I'm doing this for a few reasons: 1. She doesn't like attention drawn to her, so I'm trying to make her extremely uncomfortable as I will post a link to this entry on Facebook. 2. She deserves to have her name here. She's been extremely supportive to me during the Moe sitch regardless of the fact that we rarely see one another. 3. She helped me in a way that she'll never understand.
I've known Katy M. for 10 years. I worked with her all too briefly when we were in college. Then she went back to her hometown which now just so happens to be my hometown. And through the magic of Facebook, we are now back in touch. Small world, huh? We didn't get too many opportunities back then to hang out as she had many friends who were way cooler than me and we were both busy with
As you all know, I've struggled in every sense of the word with my situation with Morgan. He was my first child. He was the first living thing that I was responsible for keeping alive. That's a tall order when you're a college kid with a complete lack of focus and have a million things on your mind. But with the help of Chris and some others along the way, I successfully raised him to be the most wonderfully well behaved large breed dog that ever lived. And I'll always stand by that.
Katy knew Moe when we were young. She gave me behavior solutions that helped. She gave me pointers on how to get him to eat his dog food. And she was such a sweetheart when I became obsessed with my then 8 pound little puppy. I'm not even sure if she remembers all those things, but I sure do.
Katy follows my blog and is a Facebook friend. We give each other shit through social networking, but I think we both wish we were better friends. We have lots of the same interests and live literally 5 miles from each other. We are both busy. We are both socially awkward without our Braveweiser. But I think we understand each other to the point that we'll eventually get there.
Katy had nothing but supportive and heartwarming things to say when I posted or wrote about my struggles with Morgan. She was there to the very end when I couldn't even see straight through all the heartbroken tears. But she also knew that I needed space. I'm not sure how she did it, but she just knew. She just knew.
It needs to be said that my family and my close friends that I see on a regular basis and even ones that I haven't seen for years were also outstanding during this time. I recieved numerous cards and messages reassuring me that I did what was best for Morgan and that he was in a better place. Laura brought me a latte and a very nice card that brought the tears the day we put Morgan to sleep. KT was there through all of this too. She has listened to me go on for HOURS about my dog. My mom talked to me about being unselfish in Moe's time of need and told me that I was doing a very good job of that. There were so many of you all that played a role in my grieving that I'd never be able to mention you all. Just know that I appreciate every single message in any form that I received.
Last week I received a Facebook message from Katy asking me if I'd be home over the weekend so she could bring me something. We eventually worked out a plan that she'd let me know when she was coming and if we ran into one another, great, but if not she'd leave whatever it was she had for me hanging on my door. I assumed it was a photo frame for a picture of Moe. That was all my brain would allow me to think. And I was partly right.
There was a flat box in the bag also. It was cardboard and I was confused. And when I opened it:
Katy hacked my Facebook and blog pictures and had a calendar made entitled "A Year of Moe."
There aren't words.
There are, but they won't do the situation justice. I guess I can try.
The thing about this calendar isn't that it was photos of Moe. It wasn't that it was from someone unexpected.
It was because someone understood. She wasn't asking me how I was doing. She wasn't telling me that things were going to be okay. She wasn't trying to put her message into words like I am now.
She understood, just like she had through the entire situation, that I just needed someone to acknowledge that this whole thing wasn't about me and my well-being. Someone to acknowledge him for all the outstanding and wonderful things he did for me. For his family and for his friends. It needed to be about him. And she got that. Somehow or another, she got it.
And I've turned a corner. I've stopped going to bed at 9pm because I'm overwhelmingly tired of hearing myself think. I can now focus on other things. I like to run again. I put more effort towards everything in my life. I feel like a better me. Like I've come out of a haze and I can finally see clearly. She made me realize that regardless of how many friends I think I DON'T have, I actually have an amazing support system that will help me through life.
And, most importantly, I can look back on Morgan's LIFE and see all the GOOD things that happened instead of only see his DEATH and all the BAD things that accompanied it.
Thank you, Katy M. You are quite literally a lifesaver.
2 comments:
That is really sweet, Katy!
Oh, shoot. This made me tear up. You two...
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