Workin' for a Livin'

Dudes!!!  Hey!!  I am indeed alive and well...and missing you. 

I have officially missed 4 Together on Tuesday topics.  But I'm not here to write one of those.  I'm here because...well, I sort of got lost. 

I lost what was important in life.  I lost my reasons for blogging.  I lost...I just got lost. That is all.

I don't talk about my job here.  Ever.  Okay, okay...occasionally I'll admit that I hate it (read: frustrated, I don't really hate it) and that I do have downtime.  That downtime is becoming more and more precious.  Soon, it will be non-existent, I'm sure.  So I don't really talk about work, but I'm going to focus on that for a moment.

I've been going through some changes at work and it had actually started to bleed over into my personal life...until last week.  I finished up a giant project last Tuesday evening.  And now that the actual WORK itself isn't bleeding over, the stress and unknown factors of the future and the excitement (?) and the anxiety is still doing just that...TAKING OVER MY PERSONAL LIFE.

I know this happens to many of you all often.  It does NOT, however, happen to me.  But things are changing and I must step up to the plate and accept, embrace and move along with these changes.  Within all of this, I am now training a new person to take my position...for when I take my mom's position...when she retires in 18 months.  That SOUNDS like a long time.  It isn't.  Trust me, friends.  I wear many different hats around there, as does she, and it will take all of 18 months to show and teach someone everything I do. 

So, in the figurative sense, I'm moving up.  But in the literal sense, I'm moving OVER.  I already know most of what my mom does.  And although I've sort of carved out and created my own position here, I have kept up with most things she does throughout my years here.  I am learning the things I don't know and refreshing my mind of the things I do know, but don't do often.  It's been a learning curve for me (because I'm learning new things AND teaching someone my job), for mom (because she has to teach me things), and for our newest victim assistant (because she's learning a hell of a lot of things already).

And I'll admit to y'all RIGHTNOW:  I'm anxious.  I'd even go so far as to say that I'm...gulp...SCARED. 

This will be a giant move for me in the area of responsibility.  Most things won't really change as far as what I do on a daily basis, but her job encompasses more responsibility than I've ever had in my entire life.  I won't have the "assistant" role anymore.  I won't be able to pass the phone to her when I don't know the answer.  I will be the one responsible for those answers.  And I'm am VERY slowly coming to terms with that.

Much to my surprise, this reality has taken it's toll on my mental capacities.  I haven't had much time to sit down and THINK of things to write.  I like to take my time at formulating blog entries.  I haven't even really had time to return emails or Facebook messages.  I keep up with the people and things that force me (and believe me, I AM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT), but the people and things that don't have very unfortunately gotten pushed to the side.  And trust me when I say that I feel horrible about that.

You can't blame a sister for getting lost though, can you?

I'll be back soon with several more updates.  Hell,  my only child turned 4 over 2 months ago and I haven't blogged about it.  After I write what I feel needs to be written about my life itself, I'll get back on the ToT wagon.  I DO plan on making up my 4 missed entries.  Because I'm awesome. :)

And I'll leave you with this:

Ollie in a Brave wig.

Deuce (my mom's dog) in eyeball glasses.

 

That's what we do for laughs, y'all. :)

 

 

ToT: When Life's in the Crapper...

TOPIC:
List 30 things that you take for granted that you have gratitude for-you can elaborate as much or as little on each item.


So I know the topic says "List..." which is usually right up my alley, but I have some things to get off my chest first.

I haven't been blogging lately because it seems way too trivial.  Trivial in the sense that my focus has needed to be elsewhere. 

Dudes...my friends' lives are in the crapper. 

I don't really want to elaborate because I don't want to, you know, air all of my friends' dirty laundry on my blog.  That just ain't kosher.

Numerous divorces.  Custody battles.  Financial struggles.  Medical problems.  Medical problems of my friends' close family members.  Lost jobs.  Lots of tears.  Lots of stress.  And LOTS of me sitting around trying to figure out how to help.

The truth is that short of just being a good listening ear, giver of sound advice, shoulder to cry on, sounding board to vent to or an outstanding drinking buddy, I can't help.  And...it's killing me.

I blame it on my motherly instinct.  It is well known that I don't really like...people.  I like CERTAIN people.  And when someone becomes a CERTAIN person, they then have to deal with all this crazy I have up in my brain.  And when any or all of those CERTAIN people are hurting, I just want to take away the hurt.  Just take it for myself.  Just as I want to take away all Jayna's hurt.  I would've gladly gone under the knife for eye surgery for her.  I'd gladly go across the monkey bars for her since she is having such a hard time with it.  I'd GLADLY take away the pain of those CERTAIN people if it put a smile on their faces and a little hope into their hearts.

Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.  We are shaped by our experiences.  Our experiences teach us how to act, how to live, how to survive.  And I can't survive for these people.  They must continue to be functioning members of society on their own.  But it still hurts my heart to see them go through these things.

And as I sit and watch my friends lives go down the crapper and the world crumble around me, I have MUCH to be grateful for:

1. I have the greatest husband that ever lived:  supportive, loving, a GREAT father to Jayna, a good provider, and my bestest friend for all eternity.  Although I've recently seen other outstanding husbands in action lately (read: Mark), I still attest that Chris is just the best person that I could've ever teamed up with.  That's what we are, you know.  A team.  To us, that's what a marriage is.  Sure, we disagree.  We get mad.  And then we communicate.  And then we hug.  And then we make fun of each other.  That's how we do.
2. I am somehow managing to help raise the kindest, most polite child ever.  She regularly uses her manners and also compliments me atleast one time a day on something or another.  "Mommy, you look pretty today."  That can very well be the difference between a totally shitty day and an okay day.  I just love her. 
3. I know that, whatever the situation, I can count on my family.  I have some of the best parents there are and I know that I can always count on them.  I am also very grateful that I can now call Chris' parents my family.  They love me and support me in all that I do.  It's nice to know that there is always someone out there who'll have your back come hail or high water.  It's just a great feeling.
4. My job.  Good grief...I've never been more grateful to have a job, no less one that is flexible, pays well and provides me with health insurance.  With so many people suffering from un- or under-employment, I am so very thankful to be employed.
5. My friends.  They are, and have been in the past, my lifelines.  They bring me back to reality when I'm being dramatic.  They help lift me up when I'm down.  The make me smile, make me think and help me work through my issues.  I don't know what I'd do without you all.
6. Wine.  I'm really thankful for wine. :)
7. The ability to provide opportunities for Jayna.  Whether it is being able to afford these things or simply taking the time to do things with her, I'm grateful that Chris and I are dedicated to this.
8. Rain.  Never before have I spent so many days wishing it would just rain.  I feel for the farmers whose crops have suffered because of the drought.  Hopefully the mild fall weather will save atleast some of them.
9. Technology.  I wouldn't have the ability to communicate with some people without all of the ways we have today.  I am grateful that I can email, Facebook, text and/or call all of the people I care about near or far.
10. Oliver.  He is the comic relief in my life.  He is also very annoying at times, what with his weird catlike behavior.  Nonetheless, he makes me laugh and gives me snuggles when I need them.
11. Shelter.  Yes, shelter.  I've spent countless hours HATING my house.  It's too small.  Too cramped.  Not in the school district I want.  I don't have a pantry.  Or a master bath.  Or a laundry room.  But here's the thing, y'all:  I HAVE A HOUSE.  A house that I can afford that isn't in a bad neighborhood.  And I am thankful that I don't have to live in my car.
12. Peanut butter.  I love me some peanut butter.
13. Freedom.  Plain and simple. 
14. Painting.  Painting provides an outlet for me that I never knew.  Scrapbooking didn't do it.  Candlemaking didn't do it.  The numerous other hobbies I had didn't do it.  But painting doesn't serve any other purpose than me putting paint to canvas.  I'm not preserving memories or making something useful in the sense that it has a higher purpose.  It is art for art's sake.  And I love it.  Now to find more time to do it.
15. Jayna's preschool.  We chose her preschool based on 3 factors:  it is close to our house (less than a mile), it was in our price range and when we met the 2 women who owned it, I loved them.  That's...it.  We didn't choose it based on academics (they opened 2 months before Jayna started, so we had no idea).  We didn't choose it based on how many kids went there (7 at first).  And we didn't choose it based on popularity (again, just opened).  And despite a few minor setbacks/flaws that have been worked out, it has turned out to be a perfect fit for Jayna.  She is learning at a rate that I didn't think was possible and a large part of that is due to her teachers.  I love them and so does Jayna.
16. A kid who sleeps through the night 99.9% of the time.  Jayna woke me up at 1am because she was having a dream that she thought was real life.  And it has screwed up my whole day.
17. Quick dry nail polish.  Hey...YOU try polishing 10 wiggly fingers and 10 wiggly toes and THEN tell me it won't make your gratitude list.
18. The nice people at CVS.  $35 refund that I didn't think I was going to get?  Yes please!!  Thanks, nice pharmacy lady. :)
19. Lunch hour.  It's fast approaching and I will take full advantage of it today.
20. Weekends.  How else would I have time to sleep in?
21. Zyrtec.  It has pretty much saved my life this summer.
22. My health.  I am very lucky to be so healthy.  I do have some things to work on (exercising more), but all in all, I'm doing well. 
23. Smores.  Man, that's a gooood dessert.
24. Mexican Monday.  Even though it isn't Monday.  Dude, I must be hungry.
25. Sunshine.  I don't always think about it, but I am in a much better mood if the sun is shining.  It can be 10 degrees, but if the sun is shining, the day is better.  I am grateful for all that vitamin D.
26. My doctor.  She must be the most caring doctor there ever was.  She's helped me through so many things it isn't even funny.  She even helped me come to terms with running the Mini last year.  She's an OB/GYN, but I still go to her for everything.  She's the most helpful doctor I've ever had.
27. Our decision to cut the Cable Television Cord.  It has freed up more time and money than we ever though possible.  And we don't even miss it.  Except for baseball games and Monday Night Football. :)
28. The food on my table.  I complain ALL THE TIME about the price of groceries.  But guess what?  I can still afford them.  And sadly enough, that puts me ahead of many Americans.  I am grateful that I am able to provide food for our family.
29. The harmonica.  It's brought so much joy to my life.  I never knew I could do it.  But with Chris' support and prodding, I began and I'm actually pretty good at it. :)
30. Air conditioning.  It was so freakin' hot this summer that we really would've missed it had it not been around.  Some of the houses in my neighborhood don't have central air.  I feel for those of you who don't have it.  I know it isn't a necessity, but it sure is nice.

