ToT: What the hell is a handbasket?

Topic:
People often say that our country is going/has gone to 'hell in a handbasket'...do you agree? If so, what do you think is driving this...politics, changing family values, something else? Or, do you feel like we are generally doing okay considering things going on in other parts of the world?

I'd just like to say that it is officially 3 days after Tuesday.  And not ONE of the ToT-ers has posted regarding this topic. 

Sure, one just had twins.  And one has lots of kids and a full time job.  One is in the military and is very busy with training.  And one has been laid up this week with a crazy weird thing going on.  But still.  I am the first.

I spoke in person (I KNOW, RIGHT?!?) with fellow ToT-er Michelle last night and she asked me, "Have you written your ToT post yet?"  When I told her I hadn't and that the reason was because I don't really know where to go with it, she responded with, "Yep, me too!!  I keep thinking, 'I don't want to go there!!!'"

I'm glad I'm not alone.

But I trudge on.  And I try to tackle the difficult stuff.  All in the name of ToT.

There is no easy answer to this question.  And I have approximately 75 answers that go down several different avenues.

I think for most people, the answer to this question boils down to just a few factors.  1.  Age.  2.  Children  3.  Political involvement and/or non-involvement.  And then there is also a heirarchy that goes with each of those 3 things.  Damn...I should just draw a flow chart. 

BUT...even with all that being said above, I believe that our perception of the world comes down to one thing:  THE AMOUNT OF INFORMATION THAT IS READILY AVAILABLE TO US AT THIS POINT IN HISTORY.

Think of a pyramid.  The food pyramid (which has now been replaced with a plate...guess that shows my age a bit), Maslow's Hierarchy, whatever pyramid you want to think of, and place the three things I named above near the top.  Those three things can be broken down into more specific things.  At the very tip top, place "Information Readily Available About ANY Subject."

Don't get me wrong here.  Ignorance is NOT bliss.  Knowledge IS power.  But COMMON SENSE seems to be anything but common these days.

There is no denying that the older we get, the more aware we become of certain things.  We develop ideas and opinions of (hopefully) our own instead of just blindly believing in what our parents tell us to.  Many of us become aware of politics and choose a side.  Many of us have children..and BELIEVE YOU ME that having children GREATLY changes a person's view of the world.

We start watching the news.  We read the newspaper.  We have adult friends with whom we openly discuss our world views.  We become...informed.  And while being informed is an outstanding and liberating idea, I do believe that there is a such thing as being OVER informed (read:  MISinformed).

Let's use Facebook as an example.  Election season is upon us and people are coming out of the woodwork to declare their allegiance to whoever the next patsy is that will become our president.  Sorry, kids.  They are ALL patsies.  I know many of you will disagree with me.  But there isn't one president who took this nation and made it great ALL alone and made it great for ALL of us at the same time.  There is always someone or another pulling those puppet strings.  That's just the way it is.

As I scroll through my newsfeed, I'm bombarded by links to news articles about all types of political peoples doing ridiculous and stupid things and saying crap that should NEVER be said by anyone, let alone by someone who'd like people to vote for him/her.  Now answer me a question:  DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE FIRST YEAR, FIRST ELECTED OFFICIAL, FIRST PERSON EVER, FIRST ANYTHING, WHO HAS DONE AND/OR SAID SOMETHING OF THIS NATURE?

You bet your ass it isn't.  This may be the eleventybillionth time someone did something like this.  It's just that now we all know about it 24/7/365 through millions of outlets.  And we really can't get away from it.  If you're on Twitter, you see it.  If you're on Facebook, you see it.  If you're on Youtube, you see it.  If you're on Pinterest, you see it.  Television, radio, internet, people talking in a restaurant.  IT'S EVERYWHERE.  And we can't escape.  This isn't the first time it's happened.  It's just the first time that we've all been informed of it in a million different ways mere seconds after it actually happens.

Politics isn't the only victim of this flood of information.  Try raising a kid these days.  There are no less than 80 million websites telling you everything from how to tell if your child will be autistic at the age of 3 months to how to potty train a kid by one year old to how to deal with a growth spurt to how to...how to...how to...  And a whole other lot of "Don't do" websites/blogs.  And a whole other lot of "You're a horrible person if you do/don't do" websites/blogs. 

And if you aren't internet savvy?  Go to the library.  Everyone and their effing brother has written a book (including the ever-famous/batshit crazy Jenny McCarthy) about raising children.  (Sidenote: Here is my piece of propaganda for the decade.  Don't be overly sensitive here.  I OPENLY SAID that it was propaganda.  But I still think it's interesting.)  Hell, I think I'm going to write a book about raising kids!!!  I've raised one to 4 years old and she's still alive, so I'm pretty much an expert, right?!?

My point in all of this is that I have NO idea if the world is going to hell in a handbasket.  And by the way, what does that even really mean?!?  If there is going to hell in a handbasket going on, then it's not because of the world.  It's because of...US.  People.  Humans.  You and me.

We don't know how to do anything on our own.  My mom raised me in a time where the internet didn't even exist.  She read NO books about parenting and/or raising children.  And here I sit, a good head on my shoulders, NOT in therapy from her screwing me up and raising a child of my own!!!  Praise the Lord!!!  People CAN do things without being so informed that it is truly a handicap!!!

We don't know what to think.  We don't know how to process information and make informed personal decisions without the help of media outlets.  And for me in particular, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IS ACTUALLY TRUE IN THIS FLOOD OF INFORMATION.  Am I alone there? 

We don't even know how to take care of babies.  I firmly believe in the motherly instinct.  I really do.  I think it is programmed in us to know how to raise kids.  But good grief...we're all standing around doubting ourselves and our abilities because Dr. Sears said breastmilk is best. 

Y'all...we KNOW how to do this.  We KNOW how to make informed decisions.  We KNOW how to DO THINGS!!!  And most of all, we KNOW how to use the BRAINS IN OUR HEADS!!!!!  Or do we?

The world itself hasn't changed much in my opinion.  It's people who've changed.  We've lost our way.  And it's crippling.

When I was younger, I told people that I didn't want any children because it would be very difficult to raise a kid in this world that we live in today.  And then I looked around.  And it suddenly became my CIVIC FREAKIN' DUTY to raise a functioning member of society.  If we don't teach kids how to NOT send the world to hell in a handbasket, THEY WON'T KNOW.  Simple as that.

So...what do we do?!?  We raise the next generation.  We do good by our families, our kids, our communities.  We become the change we want to see (Thanks, Ghandi).  We trust in ourselves.  And most of all, we do all of this with compassion and understanding and a helpful hand.

And this too shall pass.

Every Picture Tells a Story

I like to take pictures.  And then never upload them to the blog.  It sort of fits with my lazy procrastinator sitch.  That would explain why I'm about 6 months behind on my Six Pix posts.  Umhmm.

So...anyhoozy.  Here are some phone pics. 

Only in America, people!! A product called Forever Lazy. It even has a zippered flap on the butt and a two-way zipper on the front so you can do ALL of your business without taking it off. Matching slipper socks included.

  So I was in Best Buy yesterday and THIS was on the shelf next to some curling irons that will apparently make you look like Bella or that other nameless, faceless chick from Twilight. Really, people?? We're now marketing flat irons to dudes with the word "Sparkle" on the box? I also love how it's a "detailer" and not a flat iron. The person who came up with this marketing strategy needs to be fired. Immediately.

