For Shame!

I know, right?!? 

Two stinkin' months of no posts.  Sorry, y'all...I needed a break.

My plan is to be back on a (atLEAST) once weekly blogging schedule by the beginning of March.  It seems that I have no concept of time management lately and I'm not sure what is going to need to be done to remedy that.  The train VERY APPARENTLY derailed, but I'm not schooled in putting trains back on tracks or whatever, so I'm still doing research on how to do that.

I wanted to do a quick check in to let all of you regulars know that I am indeed alive and well and that I'll make sure you don't miss out on all of the junk that was my holiday season and the things that have come after that.  My life needs rearranging and you all will be a huge part of that also.

Some things that need work:

• I am quitting with crochet until further notice.  I just can't juggle crochet hooks right now.
• I haven't done any form of scrapbooking since sometime in 2010.  That is stupid crazy.  I LOVE that hobby and I am super freakin' sad that I've neglected it for that long.  To deal with this, I've started a system called Project Life.  If you have any interest in preserving memories, but aren't really a scrapbooker, I HIGHLY recommend this system.  All you have to do is buy the parts to the kit, take pictures and get them printed out and stick them in the page protectors.  The page protectors are sectioned off and are designed for 4x6 photos...one a day.  BUT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE ONE A DAY.  It is also designed to be done weekly.  You also can buy little cards where you can write small snippets of your week on and then add them to your pages.  I also have added a tag from clothing, a card, an invitation, etc.  Super easy and efficient.  When you are a parent with a job and have lots of other obligations, efficiency is the name of the game.
• I am doing P365+1.  I take (atleast) one photo a day, ordinary or special, with my iPhone and I put it into my Photo 365 app.  This helps me with Project Life.  I certainly need help with my memory and this is the perfect app for that. 
• I installed the Blogger app on my iPhone.  I'll just admit it now:  I DO MORE THINGS ASSOCIATED WITH PICTURES/INTERNET/SOCIAL NETWORKING WITH MY IPHONE THAN I DO WITH A CAMERA AND A COMPUTER COMBINED.  I haven't taken one single picture with my actual camera all year.  I haven't needed to.  My iPhone is right there.  Handy.  Easy.  No fuss.  And I can upload or save my photos to 10 different places via my iPhone.  No uploading photos to a computer, etc.  I LOVE IT.
• If my iPhone dies, I probably will too.  Just a note to myself. :)
• The fact that I do so many things from my phone has inhibited ONE aspect of my life:  Blogging.  I miss blogging, but it's so dang many steps to turn on my home computer, go to my blogger account, type a post, find all my photos and figure out how to get them to the computer I'm working on and then publish and then link to Facebook.  Now that I've figured things out, I can do all this from my phone.  This will result in more but shorter blog posts.  Y'all can live with that, right?
• My good friend MZQ and I are planning to start (very soon, I hope) a weekly topic and linkup situation where we blog about a topic and...get this...LINK up to one another.  If I'm reaching any other bloggers out there, please let me know if you'd like to be a part of this.  We don't have any topics yet, but I'm assuming they'll be across the board topics that range from funny to serious to opinion to stories.  I hope she's thinking the same here. :)

So that's how I'm rollin' this year.  I used to use my blog to preserve my memories.  I am now doing that more privately, but I still want to include you all in that process.  Stay tuned for some ACTUAL blogging. 

Loves to you all. :)

Translation Tuesday: What Toddlers Say vs. What Toddlers Mean

***WARNING:  This post is NOT for those of you with weak stomachs.  You've been properly advised.***

Jayna has been sick.  Not fever, infection, runny nose sick.  Just diarrhea sick.  That's all.  Nothing else. 

And it's frustrating.  Having a 2-year-old who is right on the edge of being potty trained who then gets diarrhea is a nightmare. 

She's been having episodes since Saturday evening.  I'm beginning to think she has a shellfish allergy, but I really don't want to test my theory just yet.  And I'm sort of tired of cleaning up poop for now.

Sunday was pretty good.  She was sort of lethargic most of the day, but we just thought she was tired from a busy weekend.  But right before bed, she had the diarrhea episode of her life.  Fun.  And then she went to sleep immediately and woke up with a dry pull up on Monday morning.  She never said anything about her tummy hurting or anything.  She ate breakfast well and behaved all morning.

I got off work about half an hour early yesterday and I went to the gym.  I was anticipating to run a long run since I was off early.  On a whim, I took my phone in with me.  I NEVER take my phone into the gym.  There is too much temptation there.  And I can't concentrate on running when I'm just...running.  Having my phone there with me to constantly look at would be trouble.

Anyhoozy, I took my phone in with me yesterday thinking I'd need it for some reason.  Precisely 2.4 miles into a run that I anticipated being a 4 or 5 miles long, I saw my phone light up.  It was Jayna's preschool.  She'd had 2 diarrhea episodes and "wanted to go home and lie on the couch."  Translation:  "go home and watch Spongebob while asking mommy to do everything from getting juice and crackers to picking up said crackers after they're properly spilled all over the floor." 

I took her home and she promptly wanted to "rest on mommy's bed because my belly hurts."  Which translates to "watch television while romping around under the covers with the dog and generally messing up everything in mommy and daddy's room while only whining that my tummy hurts when mommy tells me that I'm acting like I feel better so I can watch television in the living room."   Yikes.  A little girl with diarrhea and only a pair of Tinkerbell panties in between her bottom and my sheets made my anxiety level rise like no other.

I proceeded to ask her approximately 37.5 times if she had to potty.  She told me the last time, "I go potty when I have to go mommy.  I don't have to go right now."  Which translates to, "Leave me alone, lady!!  How do you expect me to follow the story line of iCarly if you're blabbing in my ear???"  (Yes, she watches iCarly.  She asks to watch it and I'll let her watch iCarly over Spongebob any freakin day of the week.)