Writing out all of that really puts things into perspective.  I urge you all to think about what you're grateful for.

What are you all thankful for?  Now use those links to the right!!

ToT: Living Life or Too Busy?

TOPIC:
Read this article:  The Busy Trap.  Are you guilty? Do you have many self-imposed obligations making you too busy to enjoy life? And if you have kids, what about your kids? Do they have activities that keep them busy? Are you okay with being too busy or would you like to let go of some of those self-imposed tasks?


Go ahead...go read it.  You aren't too busy to read about being busy.  Trust me.

I do, however, think it speaks volumes that my entry regarding being "crazy busy" is over a week late.

I also think it is hilarious that we're writing about this topic in one of our "self-imposed obligations."  Blogging is fun, but it is definitely self-imposed for me.  It isn't my job and it isn't necessarily my livelihood.  But I like to do it and I WANT to do it, so I've made the once a week obligation.  And I have failed at it many times.

But that's okay.  If I'm not failing at atleast SOMETHING, I'm not learning anything.  There is a lesson in every experience I have. The lesson here is that if I am going to make obligations for myself, I should probably make sure I can keep up with them. 

Or...and here's the hard part....NOT MAKE SAID OBLIGATIONS.

Interestingly enough, my entry isn't late because I have been "crazy busy."  It's late because I've been making a living AND making a life.  Work and play.  That's what we do.

I've let go of many things.  I've stopped snapping 3 bajillion photos a day in the name of "preserving memories."  I've stopped making plans for every single solitary free second of my life.  I've stopped blogging religiously.  And I am much less of a Facebooker these days, although I'm still there. 

I just need to live.  To experience things.  And DO things.

And I am.

The thing about my family (Chris, Jayna and I) being busy is that we're having the time of our freaking lives while we're being busy!!  We're going to festivals and the zoo and baseball games and museums and seeing our friends and eating ice cream at the park and going on vacation and going to our friends' birthday parties and all sorts of fun things.  All self-imposed?  Yep.  All totally outstanding?  HELL yes.

We had a family gathering with my side of the family a few weeks ago.  My uncle extended an invitation for Chris, Jayna and I to visit him anytime we want.  I said to him, "Well, now that August is almost over, we should be less busy with things."  He looked straight at me and said, "You've been married for 10 years and since then I've never known you to be NOT busy."

He's right.

I LOVE to be busy. 

To tell the truth, I probably have some sort of ADD problem.  I can't sit still.  If I have to sit still for a long period of time, I get fidgety and I bite my nails.  I shake my leg.  I tap on things.  I just can't sit still (I'm shaking my leg RIGHTNOW).  I like for my hands to be busy and my mind to be engaged.  And those things lead to...busy.

As far as obligations, that's something I have to work on.  I have a difficult time saying no to people.  I love to see my friends even if it means I'm not giving myself any downtime.  I like to help people out.  And I LOVE to provide new and exciting experiences for Jayna.  I have a hard time passing things up to just sit at home.

This does seem to take some of the spontaneity out of life.  It is rare that someone can call me on Thursday and ask me to do something on Friday night.  Chances are I've already planned something. 

I do not, however, make too many obligations for Jayna.  She has ONE activity:  tumbling.  If she decides when she's a little older that she wants to do more things, we'll talk.  But I want her to have time to focus on things.  I don't want her to feel like she has to fill up her time just to be filling it up.  Obligations will come as she ages.  To me, it is important to just let her be a kid.

Jayna LOVES to stay home and play.  We try very hard to provide almost one full day of every weekend for her to do that (while we keep busy with home/art projects or chores).  She's a kid who needs downtime and alone time.  She likes to go in her room, close the door and let her imagination run wild.  ALL BY HERSELF.  We'd never do ANYTHING to screw with that.  I never want her to think we were responsible for stifling her imagination or creativity in any way, shape or form. 

So...have we fallen victim to the Busy Trap?  I don't know.  We definitely live a full life.  We could probably use more downtime.  But we definitely just don't want to sit around and watch television all day.

Now go check out the links to the right for the other ladies' opinions. Or...are you too busy? :)

ToT: Abe Lincoln, 4-Way Stops and Violent Hugs

Topic:
For something fun, lets write about the olympics. If you could participate in any olympic event, what would it be, and why? Is there anything that really irks you about the Olympics? Do you watch them, if so why, and if not, then why not? What is your least favorite olympic event and why? If you saw the opening ceremonies what did you think?

Okay.  So...

Umm...geez. 

As it turns out, I don't really have any strong feelings about the Olympics.  I do, however, have my own comments and/or observations about some things that I saw/heard/read/etc.

This will be list form because that is how my brain is working right now.  It is mush.  Planning parties is so great and so irritating at the same time.  Seriously. 

