I see atleast one very strange thing in this town per week. Sometimes it's major. Other times it could possibly be me looking for something weird. I don't know. All I know is there are enough weird things for me to make a list that far exceeds five. But we'll stick with my favorite five for today. And without further adieu, I present to you Five for Friday: Strange Things that Happen in the Small Town of Oddville (Danielle's Top Five):
- I was driving home one day and I saw a man wandering, very wobbly as if he were incapacitated in some way, down the side of the rather busy street on which I was driving. Whatever drug he took, HE TOOK TOO MUCH. He could barely stand up and he was sweating horribly. He stumbled over a boulder at one point (how do you not see a BOULDER??) and almost fell into the road. I was stopped at a stoplight, but I kept my eye on him the whole time. As I turned the corner, he fell into the road RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR. There was a school bus coming from the other direction, so it stopped traffic that way and put out it's stop sign. I immediately called 911. As I was being dispatched to the Oddville police, the man stood up, leaned on the hood of my car and just stared blankly at me. He then pointed at me. With just one index finger. I locked the doors. The bus driver also appeared to be on the phone also. Just as I heard sirens, he stumbled back up into the grass and appeared to pass out. He needed a week or so in the drunk tank. Overnight wouldn't be NEARLY enough time for this dude to sober up.
- A couple months ago, I saw 2 teenaged boys, probably around 14 or so, on a tandem bike together. I thought, "They have to be doing this as a joke. I bet I'll look in my rear view mirror just as I pass them and they'll be smirking and laughing. Nope. They were as serious as a heart attack. And I've had another tandem sighting since then also.
- I was stopped at a stop sign a few weeks ago and I saw a very normal, young (around my age) and clean-looking man walking down the sidewalk. And you're saying, "That's not weird! You're just looking for something to be strange!!" He was carrying ONE snowboot, a welcome mat with sunflowers on it, and a rock about the size of football. And now it's a whole new ballgame, isn't it? I can't even make up a story to justify this.
- I saw a fender bender at a stoplight one day and the two cars pulled into a vacant building parking lot. As I watched what was going on, I saw a little Asian woman get out of the car and, I'll have to admit, I snickered. And then the car door of the other car opened. And that driver was ALSO a little Asian woman. Now, even if you don't necessarily believe in stereotypes (and you're a NUTBAG if you DO believe in them), you'll have to admit that the irony there is absolutely priceless.
- Last Friday I stopped in Oddville to get gas after I dropped off Jayna and before I headed into work. I saw what appeared to be a bum wandering around the parking lot...stumbling around the parking lot was more like it. I was just SURE he was a bum. He was looking through the ashtrays for half-smoked cigarettes and looked dirty and drunk. Tell-tale signs of a bum. As I was pumping gas, I watched him motion a car to go in front of him. As the car passed him (the car that he JUST MOTIONED to go in front of him), he slammed his hands down on the top of the car and yelled, "You dumb bitch!!!!! You almost ran me over!!!" At this point in time I was getting back into my car. I put my things in my purse and started the car. I put the car in gear and looked up...he was standing directly in front of my car. I asked him politely to move so that I could leave (and I could smell the whiskey from my car window). He called me everything but human and kicked the bumper of my car. I proceeded to call the cops. When they got there he was off and bugging someone else. He was arrested and the cop took my written statement. I said to the cop, "You just don't see bums in this part of Oddville very often." He replied, "Oh, he's not a bum. He lives down the street and apparently he has nothing better to do than drink whiskey and bother people who are trying to go to work." Interesting. I think I'll also take that up when I retire.
* Yesterday I took a different way to pick up Jayna due to traffic issues. I was driving down a side street and I was passing a huge church. I could see a yard sale sign just on the other side of the church. I always window shop the yard sales in Oddville because some of them have really cheap and awesome kid's toys. I looked at this yard sale and there was only ONE table. And it was filled with REAL samarai swords, Crocodile Dundee knives, leather whips...and to top it off, a mace. I proceeded to laugh my ass off.
Who has an Oddville of their own? I'm curious as to what strange things y'all see.
1 comment:
SOunds like Wanamaker to me. LOL I can say that, cause I live there too.
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