Thursday, May 28, 2009

Too bad I don't know how to use a compass...

So, today is my 29th birthday, right? Right. Today begins the rest of my life, right? Right. As a wise man once said, "Begin each day as if it were on purpose." Right? Right. Ugh.

I love pirates. My friend Laura sent me a pirate e-card today and it was delightful. I just love pirates. I do. Not Somalian pirates who capture Americans. I like Pirates of the Carribean pirates. I love Jack Sparrow. Yes, he's dirty and mean and two-faced and greedy and dishonest. But he's Jack Sparrow. He's the most awesome pirate ever. And we have alot in common. Stay with me here.

I've seen all of the Pirates movies a dozen times atleast. All of these people trapped in Twilight land? Pish. My fantasy world involves drinking rum and swabbing the deck (or something) and sailing around in the Carribean. I never was a big fan of vampires. I don't like coffins. But I digress. Jack Sparrow and I have alot in common, such as:

Jack Sparrow does what he needs to do to survive. I, too, do what I have to do to survive. I've eaten ramen noodles and cereal to fund other things. Namely my drinking habit, but hey, that takes discipline. I work at a job now that supplies me with flexibility and money even though I can think of a MILLION other jobs I'd rather have.

He sometimes embellishes his stories. I, too, am known for sometimes blowing things out of proportion. Like the day after we brought Jayna home and my mom took me for a delicious peanut butter mountain. I came home to find a bloodbath in the bathroom trashcan where Chris scraped Jayna's foot at the spot where they took blood that morning. It was maybe one step down from a bloodbath...

He likes rum. I, too, like rum. And lots of it. And I would've just tied up Elizabeth Swan and left her for dead after she used all the rum for an explosion. That, my friends, is a MAJOR party foul. You just don't burn the rum. You just don't.

His family is CRAZY. I mean, did you see his dad?? Keith Richards makes the best pirate dad. Crazy and scary. And I, too, have a crazy ass family. My immediate family is okay I suppose, but the the further my family extends the worse it gets. Seriously.

And he has NO IDEA WHAT HE WANTS. His magic compass never points in the same direction for more than 20 seconds. Tia Dalma tells him that his compass will point to "that which he wants most in the world." And it just spins all over the place everytime he looks at it. I, too, have questions about what I want and I can't even READ my compass.

What do I want to do with the rest of my life? It's definitely time to make a do-or-die decision. This is it folks. Now or never. Fish or cut bait. Do I want to stick around at my current job and take over when my mom retires and put up with all the bullshit and possibly regret that decision later? Do I want to try and go back to some sort of school and try something new and spend all that time and money and possibly end up back where I am? What would I do? Would I go part time to college or would I go to CosmoProf or the Divers Institute of Technology? Hey, I could go to bartending school!! My compass just won't point in one direction. And I'm confused.

Henry David Thoreau once said, "Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder." Am I looking too hard? Am I trying too hard? Am I not trying hard enough? Ugh. I think I'm going to go back to school to learn how to use a compass...

1 comment:

Laura said...

You make me laugh. I think there are only a select few people who are lucky enough to know EXACTLY what they want to do / be. Don't worry, sometimes your compass isn't supposed to point in the same direction all the time - you'll figure it out. :)

And who doesn't love Jack Sparrow!? Johnny Depp is the only guy that would look that hot in eyeliner...