We get to watch all of Jayna's dance classes through a big window.  There are pros and cons to this.  The pro is that it is the funniest thing EVER to watch little girls do dancing.  The con?  Well, I get to see all the weird things Jayna does in a crowd of little girls.  These things include but are not limited to picking nose, pulling skirt up to under armpits, pulling skirt all the way off, wearing skirt like toga, picking 87,421.5 wedgies out, playing with hair barrette.  And the best thing is that ALL THE OTHER PARENTS CAN SEE HER TOO.  (I'll leave out all the disgusting/hilarious/weird things that all the other little girls do that I can see also.)  On this particular day, she had yanked her skirt up to her armpits and the dad sitting next to me completely lost it.  I thought he was going to fall out of his chair.  So I stood up, did the 2 fingers to my eyes to her (the "I'm watching you" sign) and then motioned THRU the glass this EXACT sentence, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, LEAVE THE DAMN SKIRT ALOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!"  It obviously embarrassed her.  So she gave me the sassy/sad combo to make me feel bad.  It didn't work...mostly because that made the dad next to me laugh even harder.

This was the first day of jazz class.  She pays more attention in this class than she did in ALL her other classes combined.  Here she is learning to gallop to the side.  Whatever that's called in jazz, I haven't the slightest idea.

She found these goggles in my brother's basement the day we went to my nephew's birthday party.  Jayna is very good about sharing.  NOT THESE GOGGLES.  I don't know why, but she attached herself to the goggles and wouldn't let anyone else have them.  Her Aunt Summer even let her take them home.  She still wears them from time to time when she "fixes her toys."

This is our Christmas tree.  We had to buy a new one this year because most of the lights on our old one shorted out this year.  I was nervous that the tree would catch on fire and then all Jayna would ever remember about Christmas would be "that year our Christmas tree and all the decorations and presents went up in flames."  I can't take that chance, so new tree it was. 

Jayna and I made these reindeer pops.  I saw the picture on Pinterest and this was my thought process:  "All we'd have to do is melt some chocolate and dip the marshmallow on a stick in there and then poke the pretzel antlers in and put on the nose and eyes and VOILA!!  Reindeer.  Quick for Jayna's attention span and easy for my sanity."  Um...no.  Do you know what happens if you dunk a room temperature marshmallow in piping hot chocolate sauce??  THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS.  And do you know what happens if you try to poke pretzels into a marshmallow?  IT JUST FALLS RIGHT OUT OF THERE.  And then if you try and put the eyes and the nose on there too quickly before the chocolate is hardened a bit?  THEY SLIDE RIGHT OFF.  He's so special though. :)

For those of you who know me, it takes more than a little marshmallow melting/antler falling off/eyes and nose sliding off to discourage me and to make me scrap a craft project.  So I perservered and made some changes to my methods and got them looking like this one by the third one.  I think they're adorable.  And tasty as all get out!! (I'm channeling my mom there.)

Here she is practicing one of the many ballet type moves that I don't know the name of.  You'd think after umpteen years of French in high school and then 4 years of Latin in college that I'd be able to pronounce and remember a few foreign words.  Well...you thought wrong.  The truth is that the moment Jayna told me she hated ballet, I quit listening to what the moves were called.  I had NO IDEA they'd come back to haunt me in jazz class.  That'll learn me.

She just tries so hard to pay attention and do what the teacher is doing.  But do you see those 3 kids back there in the corner?  They're crazy and distracting and Jayna always somehow gets stuck in between them or around them or something.  If my kid were acting like a lunatic and never listened to a teached, I'd yank her outta there so fast and give her a good talking to.  But no.  That takes effort on the part of these teenybopper parents.

We went to BDubs with my dad last weekend and Jayna decided to play marker cap fingers.  Then she randomly looked at me and said, "Mommy, take my picture.  It will be funny because of my marker fingers."  And so I did.  And it was good. :)

What have y'all been up to?  I love how each of these photos brought a story.  It makes me smile to share my ridiculously mundane life with you people.  I'll try and give you photos with weird stories more often.  Shouldn't be too hard...I love a weird story. :)

Five for Friday: I don't even know.

I really don't have time to blog anymore. 

I feel bad because this is my main source of recording memories since I've taken a hiatus from scrapbooking.  You know, because I didn't have time to do that either.

We won't mention the fact that there is so much random shit stacked up in my scrapbook area that I can't even access most things.  Oh...and the paid bills that need to be filed and the old bills I pulled out to shred to make more room for the paid bills that need to be filed.  This could go on and on and on...but I won't bore you with the details.

Anyhooters, I feel like I should atleast update y'all on all the crazy junk that goes on at my house.  As if you care about that. :)

• Jayna has been sick.  She has a sinus infection.  I was home with her most of the day on Monday.  Since Halloween only comes once a year, we let her go trick-or-treating to about 10 houses.  She'd had enough after that and she had a really bad night.  I ended up staying home with her on Tuesday also.  When Chris came home on Tuesday, he went STRAIGHT outside to clean up leaves.  I, on the other hand, remained in the house with the kid.  Jayna wanted to go outside and since it was 70 degrees outside...I LET HER.  SICK AND ALL.  We were going crazy.  Seriously.  On Wednesday, I went back to work.  I was ecstatic.  While I enjoy the fact that I have a job that is flexible enough so I can stay home with a sick kid, after a few days with Whiney McWhinester, I'm ready to cry.  When I picked Jayna up from school, she threw a fit before we were even out of the parking lot.  When we got home, I set her up in the living room with her toys and a show and then I promptly lifted the glass in the screen door and went outside to rake leaves.  I had to be away.  Just...away.  When Chris came home, he made fun of me for using a regular rake instead of our leaf blower/mulcher/vac.  He said, "Just go in.  I'll finish this."  I looked him right in the eye and said, "I'M NOT GOING IN THERE."  He apparently understood what was going on and quickly showed me how to use the leaf vac. I stayed out there until 6:30pm.  And I vacuumed a pile of leaves into the shape of boobs.  Don't worry...they had on a bra.
• Jayna got a Fisher Price kid's camera for Christmas last year.  It was...well, let's just say that it doesn't work the way Jayna wants it to.  It doesn't have a flash and the lighting in our house sucks, so most things she takes a picture of (read:  the black and very quick dog Ollie) just look like a blur.  Also?  The button you push to take the pictures fell off and we have to keep putting it back on.  Also?  I have to change the batteries in it after every 15 pictures or so.  Well, last week, she was trying to take a picture of a bug on the screen door.  It was dark outside.  She kept taking the picture and then looking at the screen of the camera to see if she got a good picture.  They all just looked like black pictures.  She got so mad that she couldn't even form a sentence.  She threw the camera down on the floor and this is what I got from her:  "Mommy, that dang camera!!  It...I can't...all my pictures don't work.  I can't see the bug...I...THAT DANG CAMERA!!!  It is....the button broke....and the batteries...why are the batteries out?  You changed 'em 1 day ago...THAT DANG CAMERA, MOMMY!!!"  It was really sad and really funny at the same time.  I simply said, "Yes, I know, Jayna.  That camera hasn't worked right since you got it."  She looked up at me very satisfied and said, "Yeah, mommy!!!  You're right!!  I'm gonna tell that to Santa."  I'm glad I can be there for her to help her express herself. :)
• Jayna thinks that the singular of ear wax is ear whack.  This is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard.  Seriously.  She tells me, "Mommy, I think I have a whack in my ear."  And I die laughing every. Single. Time.  That is all.
• Jayna's new speech patterns include "I would like..."  or "Would you like..."  It makes me proud because I've been trying to teach her that for sometime.  Instead of, "Mommy, I want a snack!!!"  I make her ask me again like this:  "Mommy, I would like a snack, please."  Now, I don't expect her to do this all the time or anything, but I think it's important that she know how to speak in a proper way.  And she's learning.  Now she says everything that way.  "Mommy, I would like pizza for dinner."  "Mommy, would you like to color with me?"  "Daddy, would you like to dance with me?"  It's pretty cute. :)
• Jayna has been making the decisions of which toys she wants to "give to the babies" when she gets some new things for Christmas.  I have been explaining to her that she is getting bigger and likes different things than she did when she was little.  And since she doesn't play with some of her toys anymore, that maybe she could give some of them to other kids who would actually play with them.  Well, she interpreted that to mean that all the toys she gets rid of are going directly to little babies.  She regularly brings me things and says, "Mommy, I don't play with this anymore.  Can we give it to the babies?"  It's pretty funny.  I'm glad she's learning the idea of charity, but I'm not sure how to explain to her that all of her things aren't going to a rogue group of babies.  I think I'll leave that one alone for now.  There will be time to explain all that when she's older.

