Five for Friday: Conversations I Have With Myself

I read a blog or two.  Surprise!!  But this one is sooo funny that I am sad if she doesn't update daily.  I know that sometimes life gets in the way and blogging isn't a priority, but darn it!  It should be for someone as funny as Kayla Aimee.

She began a weekly posting called Five for Friday.  This week's topic is Conversations I Have With Myself and I've decided to play along.  Here goes:

• Every weekday when I drive to drop off Jayna and then drive to work, I ask myself if I'm taking the quickest and easiest (i.e., the least school zones and stop signs, etc.) way to these places that I drive to EVERYDAY.  No matter how I change my route, it may add or subract approximately 2.7 minutes to my drive.  Yet I question this EVERY. DAY. 
• I spend a ridiculous amount of time on most days deciding in what order I'm going to watch the television programs that I've DVR'd.  Will I watch the half-hour shows first or save them for last?  Will I watch the comedies first or last?  Am I emotionally prepared to watch Grey's Anatomy tonight?  As I've said before, I'm certifiably crazy.
• I am in the midst of reading The Stand right now.  I have to remind myself many times per week that the Captain Trips/superflu disease in the book is, in fact, fictional and there is no way that I have it no matter how many times I sneeze.
• Almost once a week, I write the speech that I will give to my boss when I quit my job.  And it ain't pretty...and I use words that make me blush. 
• Multiple times a day there is an internal battle between my "I'm an awesome mom" persona and my "You're royally screwing up your kid" persona.  The funny part about this one is that the awesome mom part is always in the first person (as in I'm telling MYSELF I'm awesome) and the screw up part is in third person (as in SOMEONE ELSE is telling me I'm horrible).  I'm sure there is some meaning and really important significance and insight there, but I don't know it.  Yet. 

So there you have it.  What conversations do y'all have with yourselves??