So, I went to the kitchen and left her alone.  She came in about 3 minutes later and said, "Mommy, don't ask me that again.  I don't have to go.  I go when I have to.  Don't ask me anymore."  Translation, anyone?  "I'm potty trained, you crazy person.  YOU wanted me to be potty trained and now I am and you STILL won't leave me alone.  Please, for the love of cheese, have some freaking confidence in me."

I told her that I wouldn't ask her anymore.  She stayed in the kitchen with me saying, "I help mommy with dinner."  Translation:  "I'll stand on my stool and drop things off the counter and laugh hysterically."  She was standing there on her stool when all of a sudden she said, "Uh oh...I better go to the potty.  NOW!!!!!!!!!"  And then she darted for the bathroom.  Translation:  "I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT AND THERE IS ABOUT TO BE A MESS TO CLEAN UP!!!!!!!!"

I followed her around the corner only to see her taking off her panties ON THE CARPET outside of the bathroom.  And then she couldn't control it....

I think you know what happened then.  I won't go into extreme detail here.

She sat down on the potty to finish her business and then just looked up at me.  She said, "I got poop on my hand mommy.  And on my leg and on the floor.  And the rug.  Poop all over mommy.  I need to wash it off.  I go poop in my panties.  I bad.  I sorry mommy.  I sorry."  Translation?? 

Before we translate that one, I'd like it to be known that we have NEVER told her she is bad for going in her pull up or diaper or panties.  NEVER. 

Resume translation:  "I have poop all over me.  I need a bath.  And my panties will need to be washed as will the carpet.  And the rug.  And everything else in the hallway and bathroom.  And I am sorry I disappointed you, mom.  I'm really sorry."

Sometimes they really do say what they mean.

What that kid doesn't understand is that I will never be disappointed in her for having a true-to-her-word accident. 

I just replied. "Jaynie, I still love you.  I will always love you.  You are NOT bad.  You are a good girl and you tried to get to the potty.  Everything can be cleaned up.  We'll wash it all.  Starting with you."

And that's what we did.

Gaining the skill to translate from "2-Year-Old" to "Adult" is a good skill to have.  But sometimes no translation is needed.  Being able to tell the difference is a trait of a loving and patient parent.  This goes down as a win.

Progress Report: Week 7

No more daily gym updates.  That was getting to be too much for me.  I can't even find the time to blog twice a week and I don't want my entire blog to be about running.  Seriously.

Last week (2/14 to 2/20/11) was good.  And then bad.  And then good again.

Roller coasters are my favorite.  Especially when I'm striving for consistency.

I had good intentions of running outside last week.  It was freezing a couple of days and I've been fighting some cold/flu/allergy issues, so I was just happy that the gym provided a warm place where I could run and breathe.  I ran at the gym all 3 days...Monday, Thursday and Saturday.

On Monday I ran a continuous 2.5 miles.  I ran at 4.7 mph, so that put me at a 12:45 minute mile.  That put me at 31.1 continuous minutes of running.  And my lungs rebeled.  So did my heart.  But I did it and now it's easier.  It seems that once I run a certain distance one time that it almost (I said almost) instantly becomes easier.  I've been told that it's because I was better than I thought at the beginning and I'm still learning my limits...you know, starting from scratch and all.

On Tuesday I woke up sick and missed Tuesday and Wednesday.  I went back, apparently prematurely, on Thursday and could only get in a mile before I nearly collapsed.  I had a coughing fit that caused the very helpful and concerned girl next to me to take out her headphones and asked if she could "get my inhaler."  She was just sure I was having an asthma attack.  I assured her that I do not, in fact, have asthma and I just had a really horrendous cold.  I left mainly out of embarrassment.  I probably could've recovered and ran another mile, but I was way off my game and just wanted to go home.

By Saturday I was feeling 100% better, so I went with the intention of running 3 miles.  I took Benadryl before I went for an allergy-related issue and I'm pretty sure that that's the worst thing I could ever do.  I'll just have to suffer the allergies.  I began like I do everytime and at half of a mile, I was light-headed and crampy and SUPER EFFIN' PISSED because of those things.  I was doubled over in pain from the chest/side cramping and I thought I was pretty close to passing out.  I pushed the dreaded stop button and just stood there doubled over and close to tears.  I was sooooo angry at myself.

Just as I was gathering my things to leave, one of the trainers at my gym that I see everytime I'm there noticed that I was having less than a stellar workout and said to me as he walked by, "Don't go anywhere.  I'll be back in a minute.  Start walking again."  So I followed directions.

He came back and gave me the motivational speech of a lifetime.  I offered to hire him to go with me to the Mini, but he's also running.  It also helps that he has actually witnessed all of my progress since he works there.  He also gave me some pointers that I'd already been given by various people about breathing and stride and such.  He said I was doing things right by taking it slow and that if I just stick with it I won't fail.  I was told that "you don't need to one-up yourself EVERYTIME you run...if you do that you'll get frustrated and want to quit.  Try only upping mileage or speed every couple of runs."  It was nice that at that very moment I had someone on my side. :)

I ended up running another 2.25 miles.  Thank you, Ryan.

So, there you have it.  Up.  Then down.  Then up again.  Here's to a new week of much needed consistency.

Progress Report & Note to Treadmill Users: Day 8

After a long weekend of sitting on my ass (in actuality, I was cleaning up water all over my house and entertaining a child), I was determined to get a jumpstart on this week.  And I did just that.

Basics:  2.26 miles.  Walk 3.2-3.5 mph, run 4.6 mph.  Ran total of 1.75 miles.  Longest stretch was 1 mile/13.06 minutes.

I DID IT!!!!

The goal was a stretch of .75 miles...and I surpassed that!!  The other goal was a total of 1.5 miles...and I surpassed that too!!!!

Feeling good about that.  And I think I can keep this up.  My heartrate seemed to plateau around the .6 mark and I probably could've went even further than the mile.  At one point I got deliriously happy and  couldn't stop smiling.  I'm sure I looked like a dork.