That's all I have.  You?

Five for Friday: The Rapture and Subsequent End of Days

I have done my homework.  I know all about the rapture on Saturday and the end of the world to come 5 months later. 

I know about the earthquakes and the dead bodies and the zombies and the aliens and...oh, wait.  I *may* be exaggerating about some of that.  But would it really be anymore or any less believable if I added in zombies and aliens??

No?  Yeah, I didn't think so either.

"Now, if you keep talking like that, you're definitely NOT going to heaven.  You'll have to deal with all those dead bodies and locusts and stuff."

Well, I have unfinished business here...and I'd rather be left here on earth amongst the death and destruction and be surrounded by my family/friends/posse/homies/bitches/whatever than to go to heaven with a bunch of people I don't even really know. 

In the name of trying to stay positive, there are certain things that I would absolutely NOT miss if the world ended. 

And I present to you...Five for Friday:  Things I won't miss if the world ends.

1. Taylor Swift.  ALL of her songs are about the same thing.  They all sound the same.  They all SUCK MAJOR ASS.  I'm starting to think Kanye was onto something there.  Okay, no I'm not, because he's a douche...but still.  She bugs me with her tiny head and her GIGANTIC hair that looks like a wig.  Am I the only one who thinks that?  That her hair looks like a wig?  I can't be the only one.  Right?  RIGHT?!?
2. Spam email from companies trying to sell me Viagra.  I could go on and on about this, but since I try to keep it clean around here (Oh, C'MON!!!  I didn't say spotless!!!), I'll let it be.  If I wanted to get ahold of some Viagra, the last thing I'd do is give my credit card number to a dude who lives in a country that I'm pretty sure doesn't even exist.  I'd just break into the pharmacy and steal it like a regular person.
3. Twitter hashtags.  #effingridiculous.  That is all.
4. Dora The Explorer.  Of all the cartoon characters, including Spongebob, I want to punch her in the face the most.  If Jayna requests a Dora cake for her birthday, it will officially be the first time I tell her no after giving her a choice.  Watching that show is so excruciating.  Seriously.
5. The phrase, "Just saying."  Wouldn't it be the icing on the cake if, in 5 months, we were all just standing around in the rubble and out of the sky we heard, "Just saying!!!"  and then a fireball crashed down on us and it all just ended?  I'm pretty sure that God would appreciate the humor in that.

What will you NOT miss??

Want Kool Aid??

Sorry...no sugar.

Raise your hand if you've seen the movie Friday.

A few of you?  Good.

I've seen that movie no less than 683 times.  No joke.  I know approximately 89% of the entire script.  I love it.  And if I had more time and didn't have an impressionable toddler, I'd probably still try to fit it in once (maybe twice) a week.  Oh yeah...and if I did that, I'd also have to want to be single.  Because Chris would ABSOLUTELY not stand for that.

Anyhoozy, there is a part where Criag's friend Smokey wants to make some Kool Aid.  When he learns that Craig's household is out of sugar, he spews this rant (to the best of my recollection):

"Y'all ain't never got two things that match!  Kool Aid, no sugar.  Peanut butter, no jelly.  Ham, no burger.  Daaammmnn!!!!!"

Well, faithful blog readers...that's my brain right now.  It hasn't one single conversation/story/thought that goes with any other one.  Except for the above story, of course...seeing how it has NOTHING to do with anything.

So, in light of having ham and no burger, I offer you this random list of all things random:

• Jayna asked for jelly toast for dessert a few nights ago.  I tried to gently persuade her:  "How about we have jelly toast for breakfast in the morning and have pudding or something for dessert?"  Her response?  "How about you just listen to me and I'll have jelly toast for dessert AND for breakfast in the morning?"  I suppose I should "just listen."
• I am running the Mini Marathon in 2 days.  Less than 48 hours.  My stomach just turned over as I typed that.  I've learned that I am not at liberty to wear headphones to listen to music...that music will be playing along the course.  I'm not sure how I'll handle not wearing headphones.  I'm sure I'll be fine, but it may take a few miles to get used to it.
• I'm surprised that I didn't get more questions/comments regarding my last blog post.  The Jayna blog posts are usually the most popular ones.
• I know it's normal for a child to have an imaginary friend, but is it normal for a child to have an imaginary GROUP of friends?  Almost like an army?  Jayna has a group of imaginary friends around 9 large.  And they color so pretty, she says.  I....am speechless.
• Last night at the dinner table, Jayna continually played in her food.  I finally raised my voice and said, "Jayna!!!  Stop playing in your food!!!"  She pointed her fork at me and said, "Mommy, you don't talk to me that way."  I just looked at her.  She followed with, "We don't say those words, mommy."  I didn't even know how to respond to that. 
• I need to learn how to get my Instagram photos off of my phone without syncing my phone to a computer.  And in related news, if you're an iPhone user and don't use FREE Instagram, you're missing out.  Get it immediately in the App Store.
• I hope my plants didn't get frostbitten last night.  I forgot to bring them in.  And in related news, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE EFFING WEATHER???  Seriously.  A Facebook friend posted yesterday, "Have we finally effed up the world so much that the weather will NEVER be normal again?"  I'm starting to believe that is true.
• What will I do with myself after the Mini???  Oh, right.  Make tons of awesome cupcakes.  And refinish old furniture.  And paint.  And plant things. :)

And I'll leave you with this:

One of my new favorite websites is Some Ecards.  By now, y'all know my sense of humor.  If you like the sarcastic, most-of-the-time-rude-and-always-inappropriateness of it, then you, too, will love this website.  You should all expect to be getting some of these from me in the near future.

Who WOULDN'T want to live that long??

In college, Cinco de Mayo was our favorite holiday.  Drinking for seemingly no reason.  Oh, wait....

Who'd a thunk it?!?  I'm outdoorsy after all!!!

Here's wishing you all a happy Thursday. :)  

Mishmash Monday: Updates Out the Wahzoo

I don't know if that's how you spell "wahzoo."  I'm sure it isn't and that someone will correct me.  I'm sure of it.

I'm also not sure if "mishmash" is one word or two words.  I'm sure the same person who knows about "wahzoo" knows.  So they'll be able to kill two birds with on stone.

TEN DAYS.  That's how long it's been since I've blogged.  A long ass time. 

