Reflections on 2009

1. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make New Year's resolutions.  They ALWAYS end in disappointment and God knows I don't need that in my life.  My ONE WORD for 2010 is "breathe."  I want to stop and breathe and enjoy things more...even if it means doing less.  When my time is stretched so thin and I'm constantly worrying about the balance between what I MUST do, what I NEED to do and what I WANT to do, I can't enjoy anything.  I will slow down and breathe in 2010.
2. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
I still have a job and a positive cash flow.  I know too many people who are close to me who have either lost their jobs or who have had their hours cut back to almost nothing.  I am thankful that my family hasn't fallen on hard times.
3. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Raising a child.  While I enjoy doing this, it is very challenging at times...especially since Jayna can't fully communicate with me.  She has thrown me curveball after curveball and I've struggled.  And I'm sure the worst is yet to come.
4. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
I've become much closer with some of my girlfriends than I ever thought I would and I've reconnected with some other great friends.  I now rely on them to help keep me sane!  Thanks girls!
5. What was an unexpected obstacle?
Jayna having to have tubes put in her ears.  While it was a rather quick and painless procedure, it is still a daunting experience to have your child have surgery.  And now we're paying the bills...another obstacle.
6. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Played softball, joined a fantasy football league and began experimenting with cake decorating and fondant.  I've enjoyed doing some new things and I will continue to do new things in 2010.
7. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

The will power to lose weight and exercise more.  "Nuff said.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Putting myself "out there."  I've faced some pretty significant fears and anxieties by playing a sport that I've never played before and joining a fantasy football league that forced me to learn about football and strategy.  I've also regained some friends by not shutting them out like I sooo wanted to.  I've learned that people are actually pretty forgiving (or they have a difficult time remembering things...ha).  I've admitted that I can't handle things on my own thus making me a stronger person (not weaker like I originally thought).  I am no longer ashamed or afraid to ask for help when I need it.  I've grown alot in the past year.
9. What was your biggest failure?

Probably being so concerned about the fundamentals of raising a child that I forgot to enjoy the little things.  I was so caught up in being a good role model and teaching Jayna how to be a functional member of society that I forgot that sometimes having ice cream for dinner is okay.  After all, I can only be a drill sergeant 4 or 5 days out of the week.  Drill sergeants need a break too. :)  I've learned that I will probably not screw up my kid as bad as I think I will.
10. Did anyone close to you give birth?

So many to name!  Kelly had Stella, Amanda had Brianna, Holly had Kaesyn, Leah had Caleb, Michelle had Mia.  Sorry if I forgot anyone!  My memory is failing!
11. Did anyone close to you die?

I wouldn't say they were close to me, but a close childhood friend of mine lost both her stepdad and her sister in 2009.  I was very close with the entire family when we were all younger, but I'd lost contact with them over the years.  Their deaths have affected me more than I could have ever imagined.  My friend is in my thoughts everyday.
12. What states/countries did you visit?

Sadly, I only left Indiana once and it was only to go to Kentucky to visit friends.  So sad!  I hope to do more traveling in the near future.
13. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

On February 11, I decided to stop breastfeeding Jayna.  It was a difficult decision for me.
On March 14, Jayna had her very first overnighter with Nana.
In late March, Jayna got RSV and had to have breathing treatments for 3 weeks.
On May 28, I had my last birthday...29.  Anniversaries from now on!
On July 3, my mom turned 50.  It was rather difficult for her.
On August 21, Jayna turned 1.
On August 27, Jayna had surgery.
In October we learned that Morgan had cancer.
In September I learned that a friend's father had cancer.
In November I learned that another friend's father had cancer.
In November I learned that my friend who had recently had her baby was rushed to the hospital and almost died.
On December 29, I learned that my friend's sister had passed away.
On December 31, Chris turned 30.
14. How did you spend Christmas?

  On Christmas Eve, we had a get-together at our house and built graham cracker "gingerbread" houses.  We had a blast!  On Christmas day, we went to Chris' parent's house in the morning and then to my parent's house in the evening. 
15. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 29 in 2009.  I went out to dinner with Chris and drank entirely too much.  And Chris took me shopping for an entire day.
16. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I hurt my ankle playing softball which resulted in a shot of cortisone and x-rays.  I was told that I will probably have arthritis early in life and that my ortho surgeon was a quack.
17. What was the best thing you bought?

My point and shoot camera-a Canon Powershot SD790.  For the money it's the best point and shoot camera out there...and I've gotten my mom, sister-in-law and aunt to buy one also!  It takes great photos in almost any lighting and under most conditions with almost no work.  And now that I have a quick subject, I don't have time for manual settings!
18. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Chris and Jayna.  Jayna is just an awesome kid.  Sleeps well.  Eats well most of the time.  Is fairly well-behaved...we all have our moments.  She is smart and polite (well, as polite as a baby can be) and loves doing new things and meeting new people.  Chris is my bestest friend.  He has been incredibly patient with me as I search for who I am and is helpful in everyway he can be.  I love him more than ice cream.
19. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Some of my family members, but we won't go into that.
20. Where did most of your money go?

