ToT: My Little Soapbox

TOPIC:
Soapbox time! What is the issue that stirs your heart or gets you all riled up? What is your personal project or cause? How does this affect your daily life? How do you try to make a difference?


Oh geez, people.  To be honest, I don't know what's happening with our ToT group.  Soooo many things have happened this summer and I'm not sure if we'll all recover and recommit.  I will continue to write entries of a ToT nature probably until the day I stop blogging.  Which will probably be never.  As for the others?  They'll have to speak for themselves when they so choose.


I haven't written this entry FROM ALMOST 2 WEEKS AGO because it really had me stumped.  So stumped, in fact, that I started to wonder if I have EVER tried to make a difference in ANY arena.  EVER.

Sure, I donate money to the Susan G. Komen foundation.  Sure, I've participated in and bought things that support other causes.  Sure, all 3 of my dogs have been from shelters/backyards and I donate to the ASPCA.  Sure, I've rescued strays myself and even...ahem...rescued dogs out of people's backyards.  I am a strong believer that having a pet is a responsiblity that should be taken seriously.  Abuse and/or neglect is NOT acceptable.  If you can't mindfully take care of a pet, then don't have one.  And if you won't find a new home for that pet, I'll do it FOR you.  Just ask my friends.  They'll have some stories for ya.

BUT...I don't really get extremely riled up any of those things.  I support them, but I don't really expect others to support them just because I preach about them.  I suppose I just like to quietly do my donating (time and/or money) and my supporting on my own without asking others to get on board.

So there's that.  All that being said, I was absolutely sure that I could come up with something that I preach about that is NOT a cause or project.  I have very strong beliefs about certain sociological issues and/or personal choices.  And I make those beliefs well known to people who don't necessarily use their brains.

I thought about that paragraph above for about 2 days.  And I STILL couldn't come up with anything that I climb up on a soapbox for.  I *try* my hardest to be nonjudgmental and to let people live their own lives. 

My next step was to ask the people who know me and my...rants. :)  So I took a survey of 5 or 6 people to determine what they think my reasons for getting on my soapbox are.  Here are some of the real life responses and my comments on each:

RESPONSE:  "You are absolutely against irresponsible parents.  You know, the ones who never seem to put the child's needs before their own.  The ones who have no regard for the fact that they are raising a KID, but this KID will eventually grow up to be an ADULT that the rest of the world will have to deal with."

COMMENTS:  This couldn't be more true.  I am, for the most part, tolerant of all parenting styles, schools, etc.  And PLEASE KNOW THIS:  I do NOT think that parents do not LOVE their children.  That isn't the issue.  Where I take issue is when parents, (very young parents, more often than not...but not always) seem to think that the child they are raising in a sense ASKED to be born...like the child is an inconvenience and just another responsibility that they cannot handle.  We all have our moments.  I know I had a moment, in a very heated battle with bathtime, when I just had to walk away and breathe.  We ALL think our kids are being jerks sometimes.  But it is as simple as this:  parents are not just there to love their kids...parents are THE FIRST TEACHERS A KID HAS.  Some parents don't realize that before deciding (or not deciding) to have a child and some parents don't take this seriously even after it becomes apparent to them that the child DOES rely on the parents to learn things.  So my message to those parents who think their children are inconvenient and "just another mouth to feed" is this:  You made a decision (whether you chose to be pregnant or not...having a baby is a decision for the vast majority of us) to have a child.  Take that decision seriously.  You are not only raising a little baby/toddler/teenager.  You are raising a PERSON.  A HUMAN.  One that will inevitably have to live in this world on his/her own one day.  Make sure that HUMAN is prepared as well as loved.


RESPONSE:  "You are always tell people to be the bigger person.  You ALWAYS say that."

COMMENTS:  This is also true.  My thought on this is that once you resort to childish name calling and insults, you lose any higher ground that you may or may not have had.  I try very hard to raise myself above the ignorance of this sort of thing.  The best revenge is to live a good and happy life.  That's my philosophy there.