And now, a PSA to treadmill users who seemingly do not use treadmills very often (Yes, I do see the irony that I haven't been running for very long, but please keep reading):  If you set your speed at 6 mph (running speed) and then HOLD YOURSELF UP ON THE SIDERAILS while your feet BARELY TOUCH THE TREADMILL, then the treadmill is not for you.  If your feet aren't planted firmly, then you are NOT RUNNING.  This is really an exercise for your arms that can be achieved with 4 or 5 other pieces of gym equipment.  Get the eff OFF THE TREADMILL and let someone who really runs or walks use it.  Go use some other machine for your arms.

Rant over.

Progress Report: Day 7 and Goals for Next Week

Last week was a week of successes and failures.  And while the successes should mean more than the failures, they don't just yet.  I shouldn't be failing this early in the game.

First up is Day 7 which was Friday 1/21.  Yep...no gym alllllll weekend.  A flood and laziness interfered with that...

Anyhooters, the basics:  32 minutes, 2.2 miles.  Walk 3.2-3.5 mph, run 4.6 mph.  (I increased my run speed a tenth of a mile because 4.5 seems too slow now.  I know it isn't much, but it's atleast the right direction.)  My run total was 1.4 miles (yeah...ONE EFFING TENTH of a mile from the goal.) and walked the rest.  Longest stretch was .75 miles and right at 9 continuous minutes.

Feelings:  Friday was a day filled with anger and emotions.  I fell apart that afternoon for some known and some unknown reasons.  I was mad and anxious when I got there to run and I didn't want to be there.  I've been told that someday I'll learn to channel the emotions into the running, but that isn't happening yet.  I did meet a goal, but that's because I was determined to overcome the funk.  So maybe I DID channel the emotions.  Who the hell knows?!?

My goals for last week were simple:

• Go to gym 4 times for 30+ minutes.   FAIL
• Run .75 miles continuously.  SUCCESS
• Run 1.5 miles of the 2 mile runs.  CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR.

Lesson #1:  If I expect myself to go to the gym AFTER I pick up Jayna, go home and get some things done, then I can pretty much just call that a fail.  It is far too difficult to go throughout the week after I've already been home.  There is too much of the day-to-day to deal with. 

Lesson #2:  Skipping the weekends is NOT AN OPTION.  I really need to make use of Jayna's naptime and get up off it.  Seriously.

Lesson #3:  Running 1.4 miles out of 1.5 hurts more than NOT RUNNING AT ALL.  I mean an emotional type of hurt.  Had I just gotten off my ass and WENT, I most likely would have met 2 of my 3 goals.

***Shaking it off.***

Okay, let's get on to next week's goals:

• Go to gym 4 times for 30+ minutes each.
• Run 1.5 miles of 2 miles ATLEAST 2 of those days.
• Get comfortable with running .75 continuously...meaning I will increase next week.

Progress Report: Day Two

I will be updating the blogaroo EVERYtime I exercise in any form.  The regular readers may get bored with this, but I don't care.  I don't care because this is my life and I must document it.  I will be able to go back to where I began and see my progress in words.  And this is VERY important to me....and my mental state.

On Monday Chris and I joined a new gym.  We quit our last gym over the summer because we weren't planning on going anytime soon and it was costing us upwards of 40 bucks a month.  We joined a new one for half that price for the both of us and they have everything we need and it is close to home.  Perfect.  I can even go before I pick Jayna up from school.  Outstanding. 

I went yesterday AWBJ ("after work, before Jayna"...hey, if technology has taught us anything it's that any number of phrases or words can be abbreviated or acronymed at the user's discretion) which means that I could only go for about 30 minutes.  But 30 minutes is 30 minutes...especially when you're basically starting from scratch.  I walked at between 3.8 and 4.3 mph for almost the entire time.  At about the 20 minute mark, I decided to bump up the mph and run at 5.3 mph.  FOR A WHOLE 3 MINUTES.  And I thought death was waiting for me in the locker room.  Seriously...I've got a long road ahead of me.  I ended with just at 2 miles in 30 minutes.

So I have to have a plan even if it goes unused.  Having the plan just makes my brain rest a little easier.  So the plan is that 2 days a week I'll go AWBJ and 1 day a week I'll go after she goes to bed (AB...haha) so I can be there longer. Atleast 1 weekend day (I'm shooting for both days after this weekend) I'll go either at naptime (N) or after bedtime.  If I'm going to do this, it's going to have to work around the 2-year-old's schedule. :)

My short term goal, with the help of KT, is to be able to run a continuous 3 miles in 35 minutes by the beginning of March.  Here's hoping I don't kill myself.

To Recap, my progress was joining and then GOING TO a gym...and actually beginning the journey.

Here goes nothin' y'all. :)

Five for Friday: Nonexistent

Dontcha love that title?  I could've just titled it something else, but that would've been...the right thing to do. 

I'm just so used typing Five for Friday.  It's like a bad habit.

Today I bring you an update on my beloved Captain Morgan.  Oh Captain, my Captain.

I love that movie...

Anyhooters, Moe is...just getting old.  He has severe arthritis in his FRONT legs.  This apparently is pretty uncommon, but obviously it happens.  We found out he has arthritis and cartilage loss in his back legs about 5 or 6 years ago.  We put him on glucosamine chondroitin, worked him to help strengthen his joints, gave him buffered aspirin when he experienced pain and he came out the other side of it.  This time seems to be a little more serious than that.

He is 10 years old now.  That is almost double his age when he was diagnosed with arthritis in his back legs.  Apparently dogs carry 60% or more of their weight on their front legs...making this a bit more complicated.  He has a very difficult time rising from lying down and even has trouble getting onto the lowest chair we have.  Sometimes he even trips over the sliding glass doorway to go outside...and that's just a couple of inches off the floor.