And to be honest, it's been because I just haven't felt like doing it.  Yes...I've been busy.  Yes...I've been preoccupied.  And yes...I've been busy.  Wait...did I....nevermind.  I don't really know what's going on. 

I have lots of things to say from the past 10 days.  Most of them probably deserve their own posts.  But not all of them will get that.  I'll do a Jayna post tonight or tomorrow because my kid is the most awesome kid I know and she always deserves her own posts (hell, at this point, she could probably narrate them for me to type.  She's a smart and sassy kid.).  But all the rest of this shiz is going in a bulleted list.  That's just my style.

• Interesting...I pushed the "bullet list" button up at the top of my blog post page and I suddenly forgot what I wanted to put in my bulleted list.  It's as if the pressing of the "bullet" button erased my memory.  Like in Men In Black.  I always thought it would be really helpful to have a neuralizer.  When I say something stupid, I could just pull out the thing and "flashy thingy" someone.  I'd be using that thing atleast 3 times a day.
• I planted some things about...well...10 days ago.  A tomato plant, a raspberry bush, some orchid gladiola bulbs and some other flower seeds I had lying around.  I only plant things in pots, so I don't have to wait as long as if I were going to plant them in the ground.  I grow tomatoes every year.  I asked Jayna what she wanted to grow this year and she said, "I grow berries mommy.  Blueberries, strawberries, blackberries and raspberries."  I urged her to pick just one.  She settled on raspberries and I bought one of those "in the box"-looks like just a dead stick-probably won't grow raspberry bushes.  Hey...it was 5 bucks with 20% off.  It was worth a shot.  I was pretty certain when I planted it (in a giant pot for now) that it was completely dead and wouldn't grow.  After 10 days it looks MORE dead.  I wasn't even sure that was possible.  I don't have a particularly green thumb, but I can grow things and keep them alive for long periods of time.  This plant has had water and sun and lives on my back patio safe from the "wild."  All the other plants are atleast doing SOMETHING.  The raspberry...notsomuch.  So this weekend I bit the bullet and bought a live-from-the-nursery-already-green-and-growing raspberry bush.  Jayna asks me atleast once a week if the bush has raspberries yet that she can eat.  If I don't grow something that produces ATLEAST one raspberry that the kid can eat by the end of summer, I'm in major trouble.  Here's hoping the new raspberry bush grows quickly.
• Chris' band, Call Me Elmer, (like them on Facebook, please!!!!!) has their first paying gig on my birthday.  It's at the Columbus Moose Lodge.  I am excited for them!  They are very quickly and surely learning and perfecting 4 hours worth of songs to play.  Wish them luck if you see them on Facebook!
• I've changed my running routine and it's going smoothly.  Before a couple of weeks ago, I'd start running and just keep running until I almost passed out.  I'd stop to walk and I'd feel defeated...mostly because I felt like I wouldn't be able to start running again and run for any amount of time.  I'd run for about 15 minutes and then stop and walk.  I'd start running again after around 5 minutes of walking.  But I'd only be able to run for around 8 minutes before I'd have to stop and walk again.  I now run 10 minutes and walk 5 minutes.  Even if I'm not tired, I keep up that pattern.  I don't get so tired so quickly and my breathing stays constant.  If I keep up the pace and routine that I'm doing now, I'm set to finish the mini in around 3 hours...probably around 3 hours 15 minutes.  And if it takes me longer...who cares!?!  That probably sounds like a very long time to some of you, but keep in mind that 3 weeks ago I was contemplating not running it.  I was scared to death that I wouldn't finish.  The tweaking that I've done with the running is working wonders for my confidence and is very encouraging.  I even want to run more after the mini!!!
• Easter was fun this year.  Jayna is getting older and is finally catching on to the traditions of the holidays.  She had a great time finding Easter eggs at Nana M's house.  She got a lightning bug house from Nana B and she won't stop asking if we can go outside and catch some. :)
• If it doesn't stop raining soon, I'm going postal.  Thath is all.
• I am excited to begin helping lots of friends with their kids' birthday cakes/cupcakes.  I really love making and decorating cupcakes and it is awesome that I have friends who trust me and will let me help them make their kids' birthdays just a little more special...without breaking the bank!!  I do all my work for free.  That's what friends are for. :)

What have y'all been up to??

Five for Friday: Life

I've been absent, blog friends. 

I'd like to apologize as I know that you've all been sitting on the edges of your seats waiting to hear what's going on in my life.

Yeah.

Here's the breakdown:

1. The new Foo Fighters album, Wasting Light, was released last Tuesday.  I had had a rough day that day because Jayna was sick (see #2) and I'd been home with a whiny, albeit good, child ALL DAY.  My good Foo friend K80 knew that I hadn't had a chance to go buy the album, so she bought it for me and delivered it to me.  I'm forever indebted to her.  She even got me the enhanced limited edition that includes a piece of the original recording tape for Wasting Light.  Her gesture of friendship and genuine care hasn't gone unnoticed.  It is a fabulous album beginning to end, front to back, head to toe.  It has a semi-permanent place in my car CD player and I listen to it over and over and over again.  There are no songs that I skip, but my favorites are Arlandria and These Days.  If you are a Foo fan or are on the fence about whether or not to buy the CD, do it now.  I'll wait. 
2. Jayna has been sick with a cold since Monday.  Chris was concerned that it was something worse, so he took her to the doctor on Wednesday.  Nope...just a cold.  The doctor prescribed Benadryl for her to dry up some of the mucus and, in turn, to help with the cough.  I was super excited about this because it meant that Jayna would sleep instead of cough all night.  Little did I know that Benadryl makes some children (namely, MY CHILD) hyperactive maniacs.  She did finally go to sleep, but the crazy conversations she had with herself alone in her room were priceless.  At one point she'd been quiet for about 8 minutes.  I was relieved that she'd finally fallen asleep.  Out of the blue, I hear her scream, "APPLE FARTS!!!"  And then she laughed hysterically.  She did that for 30 minutes.  Then she was out cold.
3. I am running a 5K tomorrow.  Supposedly in the rain.  With thousands of people.  Should be great!!  I'm not nervous or anxious at all.  (Read:  I'm  anxious as hell.)  I don't even want to go.  I want to sleep in and relax.  After the Mini, I don't plan to run anymore races until next year's Mini.  They make me too...crazy.
4. Chris learned how to play a bluesy version of Walking on Sunshine.  This makes me happy.
5. I want to move.  We need a bigger house.  And if the opportunity presents itself, I'll be jumping on it.  Who knew a child's stuff could take up so much room?!?

Thoughtful Thursday: Facebook

I'm thinking of quitting Facebook.

I know.  It's like I just said, "I'm quitting life y'all."  It's THAT significant. 

I think Facebook is wonderful for so many reasons.  I've reconnected with several old friends that I would've otherwise had no way of finding or communicating with.  Some of those reconnections have brought about meaningful and heartfelt friendships.  Others...not so much.

I am able to share photos with my family and friends.  This is important to me as I document my entire life through photos. I didn't say GOOD photos, but still.  I like having the connection that people can see how grown up Jayna is getting and how our lives change from month to month.

I know when people's birthdays are.  I can say hello.  I can friend/defriend/refriend/hide/etc.  I am in control over my "world."  Full control. 

But.....I think Facebook is evil.

It is entirely too easy to get caught up in the ridiculousness that is social networking. 

I see what EVERYONE is doing.  Saying.  Arguing about.  Taking too seriously.  Not taking seriously enough.  And I don't just see this from people I'm close to in real life...I see this from people that I haven't even spoken to in 10 or more years.  And, no offense to anyone of you, I shouldn't really care about that stuff.  I shouldn't be so distracted by nonsensical comments and updates from people who don't even really know me that I miss out on the life that is right in front of my REAL face.