• If I could be an Olympian, I'd probably do something that I could half ass.  Let's be honest here, people.  I can hold my own when it comes to most backyard sports.  Even though I CAN run, I'm slow.  I'm not at ALL graceful like the gymnasts or the divers.  I really hate sand in my undies, so I wouldn't even THINK of volleyball.  And I look like an idiot in a swim cap, so that's out too.  Is darts an Olympic sport?  If not, it should be.  I'll kill you in darts.  Except then the Olympic committee people would have to allow beer drinking because it is a proven fact that people get better at darts and pool when they are drinking.
• You know something that should be an Olympic sport?  THE FRACKIN' FOUR-WAY STOP BY MY HOUSE.  It is NOT rocket science, people.  Yes, there are railroad tracks involved.  Yes, it gets busy sometimes.  But THE GENERAL RULES OF FOUR-WAY STOPS STILL APPLY.  And if you can get through that stop sign without cursing with a copycat 4-year-old in the backseat, getting run off the road, getting cut in line or getting hit by a train, you DESERVE a medal. 
• Chris and I were in the bar at Scotty's the night of the opening ceremonies.  The ENTIRE bar collectively agreed that it was weird.  And around 75% of us agreed that the dudes in the stovepipe hats were really supposed to be 50 Abraham Lincolns.  That being said, we all loved the James Bond scene and it brought us all closer together as a...bar?  Anyhoo, weird.  And that's my final answer.
• I think Ryan Lochte is a douche.  There, I said it.  Yes, he may be hot.  Yes, he may be good at swimming.  Yes, he is worth lots of money.  But he seems to be slightly full of himself (moreso than other humble Olympic athletes) and the fact that he even thought FOR ONE SINGLE SECOND that it was acceptable to receive a medal with a grill in his mouth, American flag or not, proves just a little bit that I am right.  Did you know he has a pair of shoes that were custom made and on the bottom of one, it says Ryan and the bottom of the other says Lochte?  You know why?  So when the bottom of his shoes get wet and then he walks on dry pavement, the ground SAYS HIS DAMN NAME.  Sounds like a good way for stalkers to find you if you ask me.
• People should shut the bleepity bleep up regarding Gabby's hair.  The end.  This is why I don't go near Twitter.  There are a bunch of lunatics and jerks over there.
• The synchronized diving was AMAZING!!!  I totally lost my mind over that.  I did, however, seem to become a legitimate judge after watching about 4 dives.  I yelled at the television.  I told the judges they were wrong.  THAT WAS RIGGED, I screamed.  It's crazy how passionate I was about who was winning.  Seriously.
• At one point in time I saw a clip of the USA women's volleyball duo (go ahead and call me unAmerican for not remembering their names...I have a life, jokers) hugging after they won.  I had just glanced at the screen and I thought women's wrestling was on.  THAT'S HOW VIOLENTLY THEY WERE HUGGING.  I wasn't sure if they won or if they lost and were in a major catfight right there in the sand.

So there y'all go.  Those are my thoughts regarding the 2012 Summer Olympics.  Interesting, huh?

Now use the links to the right and visit our other ToT-ers!!!

ToT: I was 16 once.

Topic:
Write a letter to your 16-year-old self. Reflect on the life you had at 16, what you would change and what you did right.


Dear D@16:

That's the code name I've given to you so I don't have to type out "Danielle at 16 years old" everytime I refer to you.  I'm writing to you from the future because I just got a new flux capacitor.  That future just happens to be double your age...the year 2012.  And in that 16 extra years?  Wow.  That's all I got.

You don't have it so bad, you know.  You have a job and that is GREAT.  Get used to that.  Jobs don't go away.  And eventually one job will turn into a career.  Eventually.  And you won't even really see it coming.

The money you make from your job now just buys you stupid junk.  Remember your pre-ordered from Blockbuster Video VHS copy of Jerry Maquire?  Yeah...that kind of stupid junk.  What you don't know is that 1. Blockbuster Video doesn't exist anymore. 2. VHS cassettes don't exist anymore (excepting at yard sales where the current market value is around 5 for a buck). 3.  TOM CRUISE IS A LUNATIC.  (And on that note, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?  There are WAY better celebrities to be obsessed with.)

Eventually, in about 4 years actually, your money from your job (at Mr. D's) will go to what we'll call essential things.  You know...the ROOF over your head.  The FOOD you eat.  The ELECTRICITY that allows you to cook the food and watch the moderately priced cable television package you can afford.  And trust me on this one:  in 16 more years, "moderately priced cable television package" will be an oxymoron.

Having a job is something you're doing RIGHT.  Keep the work ethic.  You'll need it.  Trust me.  Also?  Your education.  That's another giant thing you're doing RIGHT.  Keep your nose to the grindstone and don't give up. 

It isn't so bad...the journey on which you will embark.  You'll meet the man of your...dreams...I guess?  I say it that way because you already know him.  But right now the 2 of you don't even give each other the time of day.  He's the weirdo in the giant pants with the chains and you're the goody-2-shoes who never breaks the rules.  Well, atleast never breaks the rules and gets caught. :)

So you'll meet him, get a dog who changes your life forever, get another dog who changes your life forever, lose 2 dogs who changed your life forever and then get another one who is a crazy animal who eventually becomes a dog who changes your life forever.

And somewhere in there?  You'll do 2 things you said you'd never do.  You'll get married.  And you'll have a baby.

Oh how things change.  Compared to who you are in 2012, you as D@16 are a very close-minded person.  You already seem to be set in your ways about things and are very unforgiving and harsh.  NEWSFLASH:  that doesn't get you very far in life.  Especially in human relationships. 

So get over yourself.  Seriously.  Grow the F#&*@ up!!!  You're 16! 

You have done and will do several more things WRONG.  It's called life.  Some are pretty rough lessons, but you'll have support all the way through it.  Family, friends, your spouse, your pets and your child. 

If I had to list your biggest weakness, D@16, I'd say that it is your inability to forgive and/or your fear of changing your mind about things.  It's ABSOLUTELY OKAY to change your mind.  It's okay to forgive people for doing who-even-remembers-what.  Some of your bestest friends in the future will be those you've forgiven and those who've forgiven you.  Forgiveness is a strong force.  Use the force, D@16.  Use it. (You don't know how hilarious that is because you don't like Star Wars.  You won't like that for almost 10 more years.  Another weakness...)

Your biggest strength is your thirst for knowledge.  You'll still have that in 2012.  You'll have it to an even greater degree, though, because you'll be learning new things yourself and you'll be teaching a 4-year-old new things too. 

And the one thing I want to say to you and make sure you know is this:   90% of the bullshit that is important to you RIGHTNOWINYOURTINYLIFE will mean absolutely nothing in 2012.  Hell, most of it you won't even remember.  All those "friends?"  Well, when you reach the ripe old age of 32, you'll KNOW who your friends are.  No questions about it.  And you won't care about the people who aren't.  Those issues you're having?  They don't even compare to some of the ones you'll have in a few years.  Enjoy it.  Enjoy being young.

Hang in there, D@16.  It will be a wild ride.  Valleys and mountains.  Some of those valleys will be dark and deep.  But those giant mountains will more than make up for it.  Remember, a lesson learned the hard way is one that stays with ya.

And I don't say it enough, but I love you.  You're a great person and I'll always have your back.

Love,
D@32

ToT: "Break yo'self, fool."

TOPIC:Pick 3 of your top "guilty pleasure" movies and tell why they are your guilty pleasure.  When did you first see the movie?  How many times do you think you have seen it?  Do you quote the movie and if so, what are the quotes you use?  Why do you love it?  Is there a reason you feel guilty about watching this movie, i.e. bad language, bad humor, girlie, etc.


Back before Christmas last year, my family and I went to see Arthur Christmas.  We didn't just go see Arthur Christmas, we went to see Arthur Christmas in 3D!! 

Little did we know that because of Jayna's eye condition at the time, she...wait for it...COULDN'T SEE IN 3D.  So she basically sat there confused the whole time about why the movie was all blurry.

So, a PSA to all parents of children with exotropia:  THEY CANNOT SEE IN 3D.  DON'T SPEND A GAJILLION DOLLARS ON 3D MOVIE TICKETS BECAUSE IT WILL BE THE MOST EXPENSIVE NAP YOUR CHILD EVER TAKES.

There.  Now I feel better.

My point with all that?  We don't go to the movies very often.  Before seeing Arthur Christmas, the last time we were at a movie theatre was for Pirates of the Carribean:  At World's End.  That was FIVE WHOLE YEARS AGO. 

We don't go for a variety of reasons.  The number one reason is because of the ridiculous amount of money it costs to go to a movie.  After tickets and a modest snack of popcorn and drinks, it's still a good 40 or 50 dollar ordeal.  I'm not down with that.

The other issue is that I can't just sit down and watch a movie.  I'm ALWAYS doing something else when I watch a movie at home.  I remember going to see Arthur Christmas and as I sat there with idle hands, I kept thinking about all of the things I could be doing at home instead of sitting in a movie theatre.

I'm usually checking various things on my phone, crocheting or making lists.  My hands need to be busy.  It makes me feel better that I'm doing more than just sitting and watching television.  This is why I prefer to watch movies in the comfort of my own home.

