ToT: The Most Difficult Entry of My Life

(I thought this would be hilarious for some of you...I'm live blogging with Jayna sitting next to me.  I will intermittently insert her comments in red throughout the entry.  That way those of you who don't have kids can get a glimpse into what it's like to try to accomplish a task with a 3-year-old in the room.)

I know.  It's Wednesday.  And it may even make it to Thursday before I hit the PUBLISH button. 

And also:  Not just the most difficult.  Probably the longest.  But I think if you all really THINK about the topic, you'd have a difficult and soul searching experience also.

Mommy...I'm thirsty.

TOPIC:
"According to the Happiness Project, some people theorize we are happiest doing what we loved when we were kids, say age 10. So…what were you doing at age 10 that you LOVED? Are you doing that now? If so, how, and how does it impact your daily happiness? If not, how can you bring some of that back into your life?"

**And if, like me, you had absolutelynofreakinidea what the Happiness Project is, then use this link. 

I have several reasons for posting late this week.  I don't think it is any sort of secret that I do a little of my blogging at work.  I think if it as my "smoke breaks."  I don't smoke.  Those who do take SEVERAL 15 minutes breaks a day to kill themselves.  I take a few minutes a day to blog.  We'll call a truce and call them both "stress relievers" and/or "productivity boosters."

Mommy...can we get a new app?  And also, I'm hungry now.  I want that cheese mix stuff.  With the pretzels and Doritos.  And I didn't want apple juice.  I wanted lemonade.  What are you doing?  What's a blog? Can I help?

My point with that above paragraph is that I have been swamped at work.  I've not taken more than probably 10 minutes per day to do anything but work (that may or may not include the amount of time I've had to, you know, go pee).  And that's the way it should be.  I am not complaining by any means.  I LOVE to be busy.  It makes my days fly by.  It's just that sometimes that makes my blog entries late. 

Mommy...can you get me a wipe?  My hands are cheesy.  And I have cheesy hair.  And now I have cheesy lemonade hair.  Gross, huh?  I'll lick it off, don't worry.

Mommy...can I play iPad again?

Also?  Home life is nuts too.  Chris and I have decided that we are ABSOLUTELY SICK AND DING DONG TIRED of this house, so we're cutting ALL costs that aren't what we call necessary or already commitments to save more money to move in a timely manner.  This means we come home for lunch and eat at home on ALL days.  This makes housework a little more time consuming, but already we're seeing a difference in the bank.  It's simply amazing!!  BUT...I do dishes a MILLION times a day. 

Okay, probably once.  But really?  Who the hell actually WASHES dishes once a day?  And that's on top of running our dishwasher that is packed to the gills everyday.  But we aren't wasting a speck of food and we're saving money.  It's a win-win in my eyes.

And it isn't just dishes that are causing me to be super busy.  There are other things.  Things that I'll discuss when I'm not trying to procrastinate writing what I've deemed The Most Difficult Blog Entry I've Ever Written Including Those Times I Wrote About Thinking I Was A Horrible Mother To My Newborn Baby.

So...there's all the junk that is UNRELATED to the topic.  Let's get to the actual entry.

I asked several people about this topic as I've known of it's coming for awhile.  And I got almost the exact same response from EVERY SINGLE PERSON I ASKED:

"Age 10?!?  I don't even REMEMBER age 10!!!"

Well, atleast I wasn't in the minority.

Mommy...look at my cookie!!!!  It's chocolate chip!!!  And I put peas on and butter on top of it!!!  (Oh, the joys of the Easy Bake Oven app...the only one that can turn my stomach.)

My next step was to look up what actually happened in 1990.  What was popular?  What songs?  Television?  Movies? 

What were my findings?

Some of my all-time favorite things were popular that year!!  Home Alone is STILL in my top ten movies.  Other movies were Dick Tracy (LOVE IT), Pretty Woman (can't believe adults let me watch it at 10), TMNT The Movie (loved it as a kid), and Edward Scissorhands. 

Music was a little more...interesting.  MC Hammer.  Vanilla Ice.  NKOTB.  Good gravy.  I LOVED all that music (and interestingly enough, I still do), but it was a rough year for music.

And then it all started to come back to me.  I played Barbies at Leah's house a LOT.  I played Ouija board.  I listened to New Kids On The Block.  I had a pillow with Jon Knight on it.  I rode my bike and played kickball.  I had millions of WZPL's Hot Nine at Nine taped on cassette tapes.  I was attached to my walkman.  I was...well, I was pretty awesome.

What's that say, mommy?  What is Vanilla Ice?

But things were still missing from my memories.  So, naturally being a glutton for punishment, I asked my mom for some pictures of me from when I was 10 years old. 

JUSTIN BEAVER, those are some ugly shorts!!  And was I trying to be Steve Urkel?!?

