This isn't about global warming or bad drivers.

Yesterday I was on my way home from Target and I was behind a moron of a driver with this bumper sticker...verbatim:  "GLOBAL WARMING????   Its the sun stupid!!!"

This post isn't about global warming or bad drivers. 

And it isn't about me being right or wrong. 

It's about simple grammar paired with this quotation:  "It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

People need to learn from this quote.  Who knows who really said it.  It is attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln and someone named Percy Bysshe Shelly.  (Damn those websites that allow users to enter content!!  Thanks wikipedia for starting that trend.  But THAT rant is an entirely different blog post all together.)

So, I'm behind this assbag for a few miles.  And there is one thing that is bugging the shit out of me.  It isn't that he/she was driving a pickup truck with a camper shell that was 3 sizes too small making it completely useless.  It wasn't that he/she appeared to know nothing about green meaning go and red meaning stop.  And it wasn't that he/she thought stopping and going at a four-way stop was more difficult that rocket-effing-science.  So...can anyone tell me what it was??

Those of you who know me well enough will know that it was that one missing apostrophe.  "Its the sun stupid!!!"  Both times that I've typed that I've had to go back and remove the apostrophe to make it incorrect.  Isn't it maybe third grade when we learn the use of the apostrophe in grammatical contractions?  The apostrophe goes where the letter has been omitted, right??  RIGHT!!

I had very rigid English/Language Arts teachers in middle school and high school.  They all were sticklers for grammar.  And I agree.  Children AND adults should know proper grammar.  This is one area of life that should be paid some attention to detail.

So, here is my message to you, moronic driver:  If you plan on making a statement on your piece of shit truck that, in a moronic way, debunks a climatic phenomenon that may or may not exist, then your grammar should be correct.  If you believe that you are intelligent enough to know the difference between the sun and the depletion of our ozone layer (and that NO OTHER PERSON, educated or not, has thought of this theory), then USE THE EFFIN' APOSTROPHE!!  Appear that you are smart enough to know the difference between "its" and "it's" so that maybe, JUST MAYBE, some impressionable mind (who ALREADY knows the difference between the two because said impressionable person is atleast 16 years of age and probably went to atleast the third grade) will get on board with your "it's the sun" theory.  If you continue to leave out the apostrophe, those who know grammar but know nothing about global warming will realize that you are a slack-jawed, ignorant redneck who probably wears a shirt that says, "Speak English or go home!" and will never join your "it's the sun" campaign. 

And had you not had this bumper sticker, I may or may not have thought that you were just having a bad driving day.  I would've also made up a viable story to explain why your camper shell was null and void.  But since you have the sticker, I am standing by my initial "you are just a stupid moron" prognosis.

I'm just saying.

And this isn't about global warming or bad drivers.