With all that being said, there are a few movies that I ALWAYS go back to.  Movies that I know all the words to.  Movies that never get old.  Movies that I don't mind my hands being idle.  And here, I have to limit it to 3.  This could get tricky.

Guilty Pleasure Movie #1:  Friday
If you know me, you are not at ALL surprised by this.  I still know most of the words.  I still occasionally listen to the soundtrack.  I still, after all these years, love it.

I first saw this movie my senior year of high school.  I remember seeing it and going to buy it on VHS THAT DAY.  I remember watching it over and over and over and over again in my dorm room with my unsuspecting roommate and friend (Hi, Tiff!!) and my other friends who lived in other dorms. 

I can't even make an educated guess at how many times I've seen this movie.  Maybe 2 million?  No, seriously.

Do I quote this movie?  HA!!  I don't know, do I, friends?  "Hey Craig, let me borrow your VCR right quick."  "Nobody go in there for 35, 45 minutes.  And open a window!!"  "Man, y'all ain't never got 2 things that match!!  You got Kool Aid, no sugar.  Peanut butter, no jelly.  Ham, no burger.  Damn!!"  "Man, what you stealing boxes for?  You tryin' to build a clubhouse?"

I used to love this movie because it was HILARIOUS!!  It is still, in my mind, hilarious.  But I think I love it more now because it reminds me of good friends and good, carefree times.  I feel guilty about watching it because, let's be honest, it's a lifestyle I've never experienced and will never experience.  The subject matter and the language are horrendous.  But if you know me, you know that is never a deal breaker. :)


Guilty Pleasure Movie #2:  13 Going On 30
I can't help it if I love a movie with a good rendition of the Thriller Dance. 

I first saw this movie on Dinner and a Movie on TBS during one of my "I'm not even changing into real clothes from my pajamas" Saturday evenings. I, my friends, am a rock star. :)

I've seen this movie atLEAST 50 times.  We don't have cable anymore, but I used to watch it everytime I was channel surfing and passed by it.  Channel surfing is definitely the one thing I miss about not having cable.  Netflix is great, but you really do have to have a good idea of what you want to watch.

Anyhoo...I digress.

I only quote a few lines from this movie.  "You're rude and mean and sloppy and frizzy.  And I don't like you at all!"  At one point a little girl in an elevator looks at Jenna and says, "I like your dress."  And Jenna responds, "That's because I have these incredible boobs to fill it out!"  That line ALWAYS makes me laugh.

I love this movie because it really does teach a good lesson.  Oh...who am I kidding?!?  I love it for the Thriller rendition and for the Love is a Battlefield scene!!  The movie makes me remember what it felt like to want to be grown up when I was a teenager.  And let me tell you, teenagers, it's not all it's cracked up to be.  But I know you won't listen when I tell you all that.

It's a guilty pleasure movie because, well, IT'S A RIDICULOUS MOVIE and I can't even believe that I'm ADMITTING TO THE WHOLE INTERWEBS that I've seen it ONE time, let alone that I watch it often!!  Don't judge me.  I like a good lighthearted totally impossible love story.


Guilty Pleasure Movie #3:  The Sandlot
I have loved this movie since I saw it in the movie theatre with my aunt and all of my cousins in 1993.  When it came out of VHS, my aunt bought it so we could continue watching it and calling each other scab eater, butt sniffer, pus licker, and fart smeller.  We were classy as children and teenagers.

I have seen this movie about as much as I've seen Friday.  We own it on DVD  now and Jayna even likes to watch it from time to time.  Is it appropriate?  Nope.  And it wasn't appropriate for me either and I'm alive and well and grew up to be a decently respectful girl.  So whatevs, haters.

Do I quote it?  You're killin' me, Smalls!!!  Of course I do!!  I sometimes call my brother a "can't hack it pantywaist who wears his mama's bra."  "And remember, kids, there's heroes and there's legends.  Heroes get remembered, but legends never die."  Words to remember from the Great Bambino.  Oh...and you can't forget, "You play ball like a giiiiiirrrrrllll!!!"  The ultimate insult. :)

How do I love thee, Sandlot? Oh, let me count the ways. No, seriously. I love everything about this movie. The childishness, the lesson, the characters, the plot and the nostalgia of the wonderful game of baseball. I hope Jayna grows up with atleast ONE movie that will remind her of her childhood and her friends and games she played. And, of course, of the "pickles" she gets into as a kid.

It's a guilty pleasure because it's a kid's movie.  And yes, I have a kid now which sort of removes that stigma.  But it's mainly a BOY movie for boys around the age of, say, 8 and older.  I have a 4-year-old little girl.  Who loves it.  I knew I was doing something right.


What are your guilty pleasure movies?  Why?  Now head on over to the other ToT bloggers (who are not behind like I am) and read about their movies.

ToT: Just Another Day

Topic:
A Day in The Life:  What is a typical day in your life?  How do weekdays differ from weekends?  How do you balance out life's "chores" from the betterm more enticing things such as spending time with friends, family, hobbies or recreation?  How do you fit it all in to make sure everything gets done (get up early, stay up late, recruit help from hubby/other family, hire it out, etc.)?  At the end of the day do you go to bed feeling like you accomplished the majority of what needed to be done or do you think of all the things you've had to let roll over to be done another day?

I'm not sure how to really answer all those questions, so I'm going to procrastinate and show you a sweet picture of how I start my days:

Every weekday morning after we have breakfast, Chris leaves for work and Jayna and I have about 10 minutes before we have to brush teeth, brush hair and go to school. 

And every morning after breakfast, without fail, I hear these glorious words:  "Mommy, do we have time to cuddle on the couch?"

You bet we do.  Even if we don't. 

You see, I've come to expect cuddle time on the couch before I come to work.  If I don't get my JBird cuddles before I have to continue onto my "get-rich-slow scheme," I am cranky for the rest of the day.

I know the cuddles won't last forever.  I know my time is limited.  And I know that I should soak in these moments because the day will inevitably come when she is...gulp...TOO OLD FOR CUDDLES.

And to that I say BOOOOO.

I have a difficult time in realizing that these little things are the big things.  Some say it's a personality flaw.  I agree.  I worry too much.  I think too much about the future.  I get frustrated with things I have no control over.  And I don't stop to smell the roses that often. 

It's a sad life I live.

After breakfast JBird cuddles have helped me with that.  If I didn't cuddle with her in the morning, I'd have time to do the dishes.  I'd have time to start a load of laundry.  I'd probably even have time to PUBLISH A FREAKIN' TOGETHER ON TUESDAY ENTRY ON AN ACTUAL TUESDAY.  But I don't really care about dishes.  Or laundry.  And let's face it...there aren't that many of you reading.  If I'm a day late, I figure y'all will forgive me.  Just these 9 times. :)

And now to answer the topic questions FO' REALZ.

What is a typical day in your life?

A typical workday for me is, well...a typical workday.  I get up around 5am, make myself as presentable as I need to be, eat breakfast, cart the kid off to school and go to work.  I work from around 7:45am to 3:30pm.  When I get off work, I will sometimes run a few errands to give Jayna some extra playtime with her schoolmates, or I'll go pick her up and we'll go home to continue the daily grind.  Getting home means taking care of the dog, doing chores, making dinner and playing with Jayna.  After that it's bath and bedtime for Jayna around 8pm.  And THAT'S when the REAL FUN begins!!

Just kidding.

Don't get me wrong...I do love those couple of hours after Jayna goes to bed so that I can do whatever it is I feel like doing.  Last night I did some gardening.  Some nights I watch television.  Some nights Chris and I sit on the back patio and I listen to him play guitar and I sing along to the songs with him.  Some nights we have deep talks about worldly things (read:  work and/or parenting).  Some nights I read.  And some nights I'm snoring on the couch by 8:30pm.

So...that's a typical day.  But right now, things are NOT typical at all.

Right now, Jayna has swimming on Tuesdays, tumbling on Wednesdays, and swimming again on Thursdays.  I spend most of Monday evening making dinner for those 3 nights since there is NO time to do it on the actual night.  And Friday is spent watching movies or going out to dinner.  You know, family time.

We stay busy.  And we like it that way.  For the most part. 

How do weekdays differ from weekends?

A typical weekend?  That doesn't exist. 