Where does the money of most adults go??  TO BILLS!!!  A mortgage, lights, water, cable, phone.  Oh yeah...and a baby.  Formula, doctors, milk, food, diapers...it never ends!!
21. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being closer to my friends.  I feel that I've been lacking close personal relationships for awhile now.  I'm glad I'm closer with my friends.
22. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 

Definitely happier.  2009 was a rough year!
b) thinner or fatter?
Fatter.  Maybe 5 or 6 pounds fatter.
c) richer or poorer?

Actually, we are about the same!  I'm not sure how we aren't poorer this year.  I'll have to double-check my math!!
23. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
I became less concerned (but in a good way) and about what other people think of my parenting and I'm WAY LESS HARD ON MYSELF ABOUT BEING A MOM.  Again, sometimes it's okay to have ice cream for dinner and jump on the bed!!
24. In what way(s) did you grow:
emotionally?
I've learned that people make mistakes.  People aren't perfect and sometimes need help, including myself.  I can now admit that I don't always have things under control.
spiritually?
Having a child forced me to grow spiritually.  Once you see the miracle of having child and watching her grow and blossom, you have to be more spiritual.  That's just how it is.
physically?
My body is just now settling on how it wants to look after having a child and breastfeeding.  My weight is shifting around to different areas and it's become a guessing game of where it will permanently end up!! :)
25. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I've learned to be less harsh with people when need be and more harsh with others when need be.  I've learned to stop letting certain people walk on me and to open up to others.  I call people now!!  Crazy!
26. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
Chris and I became closer as the year went on.  Having a kid is tough on a marriage.  My friends who I've shared motherhood with.  Without them I'd be lost!! 
27. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Yep.  I love my family more everyday.
28. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don't hate people.  It takes way too much energy that could otherwise be used for positive things.
29. Who did you miss?

My scrapbooking group!  Mom, Mary and Summer.  We need to get back to it, girls!!
30. Who was the best new person you met?

I haven't really "met" any new people this year, but I've enjoyed becoming closer to some friends...Laura, Michelle Q. and Leah.  It's sort of like I'm getting to know them all over again!
31. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?
I love to rearrange and do neat things in Jayna's room.  She loves new things.
32. What was your most challenging area of home management?
Simply not having enough space.  It's like a dollhouse in there!!
33. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Facebook and WordPop...hands down.
34. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Chris and Jayna and I did alot of family things this year.  We went to the lake with his parents and to the zoo with my mom and brother and family.  We went to the pumpkin patch and zooboo with my mom and family.  We spent lots of time with our families and I'm glad for that.  If anything, I want Jayna to have close relationships with her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, etc.
35. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Scrapbooking.  Reading.  And playing outside with my dogs!
36. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.  And not trusting my instincts.  And eating.
37. What was the best book you read?

Although I am in what we call a "book club," the only books I actually read are kid's books.  So I'll have to go with Oh, The Places You'll Go! and Not A Box.  Oh, The Places You'll Go! is acutally an outstanding book with very real commentary on life and such.  I suggest that everyone on the planet go buy it and read it.  I'll wait...
38. What was your favorite TV program?

The Cleaner and United States of Tara.  Too bad The Cleaner got cancelled.  That was a sad day in our household. 
39. What was your favorite film of this year?

Burn After Reading.  I do realize that this was released in 2008, but I'm pretty slow on movies.
40. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Dave Grohl.
41. What did you want and get?

A kid who doesn't get ear infections when the wind blows.
42. What did you want and not get?

A new house.
43. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More money. :)
44. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Non-existent.  Mishmash.  Comfortable.  I have a young child and I wear what is on sale or what I already have.  And I work in a dirty warehouse, so wearing fashionable clothes is sort of out of the question at work.
45. What kept you sane?

Beer. 
46. What political issue stirred you the most?

The fact that President Obama had failed in the eyes of many before he even took office.
47. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Listen to your instincts...and then learn how to trust them.  And that I don't have to be Superwoman/Supermom...it's unrealistic.
48. What song will always remind you of 2009?

The Fixer by Pearl Jam.
Wheels by Foo Fighters.
The Elmo's World intro song.
The Name Game Song.
49. How did you ring in the New Year?
We went out to dinner with my parents and then went home to have drinks...just Chris and I.  Chris turned 30.  We were in bed before midnight.  Boooooring.  :)
50. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
When something's broke, I wanna put a bit of fixin' on it.
When something's bored, I wanna put a little excitin' on it.
When something's low, I wanna put a little high on it.
When something's lost, I wanna fight to get it back again.

I chose that song because I feel like I really began to work on "fixing" my life in 2009.  It started out rough and got worse.  Then I had a breakdown or two and decided that things needed changing.  I was lost and I'm fighting to get myself back again.