He has some clicking in one of his back knees, but it isn't serious.  The vet did say that even she realizes that he's aged tremendously since she last saw him...which was in January of this year.  His vision is okay, but he has some difficulty transitioning from bright to dim and vice versa.  You know, like most aging living things. 

He still has spunk and love to give.  He still eats and drinks and plays to the best of his ability.  He loves us and wants us around.  And he loves Jayna more than life itself.

So...where do we go from here??  Our vet is pretty "real life."  Her first and foremost option was that we get him some pain meds for when he is in pain, change his dog food to a prescription dog food that contains all the vital nutrition for healthy joints and continue to work him to the best of his ability.  She also gave us some other options (that some people who are "real life" about their pets would certainly LOVE to spend the money on...) like xrays, cold light treatment, etc.  She is always very forthcoming about what the best option is in terms of money, extending a dog's life for your own personal gain, and just letting nature take it's course.

If we had xrays done, it would be alot of money.  And from those xrays, she'd pretty much just be able to say, "Yep, he has arthritis."  The cold light treatment requires anesthesia (last year when Moe was put out for his cancer removal, it took him FOREVER to bounce back from the anesthesia) and isn't even guaranteed to work.  Oh...and it's expensive.  REALLY expensive.

Soooo...we are going with the "real life" treatment...which still isn't cheap.  He requires Tramadol when he's in alot of pain.  And he now eats Prescription Diet j/d.  If you're familiar with Prescription Diet then you know it isn't cheap.  We'll drop $65.00 on a 30 pound bag.  And that will last 7 or 8 weeks.

I'll pay it.  I love that dog more than life itself.  But I will NOT interfere with nature and try to prolong his life for my gain or my inability to let go.

Here's to alot more great years, Morgan!!  We love you!

Well Played Wednesday: Tell It Like It Is

Yesterday after work, Jayna and I went to Sam's Club.  We love it there...all the time except for yesterday.  I had 3 or 4 bad experiences (including a photo employee telling me that if my archive photo cd's didn't work that I was "out of luck because there were no photo refunds," an employee acting like me asking where tortillas were equalled me asking her the meaning of effing life and a cart boy telling me that I couldn't put my cart in the cart corral because he just emptied it) there in ONE day and that made for a short tempered checkout experience.

Jayna sometimes sits in the basket part of the cart.  She is a well behaved child and stays on her bottom.  If she moves from her bottom ONE TIME, she knows that she will have to move to the front of the cart.  Yesterday she sat in the basket the entire trip and never moved from her bottom.  She was an angel!!

As we were standing in the check out line a woman got in line behind us.  She was seemingly Pentecostal...with the long jean skirt and her hair in a very tall, crunchy-hairsprayed bun and some tall feathered '90s bangs.  (That last statement was purely for identification and description purposes.  I have absolutely nothing against the Pentecostal religion or any of their practices.)  She was seemingly in her late 50s or early 60s.  She began innocently playing with Jayna.  I didn't care.  I was happy that she was being entertained as the person 2 carts in front of us was BUYING ONE OF EVERYTHING IN THE EFFING STORE and it was taking forever.  About 3 minutes later, the following is the conversation that ensued:

Lady:  "You're such a sweet little thing, but I can't believe that your mommy lets you sit in the basket...it's SO dangerous."

Me:  "I'm RIGHT here next to her.  She's fine.  She hasn't moved from her bottom the whole trip.  I don't need any parenting advice."

Lady:  "Well, honey, she could just fall right out of there-"

Me:  (cutting her off)  "Do you have any kids?"

Lady:  "Excuse me?"

Me:  "Do YOU HAVE KIDS??"  (this drew a wide eye and a listening ear from the lady in front of me who had kids and was about my same age...and had a seemingly similar parenting style)

Lady:  "Oh, honey, they're grown...probably your age or older."

Me:  "Then you haven't been the parent of a toddler in a LONG TIME.  I DON'T NEED ANY PARENTING ADVICE.  Look around, my kid is an angel compared to most of the kids here."

Lady:  "Well, okay.  I just-"

Jayna:  (cutting Lady off and pointing to her head)  "HAVE SILLY HAIR!!"  (and then Jayna laughed hysterically)

At this point I made eye contact with the lady in front of me who was listening and I'm just sure was going to come to my rescue at anytime and we LAUGHED LIKE WE WERE 5 YEARS OLD. 

Well played, Jayna.  Well played.

I have never told my kid what "silly hair" looks like.  She came up with that all on her own.  The funniest thing was that her hair wasn't all that bad.  A little dated for my taste, but it wasn't in a mohawk or anything.  I did end up telling Jayna that it wasn't nice to tell people things like that and that, but I didin't make her apologize.  She's a kid...she honestly didn't mean any harm.  I'm positive that the woman never wanted to see us again anyway.

Make It Mine Monday: Housing Styles

I tried to post this yesterday.  Blogger was being a...well, Blogger was down.  I'll leave it at that.  I won't subject your pretty little eyes to that sort of language.

By now you all know that I want to move very badly.  And I am now headed in the right direction to acheive that goal.  By this time next year, it is my strong belief that I will be in a new house.  Come on, Karma.  Do me good.

I am always extremely drawn to houses that have some sort of architectural detail.  When I wrote this post, I said that this house was Cape Cod style.  That isn't necessarily so.  It does have Cape Cod influences, but there are attributes from the Cottage Style also.  Anyhoo, I liked it because it had some interesting exterior details.  And when we originally began looking at houses, we looked at this one:

Before the new owners (the dreaded flippers who put lipstick on this pig and raised the price to something completely ridiculous) painted all of the outside, you could tell that this house was a little bit Tudor Revival Style meets a little bit Craftsmen Style.  It was a beautiful house and the new owners made it look cheap.

Since I've discovered that I'm drawn to architectural details of houses, I've begun researching housing styles and which ones I like best.  And obviously, I want this one:

I mean, who doesn't want to live in Forrest Gump's house??  So maybe the roof is a little different, but this is it people!!