I've watched my family argue.  I've seen them put ALL of their business on Facebook.  I've watched them friend each other only to defriend the next week.  I've watched my friends get snarky with each other over TYPED messages that have NO voice inflection or facial expression to go with the message.  I've seen people assume things from other things and get pissed. 

And all that makes me wonder...is being a part of all this REALLY worth the headache?

I do enjoy Facebook the majority of the time.  I really do.  And while it allows me to communicate with so many people that I probably wouldn't otherwise, it closes me off to so many other things. 

Instead of picking up a phone or going out for dinner, I send a simple Facebook message. 

Facebook allows me to be anti-social.  It allows me to participate in the cyber soap opera that is real life. 

And it's evil.

I won't quit Facebook.  I know I won't.  But I will keep in mind that it has caused me as many headaches as it has smiles.  And that's going to stop.

Five for Friday: Floaty

My head is floaty today. There are things just suspended in there. Here are some:

  

1. The painting I'm beginning this weekend. I don't really paint anything except abstract stuff and I do it mostly because I'm cheap. If I were to buy a painting to go on the wall behind my couch, it would cost me ATLEAST 500 bucks. And who knows if I'd even be able to find something I liked. If I do it myself, I can make it the color scheme and size I want. There is one there now that I painted that I've entitled A Popular Mistake. I don't really care for the painting, but I've gotten lots of compliments on it. It obviously got it's name months after I hung it.
2. Karma. Have you noticed that there are some people who seem immune to Karma? When I meet a person like that, I often think, "Man, when it comes around for her, it's gonna be brutal." I am a firm believer that people ultimately get what they deserve and that treating others poorly for an entire lifetime can't be good for the soul. My beef with Karma is that it is an uncontrollable force and others may be taken down in it's path. How fair is it that for someone who is getting what she deserves it takes away from someone else? I suppose life just isn't fair.
3. Lunch. I'm hungry. I want mashed potatoes.
4. Intention. It can only take you so far. Yet, sometimes it doesn't really even matter.
5. My lack of sleep. Apparently I'll sleep when I'm dead. This is probably the reason for the floaty head. :)

 

Random Wednesday Lists: Train of Thought

Here are some random lists that are going through my head:

Things Jayna is now afraid of:

*  The dark
*  Shadows
*  Patrick Star from Spongebob
*  Any sort of mask/glasses/mustache combo
*  The bathroom
*  Her bedroom when no one else is in there even if the light is on
*  The living room
*  The hobby room
*  Every room in our house except the kitchen when the light is on
*  Being anywhere alone (and Ollie doesn't count as a being)
*  The TV when it's turned off (I think there's a bigger problem there...)
*  The TV when a recorded show ends and the screen turns blue
*  Loud noises
*  The wind (okay, not really...but may as well be)


Races I'm running:

*  Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure - 5K In Honor of Saffron Yarbrough
*  March of Dimes March for Babies - 5K Inspired to run and raise money by Kayla Aimee and baby Scarlette
*  One America 500 Festival Mini Marathon - 13.1 miles...I'm aiming for half at this point
*  More to come after I assess the situation after the Mini.


A few of the dreams I've had while taking Medrol (a steroid for my crazy rash):

Just a quick note about this before the list...the doctor NEVER mentioned anything about crazy dreams, but upon further research, I've discovered that it's fairly common to have very vivid nightmares/dreams while taking steroids like Prednisone or Medrol.  Maybe she didn't want me to have psychosomatic side effects, but it was really scary the first night.  These dreams are REAL and I wake up EVERYTIME disoriented and doing whatever motion I was doing in my dream.

*  Swinging with Jayna (I woke up rocking as if I were swinging on a swing) and she fell out of the swing and got stabbed with a stick.  I gasped when I woke up and checked on her.  I was unsure of how we got from the backyard to our beds in such a short amount of time.  I remember thinking, "She still needs a bath!!!"
*  A college class about teeth in which I had to shuffle through a row of people in a lecture hall to the very last seat at the other end of the row when I could've just started at the other end.  I then failed the class because all my teeth fell out in class.  I woke up SITTING UP on the side of the bed and shuffling my feet on the floor while checking my mouth for teeth.
*  Chris giving birth to a bouncing baby girl.  I...won't go into detail.  It was quite the strange dream and again...I woke up and had to check our house for another baby before I realized that I was awake and that...wait for it....CHRIS CAN'T HAVE BABIES.
*  Morgan has been in almost every dream.  Once he was sailing a boat.  Once he was fighting a bear (we'll get to that one) and once he went to Old Indiana with me (that one's next).
*  I went to Old Indiana with the Quags family, my friend Holly, Morgan and my mom.  We were on our way there and got lost.  We found this house that morphed into trees and plants and got so caught up in how cool it was that we forgot to go to Old Indiana and then it closed. (It is, in fact, closed, by the way.)  Morgan just constantly barked at the morphing house. 
*  I went on vacation with Chris, Jayna, Michelle R., Ellie and some other people.  Jayna and Ellie were running back and forth in front of a HUGE window.  An old lady yelled at them for running in the hall so they ran THROUGH the window instead just to piss her off.  They were completely unharmed, but they knocked over a fish tank in the process and I woke up picking up fish off of our bed.
*  And last night...I had some people over to my house to have a backyard party (it was actually my mom's backyard).  There was a bear in my backyard.  We blocked the deck with a baby gate so the bear wouldn't get us.  He came around to the other deck entrance and Morgan attacked the bear.  The bear was then really pissed off so I yelled at it and told it to go away and it went and hid behind our shed.  I woke up sweating and REALLY scared because while I was asleep having a dream about a bear that I **should have** been afraid of, I wasn't afraid of it in the dream.  My half-awake self was telling my subconscious dream self to be afraid of the bear.  I was afraid for my OWN life in my OWN dream.  I'm probably doing a shitty job of explaining that, but it was really crazy.


What I need at the grocery store/Target:

*  Eggs
*  Jayna's milk
*  Cranberry juice
*  Potato chips
*  Hot dog buns
*  Six pack of beer
*  Body wash
*  Listerine
*  Oatmeal

Do YOU have a list to make??

Five For Friday: Things That Make Me LOL

No, not "little old lady."  Although I do crochet, drink tea and...nevermind.  I digress.

Laugh out loud.  Not like how everyone haphazardly puts it on Facebook and Twitter.  These are things that quite literally make me laugh out loud.  On occasion at work.  Lots of times while I'm waiting at various places and reading blogs on my phone (thank you DYAC for embarrassing me in the doctor's office waiting room yesterday).  It's almost always embarrassing because I almost always read these things whilst NOT at home in privacy. 

I've had a rough week.  All around rough.  So have many of my friends and family who read this blog.  I urge you to go check out these links.  They are hilarious and you'll love them.  And then we'll get back to business after a relaxing weekend.

Without further adieu, I present to you in no particular order:  Five for Friday:  Things that make me do any/all of the following: laugh out loud, pee a little, choke on my soda, cry.  (How's THAT for a title?!?)

