are welcome and if you'd rather me not publish your comments, I won't. Thanks, all!!

The Verdict: Nighttime Feedings and Sleep

Jayna has begun sleeping for approximately 7 hours at night. She eats at around 7:45 or 8pm, puts herself to sleep by around 9pm and doesn't wake up until around 4am. That is wonderful, right? A 7-week-old sleeping 7 hours through the night is a miracle, right?? Oh dear...no.

First of all, let me tell you how frustrating it is to feed the kid at 4am when I would have to get up at 5 or 5:30am anyway. By the time I get her back to sleep, it's time for me to get up. That was just fine and dandy when I didn't have to work...I could just take a nap. Not now! If I get up at 4am to feed her, I'm pretty much up for the day. It sucks, but luckily I've been going to bed at about 9:30pm so that I can function the next day.

The problem is that when she sleeps that long, she wakes up frantic to eat. And all you moms who've breastfed know that trying to get a MANIAC latched on is more than difficult. I know how hard it is to get her to take a bottle when she's that way, so multiply that by a jillion and you have how difficult it is for me to deal with her maniacal ways. After she's latched, she eats like she's never eaten before which causes additional problems: she gulps milk causing her to either choke, spit out milk, or suck in LOTS of air. No amount of burping will help when this happens. She then ends up with a bellyache and is almost impossible to deal with once I have to wake her up at 6am...not to mention the fact that she's still dead tired because she just fell back to sleep at 5am.

I've been pondering a solution to this problem. I have a few options, but I'm unsure of where to begin. Here are a few options:

* Wake her up at between 11pm and midnight to feed her. YUCK!! I'm now used to the uninterrupted sleep!

* Wait for her to do her light slumber thing she does most nights at around 2am and wake her up to feed her then. This would give her enough time to get sleep after she goes back down after eating and I'd be able to go back to bed.

* Put her to bed earlier or later hoping she'll wake up at a different time so I could feed her closer to the middle of the night instead of late early morning. I'm afraid a later bedtime will deprive her of much needed and liked sleep. The child LOVES to sleep.

* Leave it all alone and put up with the 4am feeding until she either changes things on her own or just sleeps longer (like until 6am) instead of wanting to eat at all at night.

What do I do?? I'm lost. I'm exhausted. I'm frustrated...and I know she is too. She let us know that last night. She sort of woke up at 10:30pm, so I fed her thinking she'd sleep later. Well, about 20 minutes after eating, she threw the biggest hissy fit I've ever seen. Chris tried to hold her to comfort her, but she kept kicking and wiggling and flailing her arms around and hitting him. He had to put her down, but we think that was what she wanted anyway. She continued to throw the fit in her crib for an additional 10 or 15 minutes. I'm not sure if she was just overtired or if she just wanted to throw a fit. She wasn't hungry, her diaper was changed and she wasn't hurt. She didn't even really act like she had a bellyache or anything. Just throwing a huge fit. I don't want anymore fits, so I don't want to wake her all the way to feed her if that will happen all the time.

So, moms. What do I do? What did you do about nighttime feedings and sleep? Is getting uninterrupted sleep worth having a maniac in the morning? HELP ME!!!

The Verdict: Bedtime Routine

So, bedtime is kind of hit or miss around here. Some nights are outstanding and others are just horrible. I've read some articles about bedtime routines and apparently it should go something like this:

* First, establish a good time. All children require different amounts of sleep, so choose a time that best fits your child. For young babies, this time should be early. Early bedtimes have proven to yield better and longer sleep for infants...and they most always sleep for a longer period of time when put to bed early.

* Bathtime or something equivalent. If the child hates bathtime, don't do it right before bed...it'll only make things more difficult. The equivalent would be washing face and hands and brushing teeth/gums.

* Let off some steam. This could include gentle, quiet playtime on the floor, bedtime stories, saying goodnight to toys/people/etc., talking about the day or about tomorrow...anything to wind down. This is apparently an important part as it prepares the child/baby for lights out and/or bedtime feeding.

* Lights out and/or bedtime feeding. Turn all lights out except for nightlight and feed and burp baby. Many articles suggest that babies should not be fed until asleep and others say that comfort feeding to go to sleep is perfectly okay. The majority say that the child's last memory before the crib/bed should be of the crib/bed, not mom or dad. This is said to prepare the child for later when he/she must go to bed without eating in mom or dad's arms. The trick is to get the child as sleepy as possible without being asleep so that he/she will put him/herself to sleep.

* Offer comfort object. This could be pacifier, blanket, stuffed animal. Of course, infants aren't supposed to sleep with blankets or stuffed animals...so I guess pacifier it is. Jayna only takes a pacifier sometimes...mainly when she's extremely overwhelmed or has a bellyache. And she usually has neither of those when it's bedtime.


