Well, then you understand the enjoyment paired with the agony. All the emotions. All the questions. All the repeating of the lines. Simultaneously cute and excruciating.
I decided a few days ago that it was time to introduce Jayna to one of my all-time favorite childhood non-cartoon movies EVER. The Sandlot.
Haven't seen it? FOR SHAME! Go watch it. Now. I'll wait.
Okay, now that we're all on the same page...
I'm not sure what my motivation was for letting an almost-3-year-old watch a movie that I first watched when I was....wait for it.....THIRTEEN. Yes. I was 13. A teenager. And teenagers know one of two things. Either A. That insults like "pee-drinking crapface" should NOT be used. Ever. Or B. That insults like "pee-drinking crapface" should be stored away in the memory for future use. (I was in the B. category. But y'all already knew that.)
Almost-3-year-olds think those kinds of insults should be immediately repeated at RECORD VOLUMES...and multiple times. A very HIGH multiple of times.
When she heard "can't-hack-it pantywaist who wears your mama's bra," she, without missing a beat, walked right over to Ollie and said, "Hey Ollie! You're a can't-hack-it pantywaist!" And proceeded to laugh her ass off.
What would possess me to do this to myself?? As I sat there next to her and let her watch this seemingly innocent movie about some boys who lose their baseball to a dog, I couldn't help but think of all of the impending scenarios that would evolve from this experience.
Picture it: Sam's Club, Greenwood. Now imagine the story of Jayna telling the woman her hair was silly. What if she'd seen The Sandlot back then? Maybe her insult would've been much more advanced. Like, "Hey lady...you eat dog crap for breakfast!"
I"m not sure if that would have been funnier or more horrifying. Probably both.
At one point Benny (one of the main characters) yells, "OH SHIT!!!" as he is jumping over a fence. Jayna looked up at me, covered her mouth with her hand and said, "Mommy, he said a bad word." So atleast I have THAT going for me. She knows what bad words are.
Again...I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
It will be of my OWN devices if I get called any of the following in the next few weeks: scab eater, fart smeller, butt sniffer, pus licker, buffalo butt breath, or just plain ol' moron.
And some of my personal favorites: "You mix your Wheaties with your mom's toe jam." and "You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards."
And then, of course, you have the classic "L7 weenie" exchange. But I digress.
I suppose that eventually she was going to be exposed to all of this. I feel sort of like a pioneer for just going ahead and exposing her myself.
And again....good or bad? Not so sure.
The most awesome part of this story was that my almost-3-year-old sat through an ENTIRE movie. Given, it was over the course of 2 days, but she understood (for the most part) what was going on, asked questions when she got confused, knew SOME of what she shouldn't repeat, and had generally a great time watching a whole movie that is NOT a cartoon.
Seeing the emotions on her face as things happened was priceless. She got slightly scared when Squintz is telling the story of "the beast," but she looked up at me and said, "It's just a show, mommy."
She laughed her little butt off when the dog chases Benny through town, especially when the dog jumps through the back of the movie screen. She let out the cutest (and loudest) squeal laugh. Adorable.
She was extremely worried and sad when the fence fell on Hercules and Smalls was saying that the dog was hurt. She kept asking me, "Mommy...is the doggy gonna be alright? He's gonna be alright? He didn't get hurt?" Her concern was a little overwhelming. I thought she'd have trouble realizing that it was just a movie at that point, but when Hercules got up and kissed Smalls, she said, "The show doggy is okay!!!" And did a dance. :)
Overall, this was a seemingly everyday experience that turned into much more for me. Jayna, at just almost-3-years-old, roughly followed the plot of an entire movie. She knew that it was "just a movie" but still got into it enough that it held her interest. She understood some of what she should and shouldn't say. And she really enjoyed herself. Just like I did when I first watched The Sandlot. And she's already asked to watch it again.
I'll remember that first non-cartoon movie viewing forever. Especially when Jayna's a teenager, turns to me and says, "You're killin' me, Smalls." I'll get frustrated at first, and then I'll be glad that, out of ALL the alternatives, THAT was the line from that movie that stuck with her.
What was your favorite childhood movie?
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