1. Damn You Auto Correct.  There is nothing funnier to me than MadLibs.  Not when you *try* to make them funny, but when they're just funny on accident.  Auto correct creates Madlibs for you...and they're usually hilarious.  When I first heard of the site I was skeptical thinking that they'd all be sexually loaded and false.  Now that I've fallen victim to auto correct, I know that some of these are true...and as it turns out, the NON-sexual ones are usually the funniest.  One of my favorites:  Brown Chicken Brown Cowwwww.  Nothing like some farm porn music.
2. The Oatmeal.  I first started reading The Oatmeal when a Facebook friend posted to his wall a chart of annoying Facebook people.  You know me...I was hooked after that.  I have a list 3 miles long.  One of my favorites:  10 Words You Need to Stop Misspelling.  I see most of these atleast once a day.
3. Hyperbole and a Half.  An awesome writer AND funny??  Sign me up!!  I just started reading this blog after a Facebook friend posted it to her wall and I can't stop.  I've been going through archives and all of her posts are laugh out loud hilarious.  Hell, even her drawings make me cry.  One of my favorites:  Dog.  I can totally relate to that post, you know...because Ollie is a little "challenged."
4. Fail Blog.  While most of the Fail Blog brings me to tears, there are some things on there that are ridiculous.  That one needs a little more sorting in my mind.  One of my favorites:  WIN:  Rock, Paper, Scissors.  My sentiment exactly.
5. Steam Me Up, Kid.  WARNING:  You will need a sick sense of humor.  If you're a friend of mine, then you'll most likely love it.  One of my favorites:  A Meme is a Wish Your Heart Makes, which happens to also be the newest post.  Love love love the gun pointing scenarios and the captions to go along with them.

What's my point with all of this??  Well, you know you don't REALLY want to work.  Or clean.  Or go to the gym.  Or whatever it is that you're avoiding by sitting in front of your computer/phone/device with an internet connection.  You could just as easily click those links, laugh out loud, get out your finger guns and then go buy beer and put it in the fridge so it's cold for later.  Seriously...gym or beer later??  You make that call.

Mulligan Monday: I need a do-over.

Yikes.  Rough day...but only mentally.

I can't focus on anything.  I'm really preoccupied with a situation that happened over the weekend and I'm pretty sure that I will not rest easily until the mystery is solved.

Jayna has been sick.  She has strep.  That means she's been eating lots of junk food and watching hours of television.  Seriously.  What else is there to do when you're sick??  If she gets too worked up, she starts coughing to the point of gagging, so cuddled on the couch it is.

She was dilligently watching Spongebob on Saturday afternoon while eating her lunch.  I was in the shower as I had just gotten back from a long and sweaty run.  Chris was loading the dishwasher.  While in the middle of my shower I heard a terrified scream from the living room.  I yelled out of the shower (because, yes, the door was open.  I don't get an ounce of privacy at home) to make sure she was okay.  Chris' reply was, "Yes, Patrick looked a little bit scary."  Which was what Jayna had reported to him.

That kid was absolutely horrified.  I've never heard her scream like that from being afraid.  It made me nervous.

I asked Chris about the situation and he said, "Yeah...he was sort of creepy looking.  He had weird eyebrows and a goatee and his face was really chiseled.  Sort of freaky."  So not only did it scare the shit out of a 2-year-old, it freaked out an adult.  I asked about which episode it was because I wanted to investigate further and see for myself if this was something to be afraid of or if this was like when Jayna decided she was afraid of shadows.  And......I can't find it.

The information I have is as follows:  It was at the very beginning of the episode.  Spongebob and Patrick were in what Chris thought was a bar (presumably the ice cream place or the Weenie Hut).  Spongebob was teary-eyed like he was going to cry or had just cried.  And then it cut to Patrick with this weird eyebrow/goatee/facial structure thing going on. 

And then the kid screamed with terror.

In the past 48 hours I've watched no less than 30 episodes of Spongebob. 

Until I solve this, I'm not sure I can blog about anything else.  Seriously.  It's consuming me. 

That doesn't make me weird, right?  RIGHT?!?

A Random Wednesday List

No alliteration.  No real subject.  Just a...well, a random list written on a Wednesday.

1. When you're asked if you want one thing or another thing and you really want both, it is common 2-year-old practice to combine the 2 words instead of just say the word "both."  Examples:  "Jayna, do you want sausage or bacon?"  Reply:  "Snacon."  And "Jayna do you want a hot dog or chicken nuggets?"  Reply:  "A chicken dog."  And "Jayna do you want your party hat (colorful hat with pom poms) or your white hat?"  Reply:  "My wharty hat."  See??  I don't see a thing wrong with that.
2. Lifetime, the television station, has been running a documentary about Tupac.  You know, the rapper?  Since when did Lifetime's target audience include people who care about Tupac?  Just an observation.
3. I made my own household all-purpose cleaner yesterday.  It worked outstandingly on bathroom counters and sinks and in the kitchen.  And it's CHEAP.
4. The year 2011 is almost 17% over.  What have YOU done??
5. I am apparently a non music runner.  I ran on Monday with no music and I did much better when I could hear my feet and my breathing.  Ran a full 3 without feeling the imminence of death. :)
6. I am still editing and posting pictures from Christmas.  What the hell is wrong with me???
7. Jayna's preschool is getting a new teacher.  Ms. Meghan (Jayna's favorite) is moving to California until October.  The "Meet the Teacher Open House" is on Saturday from 12pm to 2pm...right at naptime.  I'm sure a tired and overstimulated 2-year-old Jayna will make a wonderful impression on this new person. :)

Thawed out Thursday: Stories of a Hermit

 I am officially out of my house today for more than just running an errand or two.  I have been a shut in for 2.5 days.  I can't tell you how happy this makes me.  I seriously need to move now because I'm just plain tired of looking at my house.  Here are the details of my time at home:

1. Around noon on Sunday, I began to get really itchy eyes.  They promptly turned red and I then got nervous.  I began the "don't touch your eyes and wash your hands every 30 seconds."  I awoke on Monday morning with an eye so swollen that after I uncrusted it it would still barely open.  I went to the doctor at 10am and was diagnosed with conjunctivitis but not pink eye.  I'm not sure how that works.  And by Tuesday I had it in both eyes.  I'm finally able to see clearly and my eyes don't itch or burn or look like I went to Fight Club last night.  Like 56 more days of antibiotic eye drops and I'll be okay.  I'm sort of glad that this ice storm that shut down my entire city happened at the same time as the eye infection.  If I have to stay away from work and actually be sick, let it be when driving is treacherous and the mall is closed. (Yes, I said the mall was closed.  Apparently 1+ inch of ice all over everything makes the mall close.)
2. As much as Jayna and I got sick of each other due to the fact that we were stuck in the house together for 2 days, I think we would've both preferred to stay home this morning.  Right before we left for school today, she looked up at me and said, "No school mommy.  Let's play dollhouse."  She almost won.  I was soooo ready to get out of that house and get away from Spongebob that it transfered over to me wanting to be away from her.  And now as I sit here I wish I were home with her playing dollhouse and watching Squidward call Spongebob names which Jayna then tells me are "not nice."
3. Yesterday I successfully upgraded 2 cell phones online and got both our state and federal taxes done online without paying a dime.  Suck it, Turbo Tax.  It was really nice to get something accomplished other than cleaning up dishes and dress up clothes and doing endless loads of laundry. 
4. I finished a crochet project...one that was a CHRISTMAS present.  But since I got my finger caught in the electric mixer making crochet impossible for a week or so, I didn't get it finished until yesterday.  And  mom loves her new fingerless gloves that have very affectionately been dubbed "boxing gloves" by Roger.
5. Snow days are NOT the same when A. you're an adult and B. you have a 2-year-old.  I didn't get to sleep in.  I didn't get to eat junk food all day.  (Okay, maybe that's sort of a lie, but I'm sticking with it.)  I didn't play ONE board game.  And I didn't get to watch anything I wanted to watch on television.  A good snow day when you're an adult is getting something done that you'd otherwise have to do on the weekend.  But it still beats getting up and going to work.
6. I haven't been to the gym in.......*gulp*......5 days.  I'm in for it tomorrow.  In related news, the last time I did go to the gym, I ran 2 miles.  Yay me.
7. In all that time home, I didn't get the blog caught up.  SMH. :)