RESPONSE:  "You're always telling people to not be assholes."  "You're against assholiness." (The second one is in response to the first one, but it made me laugh so I included it. You're welcome.)

COMMENTS:  This is also true.  In 99.9% of the experiences in my life in which I've been mean, I've regretted it.  To clarify:  honesty and meanness are different in my world.  There is a way to be honest and to not be mean.  It's called tact and many people should learn about it.  In my opinion, there is NO reason to be a giant jerk in the majority of our experiences in life.  Remember:  You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.  Oh...and also, this BIG one:  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Don't want people to be assholes to ya?  Then stop BEING an asshole.


RESPONSE:  "Hmm...It bothers you when people tell their own opinions without being open to hear others."

COMMENTS:  Bingo again!!  Closemindedness will the the death of us all!!!  And it sort of goes back to the Golden Rule here.  Sort of.  Why in the world would you think people will listen to your opinions on politics, religion, marriage, parenting, etc. if you are 100% COMPLETELY UNWILLING to listen to anyone other than yourself?!?  It baffles me blind.  Seriously. 


RESPONSE:  "I wouldnt say you preach to people about anything really. But opinions on say 'common sense' (be it from money, actions, driving) or people who give advice that obviously should not be giving such advice, or maybe something that should be very easy when you think of it but is definitely not - Communication."

COMMENTS:  All of that is true.  Common sense?  These days, common sense should be classified as a super power.  Here's a newsflash:  WE ALL HAVE BRAINS IN OUR HEADS.  There are some things that we all should know regardless of our place on the social ladder, the corporate ladder, in the world in general and all above and beyond how we were raised.  I am reading the BFG by Roald Dahl to Jayna right now.  She loves it.  There is some great social commentary in there no matter how old you are.  We are to the part in the book where the BFG relays to Sophie that humans are the only animal who kills its own.  While that isn't true in all cases, it is for the most part true.  We kill one another for NO known reason.  Animals may kill one another of the same species for reasons such as protection or territory.  But humans are the only animal who kills its own for seemingly no good logical reason.  Of course, that's a very BIG example in this world.  There are several other common sense issues that are much smaller and affect more of us than murder. 

Unsolicited advice is one of my pet peeves.  Who remembers the Sam's Club lady?  THAT is called unsolicited advice.  And unsolicited passive aggressive advice at that.  I try to only give advice when asked.  I do occasionally offer a kind-hearted gesture to my close friends when they're struggling and seem to be needing help.  I do NOT smother them with what I think to be the best way to do things.  And if they tell me to back off or that they don't need me, I let it be.  That's where so many people go wrong these days I think.  No one knows how to leave well enough alone.  I only offer what I know.  And I never do it to strangers.  Unless they ask, of course.  Why, just the other day, I helped a very nice older teacher lady choose a cardigan sweater.  She thanked me and we went about our business. :)

And a big one:  COMMUNICATION.  Good communication can generally solve the world's problems. :)  I can say that most friends I've lost and most failed relationships have been due to a lack of communication.  When Chris and I get into a disagreement, it most often is a lack of communication.  When someone I know stops all communication suddenly, I know something is wrong.  Communication is GOOD.  Tell people what you're feeling.  Let them help.  Have a back and forth and learn from one another.  This binds us together as a society.  I learned on the radio yesterday that because of technology, the art of conversation is at risk.  That bugs the shit out of me.  There is nothing better or more refreshing than a good face to face conversation with a good friend.  I probably preach this more than any others.  Because it is so very important for our society and for our mental health and for our sense of comraderie. 


So, there ya go.  I got all preachy on y'all.  And while there are a whopping 5 different responses up there, I think that most of you would agree with me when I say that they're all related.  In my opinion, all of the things I preach SHOULD be common sense.  We should all know these things.  I think most of us do, but actions and knowledge are very often different.  I preach teaching your kids, using your brain, listening to others and being nice to your fellow man, dog, fish, etc.  Be nice.  Nobody likes an asshole.

Now go visit the other ToT ladies (although many are on hiatus) and see what they climb up on that soapbox for.  Happy reading!