Morgan Monday: Update

For all the regular readers, I apologize for continually updating about Morgan.  But I have to.  He is a bigger part of my life than I can ever express in words.  And he's...not well.

His legs continue to get weaker with each passing day.  There are about 2 days a week that he perks up and my sense of hope returns.  And then those days pass and we're right back to tripping, falling, whining and pain.

We are doing everything we could possibly be doing short of pushing him around in a wheel chair.  And that is no sort of life for an independent dog like Moe.  None at all.  He can't even chase a tennis ball at this time and I struggle with determining what is a GOOD quality of life for a 10-year-old large breed dog and what is crossing the line into, if he could talk, "I HATE not being able to do things."

By no means does he have one foot in the grave.  His wits are still very much about him.  He is still eating and drinking (but has to constantly circle the kitchen, take a few bites, circle again, eat again because it is seemingly painful and uncomfortable for him to stand up in place for very long).  He still likes people and appreciates some pets and some kisses and wants to be around, but really prefers to be alone.  He isn't mean, he's just...exhausted of being uncomfortable.

On Friday, he fell coming in through the sliding glass door.  His ribs hit the door jamb thingy and I'm sure that caused an additional amount of pain.  He's fallen 5 or 6 times in the past 4 days.  He can't find a comfortable position to lay.  I bought him an orthopaedic dog bed yesterday and that seems to be a little better for him.

I just don't know.  I don't know what to do.  Do I take him back to the vet?  Let nature take it's course?  Just keep hoping for the best?  I just...don't know.

I don't want him to suffer or be in pain.  I can't handle it.  And neither can he.  He deserves what's best for him...but I have NO IDEA what that is.

I'm losing a great deal of sleep over this.  I never stop thinking about it.  I wonder how he does when I'm not home. 

This is sooooo much harder than the way things went down with Maxx.  While I loved Maxx just as much as I do Moe, Maxx' condition was short and virtually pain-free.  Moe's is the exact opposite.  And we have to be here to watch it.

I can't believe I'm saying this about what some of you will call "just a dog," but please keep him (and me, for my sanity) in your thoughts.  I know he'd appreciate it as he doesn't know an enemy (unless you try to hold me hostage).  He isn't just a dog to me.  Or to Chris.  Or to Jayna.  Or to many other people and dogs that he's befriended along the way.  He's a member of my family and this is sooo completely difficult for us.

I have not shed a tear over this...but I'm thinking that is going to change very soon.