In all seriousness, it would be so awesome to have a house that we could restore to make it look like it should.  One of my favorites is the Queen Anne Style:

I would love to live there!! 

So there you have it.  Today (and yesterday) I want an architecturally interesting house.  And someday I'll have it.  I got all of my information from here.  Go take a quick look and report back.  What is your favorite housing style?

A Healthy Kid and A Karmic Imbalance

Jayna is getting better...but not without first getting worse. She had a recheck yesterday. Her ears were worse, but the RSV was pretty much gone. We've begun weaning her off the breathing treatments. I mentioned to the doctor that Jayna was having severe diarrhea multiple times a day because of the omnicef antibiotic. Since it wasn't really making her ears better anyway, the doctor said that we just go to antibiotic shots. Yes, she has to get shots, but only 2 or 3. Instead of horrible diarrhea for 10 DAYS!! We're talking 4 or 5 exploding diapers a day here, folks. She was eventually going to get dehydrated. So we did the shots. As soon as they gave her her first round of shots, I immediately regretted agreeing to the shots. It was seriously painful for me to watch. She was already fussy because her ears hurt and she was hungry and tired. And she just wanted me to hold her. But I had to lay her on that table and let the nurse give her the shots. Just terrible.

She had another recheck and round of shots today...I made Chris take her. There is NO WAY I was going to be able to handle 2 days in a row of shots. He took her and she got a good report! Her ears are MUCH better (so much better, in fact, that she may not need her last antibiotic shot) and we can continue to wean her off the breathing treatments. By Tuesday she'll be in the clear for the RSV!! Yay!

It seems that I've screwed with karma in one way or another. Jayna has been very sick. Chris may have to have tubes in his ears again. My bank account is suffering. Yesterday after I took Jayna to the doctor she needed her breathing treatment at Summer's. About 30 minutes after I dropped her off, Summer called and said that the power was out in her complex. Great. Chris had to leave work and give Jayna her treatment. And by the time he got back, the power was back on.

This morning I went out to start the car and it wouldn't start. I tried everything...turning the wheel both ways and trying to start it, making sure it was in gear, pulling and resetting the parking brake, pushing the brake pedal...nothing worked. So I called Chris and he basically told me to try everything I'd already tried. No offense, Chris, but that wasn't really helpful. I told him he needed to come home and fix it. So he was on his way...but he continually said, "I know it's the steering wheel. It's locked. You've really gotta jerk it." (haha). And I kept saying, "I AM...AND IT ISN'T WORKING. SAY SOMETHING HELPFUL!!"

So after I hung up the phone, I very calmly put Jayna sitting in her crib with some toys and very calmly walked out to the car and very calmly opened the door and very calmly sat down in the driver's seat and very calmly put the key in the ignition and very calmly tried to turn it. Nothing. And I lost it. Had the steering wheel of the car been a living thing, it wouldn't be any longer. I took out months of frustration on that steering wheel. Multiple obscenities poured out of my mouth. I punched and hit and slapped and jerked and I'm not even sure that at that moment I cared if I did further damage. I was just so effin' pissed that the damn thing wouldn't turn on!! So I beat the living shit out of it. And cursed at it and kicked and threw a fit. And then I very calmly sat back in the seat, very calmly took a few deep breaths and very calmly turned the key. BINGO!! Turns out I just needed to show it who's boss. And now my hands are sore and probably internally bruised. But all that tension in my neck and shoulders...gone. Huh.

I went back into the house, got Jayna and headed for the door and when I got to the living room the dogs were going crazy over someone at the door. It was the guy across the street.

Guy: Are you okay? Are you having car problems?

Me: Not anymore. I seem to have fixed it for now.

Guy: Well, are you okay? My mom said she heard some swear words from our house and told me to come over and check on you. That was a hell of a freak out moment there.

Me: Yeah, been a long week.

Guy: Enough said. If you ever need car help, just ask.

Me: Or I could just kick the car's ass again...

Guy: Yeah, that's more fun.

So, things may turn around. Anything else want an ass kickin? Mess with me, I dare you...

The world doesn't suck after all.

This weekend was fabulous! For me, there isn't alot that can't be fixed with either a nap, a beer or a warm sunny 70 degree day. The weather was so perfect this past Saturday that I have a renewed outlook on the world.

On Saturday afternoon we went to the park. It isn't a playground park. The place we go to is a nature preserve park. Just trails and lots of trees and plants and stuff. Our dogs LOVE it! Well, this time we took the Jayners in the front carrier. The trails are probably okay for her jogging stroller, but I think she would have been shaken up a little too much with all the rocks and tree roots and stuff on the ground. I just put her in the front carrier facing out, Chris saddled up the boys and off we went pretty much hiking in the woods.

All sounds wonderful, right? Until about halfway through...a 20 pound baby in a front carrier feels like about 100 pounds after a half mile of walking up and down hills. I thought I was going to have to just sit down and rest a few times. I did make it through but have since decided that I will no longer be carrying my giant baby in the front carrier on hiking trails. She's just too heavy!!

We spent lots of time outside and got alot of things done like house cleaning and grocery storing. I also managed to get 2 illustrations finished and cleaned my scrap space to begin again on Jayna's album. It feels so good to actually get things done. And the sunshine sure did help alot too!

And a photo to close...

The Jayners and mommy at the park

Have a wonderful day, all!!

Small Victories: 10/3 to 10/12

This will be my last Small Victories post for awhile. I'm to a point now where most of my small victories are becoming everyday occurences. I feel like most of my small victories are now just repetetive. That being said, there are some awesome things in this last batch of wins:

Friday 10/3
* Today I decided that we'd have a trial run of me taking Jayna to Summer and leaving her ALL day. I did it! I got to Summer's by 7:45am and the went back home without Jayna. While I was home, I did NOT catch up on sleep. I did NOT sit and enjoy the quiet peacefulness of an empty house. I played music very loudly and cleaned the house top to bottom. I also worked on the tree enough to finish it by Saturday. There are 4 victories in there...getting somewhere on time, leaving my baby all day, cleaning the whole house and painting the tree. Yay, me!!

