Five for Friday: Holiday Thoughts

Man.  Where the hell have I been?!?  What the hell have I been doing?!?  Well, life.  I've been doing life.  And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

I struggle between making sure things are down right PERFECT so they look good in the photos and actually being PRESENT in my life.  I've found that when I'm pushing for things to look a certain way so that I can remember them, I miss things that should absolutely NOT be missed.  And seriously?  The photos are hardly EVER representative of what actually happens.  I'd rather remember things for what they are then for what I WANTED them to be.  I want to be present.  To not miss out on things.  I want to remember because I was there...not because of some photo that was staged.

That, my friends, is one of the main reasons for my absence from blogging.  I try to keep up with the blog.  I try to keep people reading.  But I also need to be there in my life doing things like playing Barbies with my kid...because she NEEDS someone to brush their hair properly, people.  If I'm blogging or trying to stage photos, HOW WILL THOSE BARBIES LOOK FANCY?!?  Yeah, you tell me.

The truth is that Jayna and I have been having so much fun.  We've been playing and crafting and making flarp and cooking together.  Dudes...I am REALLY going to miss 3 years old.  I mean really miss it.  I find myself so concerned with keeping the house cleaned and making the kid eat at the dining room table instead of in the living room and doing the laundry and blogging and taking pictures and...and...and making the kid wear clothes in the house and be nice to her imaginary friend and NOT yell at that dog that I often forget to just...............STOP.  (Collaborate and listen.  I know most of you were thinking that anyway.)  STOP and play.  And listen.  And teach.  And smile.  For the love of all things...just SMILE!!!

Jayna brings me so many smiles that I can't even count 'em.  She makes me laugh.  She makes me cry tears of bittersweetness because she won't be like this forever.  She makes me remember what it's like to be a kid.  And I won't be distracted at this time.

Of course I'm still going to take photos.  That's never going to end.  Should it matter that most of them are iPhone photos?  No...it shouldn't. 

I'll still blog.  I have too many random things to say to not write stuff down. 

I'm just 100% COMPLETELY FINISHED with feeling guilty about how I do or do not do these things.  The end.

Well, the end of that anyway.

The holidays have brought the above epiphany.  I will be DOING this holiday season instead of RECORDING.  I'm sure things will be recorded, but not in the capacity of past years. 

I now present to you:  Five for Friday:  Holiday Thoughts:

1. I am sick and tired of putting my heart and soul into making gifts and/or putting tons of thought into buying gifts for people and them not being AT ALL appreciative.  I'm not saying that I expect people to cry, send me a Thank You card, faint...I'm just saying this:  THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE WHEN I GIVE YOU A GIFT SAYS MORE THAN YOUR WORDS EVER WILL.  That being said, I refuse to let just a FEW people that I give gifts to ruin my holidays by making me think I just have to hand them cash.  Not. Going to. Happen.  I have a 3-year-old to teach.  I want her to learn that gift-giving doesn't have to be about money.  Gifts can cost a million dollars or nothing at all...it's thoughfulness that is important.  If you DO happen to get a monetary gift, you should think of this as an insult.  And it will only be five bucks.
2. I will not stress over whether or not people have a good time at my house.  This one is going to sound a little harsh.  If I invite you over for a holiday and you actually come, then there is NO complaining about the food, the activities or the lack of things like watching TV.  If you don't like my mashed potatoes because they're made of red potatoes and are chunky, then DON'T EAT THEM.  I happen to LOVE them that way.
3. I am trying my best to be thoughtful with gifts this year.  Not just thoughtful to the person receiving the gifts, but thoughtful about where I buy them.  I am making many of this year's gifts.  Jayna will be helping me.  She LOVES to help me do things.  It makes my heart sing. :)  I am also buying many handmade things from Etsy and from local businesses.  I will not buy ONE SINGLE GIFT at Walmart this year.  Let it be heard.
4. I will be introducing our Elf on the Shelf, Jimmy, right after Thanksgiving.  I am so excited to put thought into what I want this elf to do.  I have some very good ideas that I think Jayna will LOVE.
5. I plan on DOING more things this year with family.  We did so many awesome things around the holidays when I was a kid.  We went to the Circle of Lights show downtown.  We went to plays.  We went shopping together and made cookies together and made ornaments.  We strung popcorn and played in the snow.  I have so many good memories of the holidays and I'm eager to start our own traditions as a family that includes a little girl.

What is YOUR holiday mission statement this year?  I'd love to hear from all of you.