Five for Friday: Slutty Halloween

I am of the strong opinion that Halloween gives females ages 15 to 50 the opportunity to dress as slutty as human possible and NOT be called a slut.  I've thought this for years and I've even fallen victim to it more than once.  BUT...

It seems that nowadays (I know...I'm like 90 years old now and using words like "nowadays") there is just STUPID gratuitous sluttiness gushing out of the pores of Halloween costume makers.  I just don't get it, especially since some of these costumes are sizes 6X.  Umm...last time I checked, the size 6X fit, well, AN EFFING SIX-YEAR-OLD!!!!  What the hell, Halloween costume maker-uppers?!?  Anything to make a few bucks, I guess.

And I present to you...Five for Friday:  Slutty Halloween

1.

Someone tell me the EXACT TIME AND PLACE that heaven began dressing their women angels in leather.  RIGHT NOW.  Seriously.  If there is one costume that probably should NOT include leather, it's probably an angel.  Courtesy of Walmart, but you aren't surprised by that.

2.

Little did y'all know that there was a 4th/5th (depending on the movie) Ghost Buster named Bambi.  Aaaand this movie would've been just THAT MUCH MORE POPULAR if there actually *was* a Bambi the Ghost Buster.  Wow...those dirty jokes pretty much write themselves.  Again, courtesy of Walmart.

3.

I certainly don't remember Little Bo Peep's navel being exposed.  Nor do I remember her dancing around a pole, but I may or may not have been a sheltered child.  Courtesy of Amazon.

4.

I actually think that this is the funniest slutty take on Little Red Riding Hood.  Note the axe and the wolf head in the basket.  Apparently this is the Grimm's Brothers version of Riding Hood...not the one that MY KID IS DRESSED AS.  I think that is why I'm soooo miffed about this.  There's nothing like dressing your kid as a fairy tale character and then seeing a slutty version and imagining that your sweet little 2-year-old will grow up to be Little Gothic Riding Hood complete with fishnet and boots that are reminiscent of a prostitute played by Julia Roberts in the '90s. Courtesy of Amazon.

5.

This one made it to the list because it's RIDICULOUSLY RIDICULOUS.  Does that dress even RESEMBLE an M&M???  Okay, so there's the face and the M.  Aside from that she just looks like she's looking for a TRICK instead of a treat. (Haha...see what I did there?)  Courtesy of Meijer.

So, there you have it.  I am not in any way saying that dressing in any of these costumes is wrong.  I am a fan of gratuitous sluttiness, but only on major holidays.  So...get out your slutty Santa suits!!

**BONUS MATERIAL**  (Wow, that made me feel official.)

And now for my ALL TIME FAVORITE Non-Gratuitous Slutty Costume:

BAM!!  Slave Princess Leia will always be my favorite slutty costume.  Until the end of eternity.  And I someday hope to have the body to uphold such an awesome tradition.

What are YOU being for Halloween??