* Jayna slept good tonight for 7 hours straight.

Saturday 10/4
* Jayna slept 8 hours tonight.

* I got to sleep in until 8am...that is after a 6am feeding.

* We bought a travel swing off of Craigslist today. Now I won't have to tote the bouncy seat everyday to Summer's!

* We, of course, went to the grocery and Jayna was a saint.

* We had a very nice and relaxing bedtime tonight.

Sunday 10/5
* Today the tree went up on the wall!! It's finally finished and I have a dining room again!

* I went to the gym for 45 minutes today. Walked 3.5 mph...I need to do this more often! You know, in all my SPARE time.

* Jayna and I slept well last night.

Monday 10/6
* Today was my first day back to work. :( I was only 8 minutes late!!

* Jayna slept from 9pm to 5 am. Yay!

* I only called Summer 3 times all day. That's amazing for it being my very first day at work.

* I went to lunch with my husband!! I've missed lunchtime with him everyday.

Tuesday 10/7
* I was on time to work today...on time by the second day back!!

* I went to the gym again today. Fun times...and exhausting!

* We had a happy Jayna this evening. No fussing during dinnertime and a good bedtime.

* I froze some milk today. This is HUGE!!

Wednesday 10/8
* I was on time again today. Two days in a row?? No way!!

* We had no fussing during dinner again! I got hot dinner two days in a row!! Yum!

* Jayna slept until 5am this morning. Yay!

Thursday 10/9
* Jayna was very good on the way home today. We'd been having some fussing on the way home because she wants to eat as soon as I get to Summer's. Well, I had Summer feed her at 3pm today, so she was good until we got home.

* We had a wonderful bedtime tonight...even though I had to feed her again at 9:50pm.

* I got to watch 50 uninterrupted minutes of Grey's Anatomy. I almost made it through a whole episode!!

* I did some laundry today. That's always a victory.

Friday 10/10
* Jayna was good on the way home again.

* We had a good bedtime.

* I got some dairy free ice cream sandwiches...mint chocolate chip. And much to my surprise, they are delicious!!!

Saturday 10/11
* Grocery day...Jayna was good. I got some more dairy free ice cream called Peanut Butter Zig Zag. It's sooo good!! I'd eat this even if I could eat dairy!

* This is HUGE...Jayna didn't spit up at ALL today!! Hooray!

* Chris put Jayna to bed with a bottle tonight. She did wonderfully! Yay! Now I can leave her with a babysitter and maybe Chris and I can get out of the house!!

Sunday 10/12
* Did some laundry today. Yay...

* I got alot of computer stuff done today. I had TONS of pictures to upload to various sites. It's all done now!

* We went to the apple orchard today. It was HOT!! We got some apples, some cider and some Hoshi pears. I highly recommend the pears even if you don't like pears! They are delicious!!

* We had another wonderful bedtime tonight. This is becoming the norm. The ratio has definitely shifted from more bad to more good. And thank goodness for that!!

Small Victories: 9/26 to 10/2

Lots of victories for me this week... even a few that I'd call HUGE.

Friday 9/26
* Today I cleaned some of the house. Cleaning is always a victory. It seems that I'll just begin cleaning something and Jayna needs me.

* Jayna and I went out to lunch today!! We went to Applebee's with my mom, Summer and Chris. Jayna just slept the whole time, so it was nice to get to eat without any fussing.

Saturday 9/27
* We went to the grocery today and Jayna did great in the carrier. She seriously loves it in that thing.

* We also went to a birthday party today. Jayna stayed awake almost the whole time and she was so very social!! She let other people hold her and she didn't cry or fuss almost the whole time.

* Chris fed Jayna at the party and she did great with the bottle! She seems to be getting the hang of it now.

Sunday 9/28
* Today we went to our favorite place: Bloomington!! We decided on Friday that we needed to go and see some friends and have lunch at our favorite restaurant/bar. We had a great day!! We went to the park and Chris got to play frisbee golf with a friend. I stayed with a friend over by the playground so her kids could play. I even fed Jayna in the public park! After the park we went to lunch and I had my favorite beer Upland Wheat. It was delicious. Jayna was so good the whole time. She was even good in the car!!

Monday 9/29
* We had one month pictures today. Jayna was a crazy woman!! We did manage to get some great pictures though.

* Jayna ate well all day. No gulping and minimal spitting up after the morning. She even stayed on a predictable schedule all by herself!

* I cooked dinner today...roast and vegetables in the crock pot. It was delicious and was very hassle-free in the evening. I like that!!

* I painted alot of the tree today. Someday...

Tuesday 9/30
* I was up and ready to start the day at 5am. That's just crazy...

* Jayna slept from 9pm Monday night to 4am this morning!! Holy crap!

* Jayna and I were at Summer's by 7:45am. I never thought we could do it, but somehow we pulled it off.

* Jayna was awake almost all day...and she was so happy and smiley! I love it!

* I did a little shopping today for Jayna. She got some new onesies and a Curious George book.

* Chris and I got to eat dinner with minimal fussing tonight. It was so much more peaceful...

Wednesday 10/1
* She did it again...slept 7 hours!! Hooray!

* We were to Summer's again by 7:40am. Two days in a row!! Inconceivable!

* I got to watch the rest of Gray's Anatomy season premiere today only to learn that it isn't on tomorrow because of the Vice Presidential debate. Dammit!

* I got my hair cut and colored today. I got it cut a little shorter this time so that I can have it straight or curly. My hair hasn't seen a blow dryer since Jayna's been born, so I thought it would be wise to get it cut in an easily styled fashion.