The staples are trips to the grocery and Sam's, cleaning the house (sure...), and trying to see Nana M or Nana B.  Those are the things we try to fit in.  But that doesn't always happen.

Yes, we keep up with the daily chores.  The dishes, the laundry, making sure the bathrooms aren't a pit and vacuuming.  Those are things that get done atleast once a week.  Other things like dusting?  We ain't got no time for no dusting.  It gets done when it gets done.  We are way too busy creating memories for ourselves and for our Jayna to be missing out on things because of a little dust.

In June, we have had NO free weekends.  The first weekend was spent at the zoo and at a baseball game.  The second on was spent at a pool party and a father's day barbecue.  The next one will be the Dave Matthew's concert and another baseball game.  And the last one will be our 10th anniversary and a company picnic.  The first weekend of July will be spent at the lake.  The second will be spent in Washington, D.C.  The third?  Maybe we'll get to sleep in or see our long-neglected friends!!!!!

See?  I told you we stay busy.

We love doing all these things.  But it really does interfere with things that NEED to be done.

How do you balance out life's "chores" from the better more enticing things such as spending time with friends, family, hobbies or recreation? How do you fit it all in to make sure everything gets done (get up early, stay up late, recruit help from hubby/other family, hire it out, etc.)? 

We don't balance out.  We do memory making FIRST and chores LATER.  Is this the best policy?  It is for now.  That will change.  Before I had a kid, I would come home every Friday and clean the whole house top to bottom.  That way it would be clean for the weekend.  And now?  Well, for now that isn't going to happen.

Jayna is little.  She is young and she is impressionable and she is soooo dang cute.  She loves to spend time with us and we love providing memory making experiences for her.  She is and forever will be our only child and we will only get one chance at this time in her life.  We have chosen to take advantage of it.

That isn't to say that I don't get frustrated with the clutter in our tiny house and eventually explode into a cleaning frenzy.  It happens.  Not just to me, but to Chris too.

When Chris and I first started living together, I did 100% of the cleaning.  After all, I was the one with less responsibilities and more time on my hands.  Well, that changed along the line and my 100% cleaning responsibility did NOT change.  So he and I had a sit down talk at a bar (probably Yogi's) and I told him very plainly:  I am not, nor will I ever be, a housewife.  I don't make all the messes and I shouldn't be responsible for cleaning all of them up.  He responded in a positive manner and to this day...more than 10 years later...he still does atleast 50% of the household chores.

He and I have a system.  It's called Get It Done.  If the dishes aren't done and Chris is working late, I do the dishes.  If I'm having a swell time playing with Jayna and don't want to stop to vacuum, Chris vacuums.

Actually, Chris vacuums 100% of the time.  I hate it and I refuse to do it.  The end.  I reciprocate by cleaning the toilets 100% of the time.  We'll skip the part where HE cleaned the toilets on Father's Day.  Ahem.

Anyhoo, my point is this:  We don't have set chores.  We just get shit done because it has to be done.  And we are respectful of one another and we understand when one or the other needs to pick up the slack on occasion.

Organized chaos.  That's how we live.

At the end of the day do you go to bed feeling like you accomplished the majority of what needed to be done or do you think of all the things you've had to let roll over to be done another day?

I NEVER go to bed feeling like I accomplished everything that needed to be done.  NEVER.

Does anyone?  Maybe Martha Stewart, but we'll go ahead and be honest when we say that she has people doing lots of things FOR her at this point.

Even when I was single and childless did I ever feel like I accomplished enough in one day.  Never.

Lately though, I've been asking myself different questions at bedtime.  Did I give Jayna enough attention today?  Did we play enough?  Did I ignore her?  Did we make memories?

Those are the important questions at this time in my life.  And I take the answers to those questions VERY seriously.


The long and short of my days are to just ENJOY living.  Yes, there are things that must be done that aren't enjoyable.  But I like to think like my favorite nanny, Mary Poppins:  "In every job that must be done, there's an element of fun."

Dang.  I don't really think like that.  We just rock out to the Disney station on Pandora waaaaayyyyy ttttoooooo mmuuccchhhh. 

But really.  When we clean the house, there is music blaring and we're ALL (Jayna included) singing and dancing along.  We cook meals together.  We do chores together.  Everything is less of a chore when you have a helper. :)

We enjoy life.  After all, that's ultimately why we're here.



Now:  go over to the sidebar on the right and read about the days of the other fine ToT ladies!

ToT: Music To My Ears,

Topic:  How has music influenced your life?  What is your favorite song or artist?  Is there a certain song that inspires or motivates you, or just makes you feel happy, sad, etc.?

Well geez, Louise.  And I thought LAST week's topic was difficult.

Let me start by saying that I had a very lengthy and long-winded post all written yesterday and I couldn't bring myself to hit the PUBLISH button.  I just...couldn't do it.  I wrote it all and linked about 50 bands in it and then I realized that I hadn't answered the questions.  That is actually NOT unusual for me, but then I reread it.  And I realized that I didn't really SAY anything.  I just...blabbed. 

I don't like to blab.  I like to be deliberate in my words even if they are deliberate tangents and deliberate anecdotes.  I don't like to just talk to hear myself talk or write to fill the white space.  After all, I have MUCH to actually say...so why not just SAY it?

I am going to leave a small portion of my post from yesterday.  It is here in red:

Music.  I don't even know where to start.  I'm married to a guy whose life IS music (you know, after his 9 to 5).  He plays guitar and plays all sorts of songs by other artists that range from Frank Sinatra to Tool to Van Morrison to the Beer Run song by Todd Snider.  He also writes and plays his own original songs and some of them are very close to my heart.  And no, they aren't all love songs.  Some of my most favorite songs are the ones he wrote when his biggest influence was RATM.  Political, hatred-filled, angsty songs from the late '90s and early 2000s. 

Those?  Those right there were the days.  Right?

I was very attached to Chris' band when we were in college.  I went to EVERY show they played and was often the only person cheering them on.  I sat through broken strings and soundboard malfunctions and band members storming off stage because CleverTruth didn't get to play their allotted time frame.  I've been there.  I've done it.  And I'd go back in POINTZEROTWOSECONDS.  I loved every part of Chris being in a band.  It made him happy.  And what makes him happy makes me happy. 

Of course things are different now.  We have a child and bills and we're, you know, adults.  I'm not by any means saying that adults can't be in bands.  We have some friends who are in very successful bands.  But what I AM saying is that it is slightly more difficult to dedicate time, energy and money to something like a band when you have a full-time job and also have to pay for things like electricity and life insurance and tumbling class for a 3-year-old.  It's just...life.

That's all I'm leaving from yesterday's blabbing.  Because that is the part that is, to me, important.  Music helped bring Chris and I together.  It helped us learn to work as a team to accomplish tasks.  It helped me learn to support someone in everything they do.  It helped him learn to trust me when I would say sort of mean things like, "That sounds like junk.  You need to take that riff out and you need to take out some of the lyrics because it just sounds jumbled." 

And no, I don't a vast education or experience in the song writing/playing/performing area.  I basically just use my common sense and my love of all types of music.  And I'm honest.  That's the tough part.  Being honest about something...also being constructive.  I don't tell Chris something is terrible just to say it's terrible.  I tell him it's terrible and then tell him why and we work through it to fix it.  And by "we" I basically mean "him."  I just sit there and look pretty. :)

Moving on...

How has music influenced my life?  That's tough.  I was in an orchestra for 6 or 7 years.  I learned to work as a group to make a piece sound amazing.  I learned discipline and that it takes practice to be good at something.  I will also NEVER forget the sound of a tuning A (right, Michelle?).  I learned a bit about performance.  I made some life long friends.  And from all of that I take away some experiences I would've never had without our orchestra.

Also, music gives me something to relate to.  I am a lyrics person, so I first and foremost listen to lyrics.  Let's face it...I can't dance.  I do like a good rhythm, but lyrics are key to me.  I do have a sense of humor, though, so I do appreciate a good pop song that means nothing.  I just recently bought the LMFAO CD and I love it. 

Song lyrics are so important to me that I often speak in them.  I quote them.  In my mind, there is a song for every situation under the sun.  My blog is even named after a song.  I had a blog before this one and even before my Forty Weex blog that was also named after a song.  I don't have a great ability to write outstanding song lyrics, so I really appreciate those artists who can. 