Who is that?!?  I like her hair.

I obviously didn't worry about fashion when I was 10, so we can rule THAT out as something that made me happy at that age.  Also?  Doing my hair.  We can safely rule that out.  But in my defense, my hair was a bitch to deal with, even at 10.

What this picture DOES remind me of is that I played outside a LOT.  I remember being carefree.  Now THAT is a great feeling.  And that brown van belonged to Uncle Wayne.  I traveled to Florida in that van what seemed like hundreds of times in my childhood.  It was a sweet ride back then. :)

Are you underwater?!?  Why are there fishes up there?!?  WEIRD!

(At this point I stopped writing to have dinner and go to tumbling class.  No more Jayna comments.)

YES, people.  That is me at 10 STILL holding my blankie.  So sue me.  Whatevs.

This was at my Aunt Linda and Uncle Wayne's house.  I remember everything about this picture.  I remember the smell of that house.  I remember that couch.  I remember the sleep shirt I have on.  It has a silly looking bunny on it who is wearing sunglasses and holding a teddy bear. 

I spent loads of time with Linda and Wayne.  They were my second set of parents.  They had a giant inground pool, so I was also spending loads of time swimming.  When I was young, I was a fish.  From the time they opened their pool until the time the closed it, I was in that dang pool.  I could swim unassisted at the age of 4 because of that pool. It holds some of my greatest (and worst...READ:  broken nose) childhood memories.

And there it is.  The NKOTB shirt.  Behind me and to your left is Tracy, my childhood neighbor.  She was a few years older than me (I think 3), but we always had a good time.  I'm not really sure what's going on in this photo past the dancing, but we do look like we're having fun.  Tracy's mom Judy took this picture.  Judy was also like a mom.  I miss them.

I spent a LOT of time at the Wheeler house.  Dancing.  Watching television.  Talking.  Doing hair.  I think Tracy was the person who introduced me to makeup.  I remember having fun there.  And I remember knowing that I always had a friend in Tracy.

That bike.  That was one of my prized possessions.

If I am not mistaken, I received that bike as a birthday gift.  I may be wrong though.  I rode the dang tires off that bike.  We had a long paved driveway (see it behind me?) so we had plenty of space out of the street to ride our bikes.  Until we got older, we weren't allowed to ride in the street. 

This picture here provokes a feeling of peace.  I'm not sure why.  But when I look at it, I remember feeling loved and cared for and like I had everything in the world that I needed.  And it is important for kids to feel that way. 

Oh yeah...and insert more jokes about my fashion sense. :)

In this picture, I'm actually just 9 days short of being 10.  This was my mom and stepdad's wedding day.  It was less than momentous as it was the second marriage for both of them and a very small event.  When I commented to my mom yesterday, "Mom...there isn't hardly anyone at your wedding!"  Her response was, "I only needed ONE person to show up...and he did.  That's all that matters."  :)

This picture reminds me of so many more things than my parents' wedding.  It reminds me of the mornings of my parents' anniversary for years to come that my stepbrothers, brother and I would get up and cook the parents breakfast in bed (they never actually ATE it in bed, though) for their anniversary.  It reminds me of that stupid flower arch we made for my cousin's wedding.  It reminds me of jet skis and houseboats and all sorts of things that aren't specifically from my 10-year-old days, but just days of my childhood.


Aaaaaannnnndddd....what was I doing at 10 years old that made me happy?  I was being a kid.

But more than that, I was DOING things.  I was riding my bike and swimming and dancing and all sorts of physical activities.

So maybe therein lies my answer.

Maybe I need to DO more things.  I don't mean PLAN them and then allow the plans to get ruined.  I don't mean go to the stinkin' gym and get on the treadmill.  I sure as hell wasn't doing THAT at age 10!!!  I was doing FUN physical activities!!

DO more. 

PLAN less.  Talk less.  Complain less.  Stress less.  Sit less.  Pretty much do LESS of all the things that adults do to themselves.  And think more like a child.

DO.  DO DO DO.  DO. 

How can I incorporate this into my life?  I think I've answered this.  All of the things that I did as a child are things that my kid loves to do.  We have atleast one dance party in the living room a week.  And you know what?  I'm sooo freakin' happy when I'm doing that!  It helps that it's with her. 

Also?  To make myself happier, I can make sure Jayna gets to do all of these things.  That she gets to be a carefree kid.  That she gets to swim and ride bikes and play Barbies and all sorts of things.  I want her to have the same nostalgic feelings of childhood that I do.

So...what were YOU doing at 10 years old?  Are you still doing it?  Why or why not?!?

I've added a list in the right sidebar of the other ToT bloggers.  There are 8 of us now (soon to be 9)!!!  Use the links and see what makes THEM happy.