Well Played Wednesday: Tell It Like It Is

Yesterday after work, Jayna and I went to Sam's Club.  We love it there...all the time except for yesterday.  I had 3 or 4 bad experiences (including a photo employee telling me that if my archive photo cd's didn't work that I was "out of luck because there were no photo refunds," an employee acting like me asking where tortillas were equalled me asking her the meaning of effing life and a cart boy telling me that I couldn't put my cart in the cart corral because he just emptied it) there in ONE day and that made for a short tempered checkout experience.

Jayna sometimes sits in the basket part of the cart.  She is a well behaved child and stays on her bottom.  If she moves from her bottom ONE TIME, she knows that she will have to move to the front of the cart.  Yesterday she sat in the basket the entire trip and never moved from her bottom.  She was an angel!!

As we were standing in the check out line a woman got in line behind us.  She was seemingly Pentecostal...with the long jean skirt and her hair in a very tall, crunchy-hairsprayed bun and some tall feathered '90s bangs.  (That last statement was purely for identification and description purposes.  I have absolutely nothing against the Pentecostal religion or any of their practices.)  She was seemingly in her late 50s or early 60s.  She began innocently playing with Jayna.  I didn't care.  I was happy that she was being entertained as the person 2 carts in front of us was BUYING ONE OF EVERYTHING IN THE EFFING STORE and it was taking forever.  About 3 minutes later, the following is the conversation that ensued:

Lady:  "You're such a sweet little thing, but I can't believe that your mommy lets you sit in the basket...it's SO dangerous."

Me:  "I'm RIGHT here next to her.  She's fine.  She hasn't moved from her bottom the whole trip.  I don't need any parenting advice."

Lady:  "Well, honey, she could just fall right out of there-"

Me:  (cutting her off)  "Do you have any kids?"

Lady:  "Excuse me?"

Me:  "Do YOU HAVE KIDS??"  (this drew a wide eye and a listening ear from the lady in front of me who had kids and was about my same age...and had a seemingly similar parenting style)

Lady:  "Oh, honey, they're grown...probably your age or older."

Me:  "Then you haven't been the parent of a toddler in a LONG TIME.  I DON'T NEED ANY PARENTING ADVICE.  Look around, my kid is an angel compared to most of the kids here."

Lady:  "Well, okay.  I just-"

Jayna:  (cutting Lady off and pointing to her head)  "HAVE SILLY HAIR!!"  (and then Jayna laughed hysterically)

At this point I made eye contact with the lady in front of me who was listening and I'm just sure was going to come to my rescue at anytime and we LAUGHED LIKE WE WERE 5 YEARS OLD. 

Well played, Jayna.  Well played.

I have never told my kid what "silly hair" looks like.  She came up with that all on her own.  The funniest thing was that her hair wasn't all that bad.  A little dated for my taste, but it wasn't in a mohawk or anything.  I did end up telling Jayna that it wasn't nice to tell people things like that and that, but I didin't make her apologize.  She's a kid...she honestly didn't mean any harm.  I'm positive that the woman never wanted to see us again anyway.