What is your favorite song or artist?  That's even tougher.  I don't have a favorite song.  I don't even have a favorite artist.  I like different songs and artists for different reasons. 

For the sake of this entry, I'm not going to name many songs and/or artists.  To me, music is so much more than lyrics and instruments.  It's passion.  It's story telling.  It's expression of a vast array of emotions.  And if an artist can roll all of that into one, I'll probably like it. 

Is there a certain song that inspires or motivates you, or just makes you feel happy, sad, etc.?

A few songs stand out to me:

Alanis Morrisette - All I Really Want (a really good live version) - My anthem as a girl who just wants to be happy. :)
Dave Matthews Band - Crash  (official video) - A song that reminds me of the beginning of the life that Chris and I have made together.
Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World (a very moving video in regards to the Vietnam War) - The first dance at our wedding reception...and a reminder that no matter how bad things get, you should still try and see the beauty in the world.
Peaches And Cream - John Butler Trio (a live version that brings the tears) - The song that will forever be Jayna's song.  She's my little peach.  This song helped me through a miscarriage and a pregnancy...and it is the perfect representation of how I feel about having a child.
The Best Of You - Foo Fighters (official video) - A dedication to all the people who've brought me down over the years.  I don't have time or energy for your bullshit, thankyouverymuch. :)
Pressed Against The Sky - The Toadies (just...the song.  there is no video or good live performance of this song because it's pretty obscure unless you're a Toadies fan) - A love song by a wonderfully talented band...and it reminds me of Chris.
**All of those are pretty safe for work and kids.**

All of those have longer stories, but we could be here forever. 

That's one of the things that I LOVE about music.  It's an amazing process that our brains go through when you hear a song and you can instantly be transported back to a VERY specific place 10, 20, 30 years ago.  An example:  When Chris and I first started dating, I was at IU with him.  We were hanging out in the dorm room of another person we went to high school with.  DMB's Crash was playing.  I remember that exact moment.  I remember exactly where I was, why I was there, what I was doing, the smells, the feelings, everything.  And everytime I hear that song, I'm instantly take back to that rainy November night from almost 15 years ago.

I like every single song the Toadies have ever written/performed/recorded.  There is something about Todd Lewis' voice that makes their music so very appealing to me.  He could sing the phone book and I'd listen.  He can sing very well, but can also bust out the rock and roll scream.  And he's so very passionate about his music.  And the guitar playing?  Wow.  He can make a guitar sing...not just make music.  He can make a guitar sing.  If I wouldn't have found Chris, I'd still be chasing Todd (or Dave Grohl). :)


I've answered all the questions, but the truth is that I could probably write a book about music and it's influence on me.  In fact, in November, I'm thinking of doing 31 days of posts...all on the topic of music.  It could be interesting. :)

So...what do y'all like to listen to? 

Remember:  Use the list to the right to go read our other ToT posts!!  And we have another newbie this week.  Welcome Erica!!

ToT: With A Little Help from My Friends

TOPIC:
"How do you keep in contact with your friends?  Monthly dinners, weekly phone calls, daily emails?  Are there traditions like a girls weekend or other things that you've kept going over the years?  Do you still have friends you hang out with from high school, college or are most of your friends those that you've met in adulthood?  How do you keep long-lasting friendships?"


Did y'all know it's Wednesday?  I do, but I didn't realize it was Tuesday yesterday.  Monday was my birthday and a day off, so Tuesday was like my Monday and Wednesday was like my Tuesday.  That will eventually make Friday like my Thursday and I think that by this logic, I'd have to work an extra day.  Screw that!  Not gonna happen! 

Anyhoo, here I am, playing catchup again.  Such is life, I suppose.

When I read the topic above, I feel like I have a million things to say.  And then when I start to write them all down, I don't know what to say. 

When I was in high school, I couldn't WAIT to get out.  Sure, I made the best of it and had friends and got good grades and all that junk, but high school is BRUTAL.  It's petty and mean and judgmental and back-stabby (I don't think that's really a word).  You couldn't pay me enough to go back.  Ever. 

If you were to ask me 6 or 7 years ago if I had any friends left from high school, the answer would have unfortunately been a huge NOOOO!!!  But what it comes down to is that I was so rapt up in the bad things about high school that I sort of forgot that when I was going through a hard time, so were all of my friends.  And that just because you don't talk to someone for 5, 6, 7 years does NOT mean that you've burned a bridge.  You burn a bridge by burning a bridge.  You don't burn one by...ummm...underuse.  Or something.

I've never been a person to have a million friends.  I generally don't like people because lots of people are jerks.  Let's just face it.  I've had friends in the past where the friendship was physically difficult to maintain and mentally difficult to WANT to maintain.  While friendship takes work, it shouldn't be HARD.  And if it is hard, then you should WANT to work for it.  If I do all the work, then why do I need you as a friend?  That's my cyincal but VERY true philosophy about friendship. 

That being said, I've managed to either filter out all the bullshit friendships and hold tightly to the valuable ones.  I've dumped the one-sided make-plans-but-never-follow-through ones and nurtured the back-and-forth I'll-always-be-here-and-I-know-you-will-be-too ones.  And I feel like a brand new person.

Having friends in adulthood seems much more difficult to me than it seemed in childhood.  I believe that this isn't only because we have more responsibilities as adults and less time for friendship, but that we (I guess I could just say "I") look for quality in friends instead of just quantity.  Two things I said above completely coincide:  Quality in friendships instead of quantity and holding onto the valuable friendships in my life.  I don't need a LOT of friends...I just need some that I can count on that who can count on me too.

I have a friend from my college years who would be there for me no matter what.  His wife happens to be Charlotte of The Dog Days of Life.  I know that no matter what I need or what I want to talk about or even if I need to cry, he'll be there.  Mark is one of the dearest friends I've ever had and I'm glad that I now get to have Charlotte as a friend also.  I love them both even though we are all separated by a bit of distance.

I also have my local girls.  The ones who can go out to dinner at the drop of a hat (or several hats depending on how many "hats" are in the family), who I can call at all hours of the day and who would rush to my aid if I needed it.  Michelle of After 9 and Some Weekends is in this category.  She and I talk about once a week (or try to) and try to make family plans atleast every couple of months.  It gets a little difficult at certain times of the year, but we do our best.  She is dear to me as are some of the others in this group and I know that I can count on her for just about anything.  She is also a part of the group that we call Book Club, although we haven't all read the same book in...EVER.  Atleast not since I've been a part of it.  It should really be called Pizza and Beer Club. :)

How do I keep in contact with my friends?  Emails, dinners, traditions that we've kept up with?
I keep up with most of my friends on Facebook.  We keep up with each other's daily lives that way and we make plans that way.  Some of us also use Facebook as a way of NOT really communicating with each other.  It's very easy to send a Facebook message versus making a phone call.  I try very hard to not do that.  I do sometimes based solely on the time factor, but I try very hard to be more deliberate and personal in my communication with the people I call friends.

I also try my best to make plans with all of the friends I have who we like to hang with and who also make the effort.  We have a lot of friends who have kids around Jayna's age and she's made lots of friends that way.  Layla is one of her besties and Layla's mom Laura and I went to high school together.  It's great that it works out that way.

Our Pizza and Beer Club group tries to do dinner every couple of months.  We haven't been very diligent lately about keeping up because there are a MILLION babies in the group now!!  It's hard to get away from the babies for pizza and beer.

Do I have friends from high school, college, adulthood?
I have a pretty mixed group of people.  Many I did go to high school with, but lost contact with for several years before we hooked back up.  Some are from college and some are just because we're friends.  I enjoy making new friends, but that's much harder as an adult.  Now that we have a kid, it's a little easier because we meet parents of Jayna's preschool classmates and the parents of the kids she takes swimming lessons/tumbling/dance with.  Will those be long-lasting friendships?  Who knows.  Only time will tell.

How do I keep long-lasting friendships?
It takes work, people.  A phone call.  Keeping dinner plans.  Not bailing on commitments like parties.  Basically, be the friend you'd want to have.  It's all about the Golden Rule.  Do as you'd want done to you.  If you don't want people to shut you out, don't shut people out.  It's that simple of a philosophy. 