That's how things are supposed to happen. That's not how we've been doing things. It isn't necessarily that I think we're doing things wrong, just that we could be doing them better. Here's our routine:

* Bathtime is the beginning of bedtime. We begin bathtime at 7:30pm. This gives me 30 minutes before I begin feeding her to bathe her, change the diaper and put on her pj's.

* We currently don't do the "let off some steam" step. I think I'll try adding it tonight to see if that helps. I usually take her in to tell Chris goodnight after her pj's are on and before I feed her. I think the transition from being so very awake for bathtime and clothes-changing to lights out for eating and sleeping is too much. We need a little something in between.

* I've been feeding Jayna and letting her fall asleep...mostly because it's easier. The problem is that when I go to put her in her crib, she jolts herself awake and then either cries to be picked up or wants to eat again even though she just emptied me. The past few nights, I've sent Chris in to give her the pacifier without picking her up (if she doesn't need a new diaper or something) so she'll learn to go to sleep in the crib. He's way better at resisting picking her up and holding her than I am.

* Since last Thursday we've begun offering her the pacifier. She initially takes it everytime, but sometimes spits it out right away and doesn't want it.


So, everyone, what's your routine? If you had/have a routine for your child, I'd love to hear about it. And here are some of my questions:

* Do/did you let your child fall asleep while taking a bottle or breastfeeding? Why or why not?

* Do/did you read to your child or something before bed?

* What time do/did you begin your routine?

* Do you have any helpful hints for those of us who are having difficulty?

I'd love to hear from you all and, as always, if you don't want me to publish your comments just say so. I'll read them and delete them. Here's to a good night's sleep...

The Verdict: Pacifier Use

I'm beginning a new series of entries entitled The Verdict. These entries will be about debated topics among professionals and moms and will ask readers for opinions on these topics.

I didn't realize that pacifiers were such a hot topic! I know that most people have an opinion about them and that it's usually a strong opinion one way or the other. Before I had a baby, I had strong feelings about pacifier use and always said, "My baby will NEVER have a pacifier!" She still hasn't gotten one, but maybe my opinions have changed a little.

All articles on the La Leche League website and KellyMom warn against giving pacifiers to breastfed babies. The concern is that pacifiers decrease the duration of nursing sessions and that my milk supply will lessen because of this. There is also the fear of nipple confusion...that Jayna will prefer the pacifier over my breast. I'm not afraid of this as I am still using the nipple shield that represents a bottle nipple and she is currently getting one bottle a day. That will increase to 2 or 3 bottles a day by the end of the week. The last concern is that when breastfed babies begin the sucking motion, they are presenting to the mother that they crave food/attention from the mother. So, she may not want to eat, but she wants to be at the breast for comfort reasons. I am okay with that to a degree. I can't let her use me like that for hours on end. It just isn't practical or doable.

Jayna and I have established a good breastfeeding relationship. She eats well and she enjoys being at the breast. She likes to look at me or look out the window. She is comforted and calmed by breastfeeding. But she has a crazy need to suck when she goes to bed at night.

Jayna has begun to try and suck her thumb. At first I preferred her to suck her thumb over a pacifier...that is until today's visit to the doctor. I expressed my concern over Jayna's new colicky behaviors at night and told the doc that Jayna wants to be at the breast for sometimes hours on end. When I pull her off thinking she has dozed off, she often wakes up frantic for something to be in her mouth. I sometimes offer her my finger and she is fine with that. She doesn't want to eat, she wants to suck. And she only does this at bedtime at night. She doesn't have the need for sucking during the day. The doctor said to me, "Have you tried giving her a pacifier?"

She then proceeded to tell me that the advantage of a pacifier is that Jayna would be weaned more easily from a pacifier than if she was to suck her thumb. I can slowly take a pacifier away, but I can't very well take away her thumb. On the other hand, if she sucked her thumb, it would be on her own accord and not something that I've introduced to her.

I'm really torn over this. I could use some guidance from some of my trusted readers. Here are my questions:

* Breastfed or bottlefed, what are your thoughts on pacifiers? Good, bad, indifferent?

* Do you or did you have a baby who took a pacifier and breastfed successfully? Did you go back to work and have issues with decreased milk supply? Did your baby begin to breastfeed less frequently?

* Breastfed or bottlefed, do you or did you have a baby who only took a pacifier at night? Is it possible to limit pacifier use or will I create a monster if I try to only give her one at night?

* Breastfed or bottlefed, Ii you did use a pacifier, at what age did you introduce it?

Please weigh in on this one EVEN IF YOUR CHILD NEVER USED A PACIFIER. I could use any suggestions you all have.