Tidbit Tuesday: Neither Here Nor There

Lots of random going on in my world these days.  And if you're still reading, here are some highlights:

1. My finger is healed.  It didn't require medical attention and seems to be functioning properly at this time.  And I'll beware of electric mixers in the future.  There are still some things that bother it...like opening the car door, gripping things tightly or pushing buttons on the microwave, but all in all I'm really lucky that it wasn't severely injured.  I haven't tried to crochet yet.  We'll see how that goes in the next few days.
2. My mom got an iPhone for Christmas and now I want a smart phone.  Really bad.
3. I had a dream on Monday night that scared the shit out of me.  The long and short of it was that I was sat down with 2 other people at gun point and was told by a man with a laptop computer equipped with a webcam that one of the 3 of us would be killed and that he'd take 12 minutes to do it and he'd be streaming live to his website.  He was a serial killer and had killed 11 other people in the coinciding amount of minutes (one minute to kill the first person, 2 minutes to kill the second person, etc.) and now he was on the number 12.  I was excited that maybe I'd live because he was only choosing one of us.  But then he said, "The other 2 of you will be killed almost painlessly."  And all I could think the whole time in the dream was, "How the hell did I get here??"  Freaky.  I was crying when I woke up.
4. Last night Jayna and Chris were playing with a punching balloon in the living room.  Jayna started to get out of control, so I told her to "turn on her listening ears" and settle down...and DON'T spill daddy's drink on the table.  A few minutes later Chris was playing with the balloon and spilled his almost full drink all over the table, carpet and entertainment center.  And Jayna said to him, "Dad, you have to listen with your ears and be careful."  Ha.
5. Christmas was weird this year.  Completely strange.  Jayna got lots of stuff and enjoyed everything about Christmas, but I'm standing by my original statement of it being a strange year.
6. Jayna was moved in with the 4-year-olds at her preschool.  Yay!
7. I want a new house.

Five for Friday: JHF Edition

It really was just a matter of time before I blogged seriously (or as seriously as I can get regarding such a trivial issue...did I just call JHF trivial???  Oh yes I did!) about JHF.  Here is a simple and concise definition:

JHF:  (jay; aitch; eff); n.  acronym:  Jazz Hands Friday; a facebook phenomenon created by yours truly and KT used to mark the coming of Friday (the end of the work week; see clock watching) and celebrated by THROWIN' YA JAZZ HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YA JUST DON'T CARE; may be celebrated with any combination of the following:  sparkly hat, glitter, slutty Glee-like clothes, crazy glasses and/or wig.  JAZZ HANDS ESSENTIAL.

And, without further adieu, I present to you Five For Friday:  Random Information about JHF:

1. It is just a matter of time before one of the 50 or so of us who celebrate JHF gets called out because a Negative Nelly thinks it's stupid.  Well, here's a newsflash:  ALL OF FACEBOOK IS STUPID.  That's what makes it the perfect forum for something like JHF.
2. JHF grew like we NEVER thought it would.  My 55-year-old stepfather now celebrates JHF with us...just not of Facebook.  I don't even know if he knows what Facebook is.  But every Friday, he sees me and says, "Oh, I almost forgot..."  and then he throws out the jazz hands.
3. Even people who I didn't even know really checked Facebook that often are asking about JHF...and then actually participating!  Awesome!!
4. Jayna has been taught the proper way to display her jazz hands and isn't afraid to do it.
5. We have a President (the bear above) named Chas Ands. 

Okay...number 5 is a big fat lie.  But it would be cool. :)

So, get with it, folks!!  JHF is here to stay.  And as the bear says, "Everybody's Doing It!"

Make It Mine Monday: New Hobby Edition

I recently began crocheting.  Crocheting was something that I was totally NOT into...I actually tried to take a knitting class around this time last year with my good buddy Michelle, but it didn't pan out.  Our classes got cancelled and then she went and had a baby.  I suppose little Mia had to come out of there sometime. :)

I had seen some things that I liked in stores that were seemingly knitted, but since I'm a cheapskate I wouldn't pay the cash money for them.  Michelle and I discovered that we're both pretty crafty and decided that with just a few classes we could become pros in no time!  Ha.  Notsomuch.

For Christmas last year my mom bought me a "Learn to Knit" book.  It came with a few patterns and some directions, as well as a few knitting needles, markers and blunt needles.  I had EVERYTHING I needed to learn knitting, except yarn.  Oh...and coordination.

You apparently have to have around 7 hands, give or take, to knit.  And you have to have lots of hand-eye coordination.  I mean, I DO have hand-eye coordination, just not that of a...someone who has to have lots of it.  I'm not sure what that would even be.  But I digress...

So I bought a skein of cheap yarn at my local Wally World and prepared myself to...knit.  I promptly cast on 10 stitches and then...had NO IDEA what to do next.  At the time I knew no one who knew how to knit and I was sooooo intimidated that I didn't want to take a class.  Especially by myself!

So I quit. 

I'm not proud.  But that's the fact of the matter.

Since Michelle was busy with a newborn baby and didn't have to time NOR the ENERGY to take a class with me, my mom convinced me that crocheting was WAY less intimidating and you only had to have 4 hands to do it.  Oh...and there is only one hook instead of two needles.

I was confident that I could handle that.

We signed up for two classes at our local JoAnn's...Crochet 101 which is just the basics and Crochet 201 which was how to make felted flowers.  We were very excited!!

Well, class day was almost here and I got a sinus infection from hell.  I was pretty sure that death was RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.  And the day before the class we got HUGE snowstorm.  The class was cancelled.

By this time I was positive that I wasn't meant to do anything involving yarn.

But we had already paid for the classes.

So we waited.  We waited out fate and rescheduled our first class for the beginning of October.  And I can now successfully crochet in the single, double, triple, and half double.  I'm still learning, but I've already made a scarf for Jayna and I'm now making myself a pair of wrist warmers. 

And we are now to the Make It Mine part of the post...

Susan Bates Crystalites Crochet Hook Case with 9 Hooks

I know...I've aged about 40 years since I began crocheting. :)

I've decided that I really don't care for steel hooks.  They have a weird sound/feel to me when in contact with yarn.  Plastic also seems to have a different feel when it comes to the tension of the yarn.  I am probably the only crocheter that prefers plastic hooks, but that's me.  Strange bird.

I'll keep y'all posted on my projects.  I plan on making lots of awesome stuff!

Five For Friday: Week of Weird

This week has been...different.  Some strange things have happened to me.  I've seen some strange things.  And one thing happened to me that totally took me by surprise and embarrassed me.  What else am I to do but put it in writing on a public blog on the interwebs??  Yeah...no keeping my embarrassing moments to myself. 