I think one thing I could work on is to stop using the "I'm too busy." excuse.  I'm not that busy.  I'm not so busy that I can't take time out for someone who I call a friend. 

Nurture your friendships worth nurturing.  Get rid of the one-sided ones that bring you down.  Easy as pie. :)

Now head on over to the other lovelies to see what they have to say!

Michelle - After 9 and Some Weekends
Nancy - Purple Peaches
Charlotte - The Dog Days of Life
Sarah - Just Living Daily

Together on Tuesday: The Best Things in Life are Free

But you can give them to the birds and the bees...

TOPIC:
"How do you manage money?  Do you have a budget?  Do you do this as a family or is one person responsible for the budgeting?  If needed, how could you improve your budgeting skills?"


First of all, let me say that I chose this topic and it's really forced me to look at things...how much money we make, how much we REALLY spend, where we could improve, etc.  In fact, that's part of what I've been doing the past 2 days...hence why my blog post is a day late. 

Right now as it stands, we employ the Dave Ramsey method for budgeting.  (If you don't know who he is and you need help with debt and money management, GO IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY and check out his book The Total Money Makeover.  It will change the way you look at money forever.  I suppose you could BUY the book too, but that doesn't really help your budget, now does it?)  Do we run a tight ship?  Well...it depends.  Right now we do not.  And that could change.  Actually, that MUST change.

While I love a good routine and like that I have a steady job that keeps me busy the same days every week and allows me to have weekends off, things tend to get boring and stagnant with a routine.  I get up everyday at the same time, cook the same 7 or 8 meals on a rotating schedule, do the same activities, etc.  It gets...boring.  And while that appears at first glance to have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with money, I'm about to connect the two.  In a strange way, but they'll be connected.

When it comes to money, I tend to be pretty "fly by the seat of my pants."  Don't get me wrong here...the bills get paid.  The college fund gets...well, funded.  The savings account gets it's share. 

Or does it?  It gets A share.  But probably not the share it deserves.

It gets what I BUDGET it to get.  And that is up to me.  So why aren't I throwing ALL THE MONEY I CAN INTO THAT SAVINGS?  I mean, we only want to move into a bigger house, buy a better car and go on some vacations.  And all those things take money.

But it isn't **fun** to save money.  It's **fun** to go out to dinner.  It's **fun** to buy Goodwill furniture and refinish and repurpose it.  It's **fun** to build a garden.  And it's **fun** to buy my kid new things. 

There, I admitted it.  I hope you're all happy.

If I had to make a list of monetary priorities RIGHTNOWTHISMINUTE, saving money would probably be somewhere near the bottom.  And that, my friends, is NOT cool.

After 6 months of Dave's methods, you start to get a feel for how things need to go even if you don't stick to it every day of every week.  For example, I know that I am only allowed to eat lunch during the weekdays at a restaurant ONE day.  And I know that I'm only allowed to eat at a restaurant on the weekends ONE time.  I know that if there isn't cash in the envelope, then you wait until next week.  I know that if I want to buy beer at the grocery, I have to wait until the end of the trip to see if there is money left. 

And most of all, I know the value of EVERY penny we earn.  I know.  And yet it's still very difficult to control the impulse to do **fun** things. 

And even though I KNOW all of those things, since I've strayed so far away from the envelopes and the monthly/weekly budget forms, I've just simply put it out of my mind.  Not cool.  Soooo not cool.

So...I suppose I'll have to change my definition of **fun.**

Jayna is just as happy with going to a park as she is to Chuck E. Cheese.  She'd be even more happy with visiting friends and playing at their houses or having them come to our house.  And I've come to learn that those pesky "last 5 pounds" come off quicker if I forego restaurants all together.  Those are both things that are feasible, logical and easy to understand in my brain. 

I am the money manager at our house.  I am a firm believer in Dave Ramsey's methods and I suggest him to someone atleast once a month.  It is a practical budgeting system that will allow you to see a change in your debt:income ratio in a matter of just one year.  One year IS NOT A LONG TIME.  Wasn't it just January last month??  See, time flies...and this year is almost already half over.

Chris is involved in our budgeting also.  He helps me control my urge to spend.  Most of what we spend money on is projects.  Furniture, garden, swingset, home improvements.  It seems that when I do a project that I can justify it to myself because I'm going to get something as an end result.  I've gotta stop thinking like that.  Chris has put a firm hold on projects until we pay off some things.  And he'll force me to stick to it.  He's a mean, mean man, folks!!  I mean, just look at him!!

If that isn't the face of meanness, I don't know what is!!!

(This is actually my ploy to get a picture in here that I LOVE.)

He's right, though.  He is absolutely right.  That kid up there in that cutest little skirt with that cutest straight hair wants to go to Disney World before she starts school next year.  And we have GOT to make that happen.

How could I improve my budgeting skills?  I COULD GET A GIANT FAT RAISE!!!

But seriously...I just need to spend less on needless things and put as much money as I can find into savings.  It's just that simple. 

How do YOU manage money?  Do you have a budget or do you just pay the bills and save some and spend the rest? 

Now, use these links and go ahead and see how Michelle, Charlotte, Nancy and Sarah feel about money and budgeting!!

Together on Tuesday: Workin' for a Livin'

So yesterday was Tuesday and conincidentally, Michelle over at After 9 and Some Weekends was the only one to actually post on Tuesday!  We are all just outstanding with timing. :)
For serious though, I was busy all day yesterday...from the time I woke up late to the time I fell asleep on the couch at 9pm.  If I fall asleep on the couch, that means I'm tired and that even if I were awake, I'd be a fairly useless waste of space. 

After you finish up here, head on over to Michelle at After 9 and Some Weekends, Charlotte at The Dog Days of Life and Nancy at Purple Peaches and see what they have to say (if they're caught up.  Be patient...we all have busy moments in life.)

Today's topic is something that is near and dear to my heart.  I have a desk job and I go stir crazy.  I am the creative type and there is NOTHING creative about a desk job.  Seriously.  It bores me senseless on some days, but it is reliable, provides me with benefits that are very needed in this day and age and puts food on the table.  At this point in my life, I can't give all that up and risk going for broke.  I have a child and other responsibilities that force me to act responsibly. 

So here it is:  What is your dream job?  How would this job affect your ability to be a mother, wife, etc.?  Would you go back to school?  Would you relocate? 

"I want to sing and dance.  I want to sing and dance.  I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance.  Wear me silver buckle slippers and me tight shiny pants.  I want to sing and dance."

Whoever gets that reference gets 10 bonus points.

Really I don't want to sing and dance.  In fact, I'm pretty bad at both.

First of all, I actually know some people who have something close to my dream job.  And they actually LOVE what they do.  I think that makes it harder and easier at the same time.  See, my dream job is unconventional. 

I want to create things and sell them.

That is the long and short of it.  Would you like me to be more specific?  Okay.

Knowing people who do this?  Well, that just makes me slightly jealous.  BUT...it gives me hope that it can be done effectively.

I have many creative interests.  And I'm actually pretty good at a lot of creative things.  I can hold my own with a crochet hook.  I can paint.  I can scrapbook.  I can effectively repurpose furniture.  I can use power tools.  I can bake AND decorate.  And I simply LOVE all of those things.

I basically want to be Martha Stewart minus the felony conviction and jail sentence.

This will absolutely not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me.  They all know that I love all of those things.  Many of them think I'm wierd for it.  Many of them think it's pretty cool.  They all know that they can ask me a vast array of questions regarding crafty and creative things and I'll help out.  I've made many decorated cupcakes for friend's kid's birthday parties.  I've made invitations for those parties.  I've painted paintings and murals for friends.  I've made scrapbooks for more people than I can count.  I've crocheted things for friends.  I even recently redid a piece of furniture to suit my needs.  And I do it ALL FOR FREE because I love my friends.  Now if I could only find a way to get paid for it...

A few years ago I asked Chris if I could quit my job and become an event planner.  I'd start small with kid's birthday parties and stuff and then work my way up to weddings.  He then asked me if I was on serious drugs. :)

For what it's worth, I really do think I'd be good at it.  I just don't know if I could make a living out of it.