* I left Jayna with Summer while I went to my hair appointment. Eek!

* I did some shopping today...for ME!! I got some new shirts. It's nice to get new things!

* We had a very good bedtime routine tonight. It makes things so much easier when there isn't alot of fussing before bed.

Thursday, 10/2
* Jayna and I were to Summer's by 7:50am...for the THIRD DAY in a ROW!! This is just amazing...

* I came into work this morning to see how long it would take me. I was there by 8:20am...takes about 20 minutes.

* I had my 6 week post partum doctor visit today. Jayna was a wild child while we were there...but it was a good visit. I've lost more weight than I gained while pregnant!! Hooray!

Small Victories: 9/19 to 9/25

***This is the fourth time since Friday that I've tried to write this entry...but things never go the way I want them to anymore. Hopefully I can get through it today.***

Yay!! Small victories day! Here they are...straight and to the point:

Friday 9/19
* Today I got some things done as far as blogging and computer issues. That's always a victory. It seems that everytime I begin to type, Jayna needs something.

* Jayna and I went to Hobby Lobby and BabiesRUs today. Fun times!

* Jayna slept 11pm to 5am last night.

* I got some scrapbook planning done. The great thing about that is that I actually WANT to scrapbook again. It's been awhile...

Saturday 9/20
* We had a very productive morning today. Chris and I got some cleaning done and other things around the house.

* Chris and I both got to spend some time enjoying our hobbies. He got to play guitar for awhile and I did some more planning for Jayna's scrapbooks.

* We went to the grocery today with Jayna in the carrier. She did very well...slept all the way through!!

Sunday 9/21
* Last night was HORRIBLE, so today had few small victories. We did manage to all get out of the house to go to Sam's Club. We needed a change of scenery.

* I finally got some sleep from about 5am to 10:30am. It was great!!

* Jayna did well with her bedtime routine tonight. I think it was because she was simply exhausted from being up all Saturday night and Sunday morning.

Monday 9/22
* Jayna slept 10:30pm to 3:30am and then again from 5am to 8:30am. What a tired baby!!

* Today I wore ALL pre-pregnancy clothes including jeans with a button and zipper and a belt!! It feels great to be close to the size I was before the pregnancy.

* Jayna and I went to JCPenneys and Barnes & Noble today. We got a dress for her pictures and a couple of books for mom and dad.

* Jayna managed to keep a good eating schedule today. I wish she'd do this everyday...I love that she was predictable today.

Tuesday 9/23
* Today Jayna went to the doctor. We had a very productive visit with lots of good info on how to deal with fussiness and gas. And we have a healthy little girl!

* I got a really good night's sleep last night...about 5 hours UNINTERRUPTED!! That means Jayna didn't make all sorts of sounds that I could hear over the monitor. I swear sometimes it sounds like she's building furniture in there!!

Wednesday 9/24
* I went to get my nails done today and took Jayna and Summer with me. It's nice to do something for me.

* We went to Summer's today so Jayna can begin getting used to being there. I let Summer feed her a bottle and they both did very well!! Yay!

Thursday 9/25
* Jayna and I went to Summer's again today. Jayna seems to be okay going there. I like that. It will make it easier for me to go back to work in a week. Yikes!! Only a week left!

* I left Jayna with Summer while I went to WalMart. I only left for about an hour, but it's a start. Jayna just slept the whole time, but still...I haven't left her with anyone except Chris until now.

* I froze a TON of milk today...and it's all dairy-free!! By a ton I mean about 8 ounces. Those of you who know about pumping breastmilk know that that really is a ton.

Small Victories: 9/9 to 9/18

I realized today that I haven't blogged Small Victories since Monday, 9/8/08. My plan was to keep up with them on a weekly basis. After this entry, I'll update Small Victories every Friday. These entries are important to me and help keep up my morale, so bear with me. If you don't care about my Small Victories, don't read about them! :)

Tuesday, 9/9/08
* I was up and ready to go at 8am...without having to deal with a crying baby. She slept until 8:45am, so I got to get ready and eat breakfast without holding a baby.

* Jayna ate very well today. She stayed on a schedule (every 2 hours during the day and 5 hours at night) that she set herself. And we had minimum spit up.

* Jayna is now waking on her own to eat. No more 4 hour naps during the day because I can't wake her up. It's sooo much easier when she does it on her own. I feel like a mean mom for waking her...

Wednesday, 9/10/08
* Today wasn't so great, but I did get to sit outside and drink a beer. That was very relaxing...and I like relaxing.

* I took a nap from 8pm to 9:30pm so I could be ready for the night. And it was a good thing I did this.

* I was in bed by 11:15pm...but only to get up a few minutes later. I did get to be by midnight and slept until 4am.

Thursday, 9/11/08
* I was up and ready to go again at 8am. And Jayna slept through me getting ready and me eating breakfast. Lovely!!

* We've been having fussy mornings. This morning Jayna was awake and happy (without eating) for 45 minutes!! It was very cute to see her just happy and awake.

* I got out of the house to go buy new nursing bras and hair products. It does me very good to get out of the house everyday. Staying home all day really bums me out.

* I got alot of the tree painted today. I promise I'll have it done someday. :)

Friday, 9/12/08
* Today Jayna and I got out of the house from 9:30am to 2:30pm!! It was wonderful!!

* We went to visit daddy and nana at work and the to visit Aunt Summer at home. Aunt Summer went with us to WalMart to buy diapers. This was my first trip to WalMart with Jayna...and I didn't have a panic attack!

Saturday, 9/13/08
* Today I went to get my nails done...for 2 hours BY MYSELF!!! Yes, I left Jayna and a bottle of breastmilk with Chris and left. It as weird...

* Jayna got her first bottle today. She was a little confused, but she did take it. Chris said she did okay. I'm sure it will take some getting used to.

* I went to the grocery with Chris today and had Jayna in the front carrier. She loves it in there!!

