Thoughts on Thursday: Leading Different Lives

All I know is sometimes things can be hard
But you should know by now they come and they go
So why, oh why do I....look to the other side
Cause I know...........
The grass is greener but just as hard to mow.

The above is part of a song by the John Butler Trio...Better Than.  If you haven't heard the song, go listen.  I'll wait.

I have a friend who is, in terms of where our lives are, COMPLETELY opposite of me.  It's very interesting that we seemed to have an instant friendship that may have begun on FaceBook but has now spread to every area of our lives.

Just to recap:

I am married with a child.  I have a job that I don't hate, but it's definitely not what I'd choose if I had a choice.  It pays the bills and is flexible and has good benefits.  I go to the job and I go home...with my child and my husband...every weekday.  On weekends I clean the house (because I can't let a 2-year-old live like we did in college...) and I run errands that include but are not limited to the grocery store, WalMart, Sam's Club and/or Target depending on what we need.  And all of that costs money.  I also have 2 dogs that require me to be home and spend money.  I do have the luxury (YES, I call it a luxury) of having 2 adoring Nana's who offer to watch Jayna while Chris and I spend time together, but I don't like to take advantage of that.  I am...a married woman with a child.

My friend, I'm calling her H, is single.  She is very athletic and is in great physical shape.  She has a job that has it's issues, but she likes it and thinks it is a good stepping stone to what she wants to do with the rest of her life.  She is finishing a Master's Degree (what a great accomplishment!!!) and has some great things ahead of her.  She is always dressed nicely and very groomed...and has WAY MORE MOTIVATION than anyone I've ever known in my entire life.  Seriously.

So...what's the issue??  She has lots of things that I want.  And I have lots of things she wants.

I LOVE my life.  And she LOVES hers.  But, she wants to settle down.  And have kids.  And be secure in her love/family life.  I want less responsibilities to spend money on, the motivation to get a Master's degree and the time to be in tiptop physical condition.

We to through this about once a week when we talk.  And it baffles me how we are such good friends.

I bitch about being a parent and about my job and about not having any time to spend with my friends and if I DID just happen upon the time, where would the money come from?? 

See...she doesn't know what it's like to be a parent.  Or a wife.  And while her job has issues, she seems pretty happy with it. 

She bitches about finding love and non-personal best times in races and doing homework for a Master's degree and 5am swim practices.

See...I don't know what it's like to find love.  And I know that my personal best time in ANY race (unless it's beer drinking) is going to simultaneously suck and blow.  And a Master's degree??  Pshh.  It took me 6.5 years to get a Bachelor's degree!!  Where would THAT time come from??

The thing that makes our friendship work so well is that we both have the mutual understanding that our lives will probably always be different.  Two people rarely have the same gripes on the same day at the same point in their lives.  I have many friends who are very similar to me in terms of where our lives are and we still have totally different gripes.  So...why would it be different with a friend who is different than me??

It isn't.  We listen to each other.  We offer advice when needed.  We help each other out.  We respect each other.  We are generally there for one another.

And I will never get tired of hearing about sub-7 minute miles or Tom Dolan.

And I certainly hope that she'll bear with me when I have to get off the phone due to the fact that I can't hear her.  Why can't I hear her?  Well...Elmo Live, Jayna and dogs barking aren't what I call prime time for a phone chat.

My point with this WHOLE post is that no matter what you have, there is something else that is appealing.  It's simple human nature.  While I am content, of course I'd like time to do other things.  And I now have the chance to live vicariously through H.

The grass is always greener.  But, as JB says, it's just as hard to mow.  So let's pool our money and hire a landscaping company. :)