My friend Kelly owns her own business called FireWheel Tie Dye.  She tie dyes things and then sells them at Farmer's Markets and things.  She is fabulous!  I have 2 ombre dyed scarves from her and I wear them often.  I envy her. 

This is one of Kelly's beautiful ombre dyed scarves.  She's fabulous.  Check her out of Facebook at FireWheel Tie Dye.

There is a woman who lives near me who makes her living like this and as a blogger.  Her name is Beckie.  She doesn't know I even exist, but I read her blog religiously and love some of the things she comes up with.  Find her here at Infarrantly Creative.

Would I relocate for it?  Nope.  As much as I complain about Indiana weather, I do really like living here most of the time amongst family and friends.  Would I go back to school for it?  In a heartbeat!  If I could've gotten paid to go to college, I'd still be there.  I LOVE learning. 

How would it affect my ability to be a mother, wife, etc.?  I actually think it would have a positive impact on my parenting skills.  I would be working from home, so I could come and go as I pleased and have Jayna there with me.  When she goes to school, I'd be able to pick her up and drop her off and take her to various classes, events, etc.  I'd have more time to do household things since I'd automatically be there.  And it would be great for Jayna and Chris if I were doing what truly makes me happy.

Here is a random sampling of my creative life, past and present:

This is one of my more recent projects.  I needed a cabinet to house my bedroom television, computer and junk, but I also need it to be something I could sit at and use the computer.

This is what it looks like when you open it.  The printer shelf slides out to access the scanner and the top drawer hinges down so the keyboard can slide out to be used.  Thank you, dad and Chris for your help!!!



This is the inside of one of my baby books.  I have about 5 of these to finish up for various people.  I just need to DO IT!!  

First of all, sorry for how terrible I look in that picture.  That was the day we had to let go of Morgan.  I finished crocheting that cowl (THAT I LOVE BY THE WAY) to keep my mind off of it.  I hope KT's mom (or KT if she kept it) likes it!

Spiderman cupcake toppers for Chance's birthday.  They just sit on top of the icing.  They were way cute. :) 

Crocheted flower hair barrettes for Jayna's girl friends for Valentine's Day last year.  I STILL have people asking for more of those. 

Picture frame wreath for the front door at Christmas.  My mom and Aunt Mary and I made these.  Sorry for the terrible pic.  It was night, it was 10 degrees and I can say that I probably was taking it without shoes on. 

Homemade Christmas gifts:  The pink jar is salt and sugar peppermint foot scrub.  Totally organic.  The left one is vanilla brown sugar body scrub.  Again, totally organic.  And the little one is chocolate mint lip balm.  And it is also totally organic.  I still use ALL of these.  I'm on my third batch of brown sugar.  Soooo good for your skin. 

This is the first page of my 2012 Project Life album.  I love it.  And thank you Nancy at Purple Peaches for those AWESOME photos!!! 

I had an old canvas that had dimensional tape all over it that I couldn't peel off.  I couldn't bring myself to toss it, so I joint compounded over it and made it a painting.  I love it. And of course I love The Beatles. :) 

The tree in Jayna's room.  Although now the coral flowers are orange.  My JBird and her orange.  Orange this, orange that.  You'd think with her princess complex that she'd love pink.  Nope.  Orange it is.  I also painted them orange to match her new bedding. 

Fondant cows for Layla's first birthday.  I have never had more fun making something out of fondant.  I think they're pretty cute. :) 

Mickey Mouse Club House cupcakes.  Stars, gears and Mickey ears for Kaesyn's second birthday.  I loved this project too.

WOW!!  This entry is LONG!!  No wonder it took me 2 days to write it!  Good thing I only wrote about ONE of my dream jobs...

What do y'all want to do with yourselves in a perfect world?  Are you okay with your current job or do you yearn to do something completely different?

Now head on over to Michelle, Charlotte and Nancy and see what they want to do for a living!

Together on Tuesday: Riveting Television, Part II

Yesterday y'all got to read about Mad Men.  I had one request that I go ahead and watch the 2 hour Season 5 Premiere even though it is just one episode and not a whole season.  Penny:  I'd LOVE to watch it.  But I can't.  No, really.  I actually can't.  See, I dropped our cable because it was "empty calories."  We watch television via Netflix, Hulu and a program called Playon.  And AMC participates in exactly ZERO of those methods.  I can't even PAY to watch the new episode without subscribing to cable.  And I'm not willing to do that right now.  I was livid pissed for about one day.  And then I remembered what is important and got over myself.  (I didn't really get over it.  I'm still just a little upset.)
So...I'll have to watch it after the entire season is released on DVD.

I almost had a panic attack as I typed that.

****UPDATE: THE SEASON 5 PREMIERE OF MAD MEN HAS BEEN UPLOADED TO THE AMCTV WEBSITE.****

BUT....

I'm not here to piss and moan or talk about Mad Men.  I'm here to talk about another AMC series that is absolutely amazing.  If it were a book, I'd call it a page turner.  I could call it "Must See TV," but NBC may or may not sue me.  So if they ask, I didn't call it that.

Enter: Walter White, Jesse Pinkman

Breaking Bad is possibly the best series that I've ever watched.  Let me just set up a scenario for you all:

You are in your late 40s.  You are a middle class family ($40,000 a year) with a son with disabilities.  Your wife has been a stay-at-home-mom for quite a few years and by some stroke of...luck?...she ends up pregnant in her 40s.  Healthy baby.  Healthy pregnancy.  Because of this pregnancy, you get another job at a car wash working AFTER your 9 to 5 to supplement your meager income. 

Sounds pretty believable to me.  This happens to people everyday.  And there is nothing exciting or out of the ordinary about it.

You notice one day that you have a cold and a cough.  This lands you in the ER where you learn that you have adenocarcinoma.  Incurable.  Not long to live.  You leave behind a pregnant wife, a disabled son, a mortgage, several more bills, etc.  No savings account.  No rainy day fund.

WHAT DO YOU DO? 

Do you seek treatment for your terminal illness thus putting your family in debilitating debt knowing full well that this treatment will most likely NOT save or even help you?

WHAT DO YOU DO?

What if you had a special talent that wasn't legal, but would produce a large amount of money in a short amount of time?

WHAT DO YOU DO?

How do you provide for your family after your ultimate and untimely demise?  Do you risk your life and your freedom NOW so that you may secure a fruitful future for your family?

It's all very...loaded.  Emotionally loaded.  Morally loaded.  Legally loaded.  Sociologically and psychologically loaded.  Loaded.  To the max.

And some parts of it are hilarious. 

In the first season of Breaking Bad, we are introduced to Walter White and made to believe that he is somewhat of a loser.  An underachiever.  A sissy.  Well, keep watching.  When pushed into a corner, ya do what ya gotta do.  And Walter White is pretty much the epitome of that statement.  He does what he has to do to survive and protect the people he loves, including Jesse. And he makes no apologies for his actions.

Jesse Pinkman.  Oh, Pinkman.  "This is my private domicile and I'll not be harrassed...BITCH."  I love Jesse.  I especially loved Jesse when he was clean.  When he was attempting to put his life in order.  But most of all, I like that he tries sooooo hard and seems only to further complicate things.  And I love that he makes decisions based on his emotions.  A pretty real character.

Overall, I think the premise of this series is just a little too damn believable.  I think it paints an accurate social picture of what people will do in this day and age for the almighty dollar.  I also think it paints an accurate, albeit watered down, picture of the drug culture.  It is sometimes very difficult to watch (i.e. Wendy the Prostitute, Crazy Eight, The Cousins, Tuco, The Skank with the redheaded child) but very difficult to forget when you do watch.

If you haven't seen any of Breaking Bad, please do so.  Atleast the first 3 or 4 episodes.  You'll laugh.  You'll cry.  You'll cringe.  And if someone knocks on your door at 3am asking to come in because someone kicked him out and beat him up, you may or may not think that a drug dealer is at your door waiting to kidnap and kill you.  Trust me...that may or may not think that.  And by may not, I mean you WILL DEFINITELY THINK THAT.

Breaking Bad is available to watch at all these places.

Are YOU a Breaking Bad fan?  Why?  Why not?