* In the late afternoon while Jayna was napping, Chris and I cleaned the entire house!! Yes, our whole house was clean at one time!! We usually vacuum and dust one day and then clean the bathrooms a few days later and so on. By the time we're done, it's time to start cleaning again! Today we got it all done at once. It was great!!

* We had some friends over today and we were able to sit outside and chat with them while Jayna was napping. It was very nice to have some adult conversation for once!

Sunday, 9/14/08
* Today, Jayna did very well with her bottle. She's catching on already!

* I got alot of tree painted today. Someday it will be finished...

* I took 3 naps today!! Wonderful!!

* Jayna slept from 11pm to 3am Monday morning!!

* Chris' mom came over for a visit today. It was nice to see her and she got to stay for awhile instead of just for 20 minutes or so. She also brought Cheddar Chex Mix for us to eat while we watched football. Delicious!!

Monday, 9/15/08
* We didn't have ANY fussing this morning!! Jayna was happy as a clam all morning!

* Jayna ate without the shield in the middle of the night!! I was so frustrated (because of clustering from 7pm to midnight) that I decided that if she wanted to eat, she was going to have to work for it...and she did!! And she hasn't done it again since...

Tuesday, 9/16/08
* Today we went to BabiesRUs and Target. Again, it was nice to get out. Jayna loves riding in the car and in the cart at stores. She likes to look around and listen to all the noise around her. She's so good when we're out and about!

* When Chris got home, we took Jayna and the dogs to the park. Chris walked both dogs and I carried Jayna in the front carrier. She really does love to be in there. I think she enjoyed being at the park also.

* Jayna actually finished her bottle today! She took all 3 ounces at once. She has been taking about 2 ounces and dozing off and then taking the other ounce about an hour later.

* Tonight we began a bedtime routine that includes bath, diaper and pj's, feeding and then sleep. We did bath at 8pm, eating at 8:15pm...and then a little fussing. But she was in bed by 9pm and asleep a few minutes after that. She slept from 9pm to 4am!! Holy crap!! What a tired baby!

Wednesday, 9/17/08
* Today we went to Meijer to buy diapers...again. Jayna was very good.

* We also went to the park and walked around the paved path. I had a few runners and dog walkers stop and tell me how cute and good she is. I love it when people tell me she's cute!!

* I did 3 loads of laundry today and had 2 folded and put away (for the most part) by the time Chris got home. That's a productive laundry day!

* I cleaned my scrapbook space today!! For the past few months, my table had become the catch-all table. When we didn't know where to put something, it got put on my table. I filed away 3 or 4 months worth of paid bills off of there and threw away a whole trash can full of garbage. Now it's ready for me to use again! I'm excited about that.

* I also left without Jayna today. Chris was feeding her and I went to pick up Applebee's for dinner. It's so weird being away from her...

* Jayna slept from 11:15pm to 5am again. It's so nice to have a few hours of uninterrupted sleep...

Thursday, 9/18/08
* Today went well. I got the house decluttered and picked up. Our house is so small that just a few things out of place make it look like it's a mess!! I got things picked up and organized which makes it feel clean!

* My mom came over for a visit today. She brought me Peeps, Reese and Snickers Halloween candy! Yummy!

* I got a ton of pictures printed and uploaded to various places yesterday. It's so hard to keep up with pictures when you have a baby!! You take so many and then you go back and look at them and they all look sort of the same (Jayna lying there asleep), but you can't bring yourself to NOT get them printed!

* I also returned a few phone calls that I've been meaning to return for a couple of weeks now. It feels good to get that sort of thing out of the way...even if I didn't get to talk to everyone I needed to talk to. :)

* Jayna also slept 11:15pm to 5am. It looks like the bedtime routine is atleast working a little bit, even if she isn't asleep by 8:30pm every night like I want her to be. It atleast keeps her awake and relaxed enough to eat well and then go to sleep. Hopefully we can keep it up!!


Wow!! When I look at things this way, I feel like I've accomplished a few things and that things aren't going so badly. I will definitely continue to keep track of these small things for awhile longer. Hopefully soon I'll get some Big Victories...

Monday, 9/8: Small Victories

I've begun living my life based on small victories. It's sort of all I have right now, so I LOVE it when I get more than one a day. Yesterday had so many small victories that I could put them all together and call it one big victory...but I sort of like having all of the small ones.

Here is a rundown of all of my small victories for yesterday/early this morning:

* We had a minimum spit up day. It may not seem like much, but when I only have to change Jayna once and I don't have to change my clothes at all, it's a good spit up day.

* I took a nap in a different room than Jayna and used the baby monitor. This was HUGE. But I did it, even though I held the monitor in my hand the whole time I slept.

* Jayna took her late afternoon nap and Chris and I were able to sit on the back patio sans Jayna and have a beer before dinner. Of course we had the monitor with us, but she slept the whole time.

* I was able to eat my WHOLE dinner while it was still HOT without feeding or holding Jayna. And it was delicious.

* I was determined that Jayna would sleep in her crib last night. I turned on her Sound Sleeper to the womb noise and she slept in her crib ALL NIGHT!!

* Jayna slept from around midnight to 4:50am. No interruptions. Hardly no monitor noise. I think I woke up twice that whole time and only checked on her once. Now, does this have something to do with my pre-dinner beer? Maybe...too bad if it does. I hope not. I'd like her to do that more often without being drunk. :)

See?? That's alot of little things that add up to a good day in my mind. My HUGE victory will be when I can get her to eat without that damn shield. Yeah, she still won't do it. I'm going to have to introduce a bottle soon and I'd like for her to breastfeed correctly before I do that. If not, oh well...but it would be nice. We'll just "keep trying."

I also bought a new bouncer seat today. It wasn't too expensive and I think it'll work out better than her other one. The one she has now sits very upright and she slides down in it and fusses. The new one will cradle her more. Here's to hoping it works...