Worry Worry Worry, Part Deux...

And again, good grief. This is a message post...and a ballsy move for me. This could potentially end a long friendship, but it needs to be said. I don't even know if this person reads my blog regularly, but I guess we'll see. You know who you are.

Dear Friend,

I know you talked to husband about the conversation I had with him, even if it was briefly. I don't know exactly what he told you, but I'd bet that something or other has been misconstrued...as it most times is when he said/she said happens.

I am not mad at you, per se. I'm not mad at you for what you did. I feel bad for husband. I feel bad for you. And I feel bad for children. I wish that things could be worked out, but I don't live there and I don't know exactly what has happened. And according to both parties, things will never be worked out. And that's understandable.

What I do know is that you lied to me. Omission is lying in my mind. Conveniently leaving things out that are vital parts of the story isn't cool. That upset me. Not because of what really happened, but because you lied to me. I thought we were better friends than that. It's taken me awhile to come to terms with that. I know we don't talk as much as we should. I know you're busy. And so am I. But it seems that our relationship is so damn one-sided. And it upsets me.

I realize that the last thing you need is for someone else to be pissed and unload on you. I understand that my feelings are probably the least of your worries at this point. And I understand if you yourself are a little upset with me for talking to husband. But remember, I am neutral. I told him the same basic things that I told you. That I empathize with you (and I also empathize with him) and that if you two are going to end it, JUST DO IT! I understand that it isn't that easy, but you aren't doing anyone any favors by delaying things.

I am trying desperately to look past the omissions and take what you've told me as a cry for help. You wanted to tell me. You wanted to let me in. You just didn't want to let me in all the way. Again, understandable. But things like this really weigh in on the trust factor.

I do hope that you aren't angry...with me, atleast. I am trying my damnedest to stay neutral. I'd like to not lose friends over this. I can see that this will be difficult to say the least. I just think we need to talk face-to-face. We should arrange that.

I'm worried about you. I worry about you constantly. I worry about husband and kids. I worry that something crazy is going to happen. And when you shut me out I worry even more. And the day may eventually come when I have to stop worrying for my own sanity. I love you girl, but you make me crazy. I'm here. That's all I can do...be here. It's up to you from there. I will not continue to drag things out of you. You're just going to have to let me in...and trust me.