1. Twice this week I accidentally ate soap.  Yes, I said accidentally.  And soap.  TWICE.  On Monday I was multitasking...eating a cookie and doing dishes.  That one is pretty self-explanatory.  On Wednesday, I was again multitasking...starting laundry and eating pizza.  Who does laundry and eats pizza??  Me.  That's who.
2. I shut Jayna in the garage with all the doors closed and the garage door down.  She was in there all by herself.  In the dark.  But only for about 45 seconds.  See, I was taking the trash out to the garage to be prepared for trash day.  It was about 5 minutes before Jayna's bedtime and she was in her nightgown and everything...but she followed me out there.  She said, "I paint, mommy."  I said, "No, it's bedtime."  She said, "I go play dollies."  And I *thought* she ran back in the house to get her dollies.  I hurried and gathered the trash, turned off the light and darted back into the house to tell her to not get out all of her dolls because it was bedtime.  I yelled to her, "Jayna, don't get your dolls out...it's bedtime."  No answer.  "Jayna??"  No answer.  "Jayna, where are you??"  And that's when I heard a knock on the other side of the garage door into the house and a little voice say, "Mommy..."  I opened the door fully expecting a scared look and even some crying.  Nothing.  The kid was absolutely NOT bothered by being in the dark garage by herself.  I apologized to her and she promptly apologized to me.  I said, "You don't have to be sorry, baby.  It's mommy's fault."  And she responded, "It's okay, mommy.  I sorry too."  What an angel.
3. There are eleventyjillion political signs on a few of the street corners that I pass everyday.  One said, "Vote Yes for NICK NOE Trustee."  I laughed..."Vote YES for NOE."  Haha.  And right next to it was "Elect JACK RUSSELL for Board Member."  And I thought, "Yes, I'm sure a little dog COULD do a better job than some elected officials."  I sure do love voting season. :)
4. I went to JoAnn's yesterday to get ONE SKEIN of yarn.  It should've taken me 4 minutes.  Jayna decided that it was a good time to go potty on the big girl potty...3 TIMES IN 7 MINUTES.  What should have taken me 4 minutes took me 27.  Yay for potty training.
5. My friend KT was out of town for the better part of the week.  She is a sort of new friend and I am embarrassed to say how much I missed her.  Having a buddy that I can communicate with on a daily basis is something that I've gotten used to very quickly.  Geez...I hope I don't screw this up. Haha.

What weird has happened to you lately??

Wandering Wednesday: Preschool

I don't have a Well-Played today.  Why?  Oh, who knows.  Jayna has been an absolute ANGEL for the past couple of weeks and does eleventybillion cute, funny and shocking things per day.  And now that I typed that, she'll turn back into a punk.

Here is one funny moment from the weekend:  Saturday we went to the pumpkin patch and then to my mom's for dinner.  It was HOT at the pumpkin patch which made us all uncomfortable and tired.  We didn't leave my mom's house until almost 8pm and Jaynie was sleepy.  We're in the car on the way home and out of nowhere we hear, "Daddy, I dead.  Need new batteries."  Poor thing!!  She was super tired, but had an awesome day.

**And now back to our not-so-regularly scheduled Wandering Wednesday:  Preschool.**

I can't, for the life of me, focus on one thing for longer than 5 minutes.  I seriously think I have adult ADD.  I'm thinking of seeing a doctor.  No, seriously.

I think alot of my problem is procrastination.  "No!!  NOT YOU, Danielle!  You aren't a procrastinator at all!!  Your kid's birthday was in August and you haven't written thank yous yet, but that's TOTALLY acceptable!!"  (By the way, at what age or time in my life or Jayna's life is it truly acceptable to stop writing thank you notes?  Do I have to do it forever??  I mean, I'm thankful and only close people came to the party, so is my thank you implied?  Geez, parenting is difficult.) (And that was yet ANOTHER EXAMPLE of my lack of focus.)

Forget that paragraph above.  I had a moment of temporary insanity.  And we're back to Wandering Wednesday...

I think alot of my problem is procrastination.  And being overwhelmed at all the things I get myself into.  Right now my personal projects consist of the following (and these are just things that "keep me busy"...you know, like a hobby):

1. Mom's shmantle.  A different story for a different time.  You'll know soon enough, though.
2. Jayna's skid bookcases.  The mouse sander is my friend. 
3. Jayna's extra storage unit.  All it needs is paint. I just can't decide what the hell color!!
4. A painting I had a dream about.  I know...go ahead and shake your heads and call me crazy again.  Or still.
5. Organizing photos and actually putting them into the albums.
6. I just picked up crocheting.  I am currently crocheting cuffs to wear for this winter.  Sort of like fingerless gloves.
7. Prototypes of a project that I hope to use for Laura's conference if they so graciously allow me to come again.
8. THREE MILLION UNFINISHED SCRAPBOOK PROJECTS.

Wow.  And we haven't even talked about preschool yet.

My mind has been stuck on preschool.  Jayna is smart and is showing signs that she's ready to "go to the next level" with her learning.  I think she could really benefit from being around multiple children in an environment of learning and playing together and structure instead of by herself where she's mostly just babysat.  Summer has done a wonderful job of teaching Jayna things.  Jayna can count, recognize letters, sing songs, etc. and alot of that is attributed to Summer.  But Jayna is getting older and more grown up and I need to begin the process of trusting others to watch and teach her.  It will be difficult for ALL of us at first, but I think it's the right thing.

There is a preschool down the street from me that opened not too long ago and I'd love to stop in and talk to the teachers.  I just don't know when I'd do that.  I suppose the first step is a phone call. :)

I know you'll read this, Summer.  And don't worry...I'll give you atleast a month's notice so you can figure things out.

I also don't even know how affordable this is right now.  So many questions and I can't get them out of my head!!  They're seriously clogging my brain.  And when that happens, it's time to take care of business.

How's THAT for Wandering Wednesday?!?  Where are you wandering off to today?

Tell a Tale Tuesday: Pillow Princess

Last night Chris and I were trying to fall asleep and he randomly said, "Tell me a story."

This isn't out of the ordinary.  Except it's usually me asking for the story.  Chris tells weird stories that end abruptly and almost always leave me asking, "What happened after that?"  And he replies, "Nothing.  That's the end."

It drives me crazy. 

One of his stories included a boy named...wait for it...Jesse Joe Jack Jim Bob Bob.  Yep.  You read that right.

Another was about a cat named Fiasco who sang loudly in the alley at night.  The story ended when Fiasco was told to shut up by a neighbor.  Fiasco replied, "MEOW!!"  The end.

Strange.  Beyond strange, even.

I saw last night as my chance.  To prove that I had storytelling, CHRIS STYLE, in my arsenal.  Below is my story.

In a land far away, there lived a princess, Princess Filmore.  And she wasn't sleeping very well.  Two months went by and she hadn't gotten one good night of sleep.

She awoke one morning to find her maid, Helga, already in the room.  "Helga," she said, "I haven't slept well in 2 months.  Whatever shall I do?"

Helga responded as her usual helpful self, "Princess Filmore, maybe you should think of getting a new pillow.  A new pillow always makes me sleep better."

Princess Filmore thought for a moment and said, "Why would I get a new pillow??  I have this very expensive memory foam pillow that is said to conform to my head.  I don't think I need a new pillow, Helga."

Helga simply wouldn't accept that answer.  "But Princess, your head is a triangle.  And memory foam is known to not form to a triangular shape."

Princess Filmore finally gave in and decided to take Helga with her to Royal Mart to get a new pillow.

Upon entering the pillow aisle at the local Royal Mart, Princess Filmore saw that there were many pillows to choose from and was very hopeful.  There were extra firm pillows for side sleepers and extra soft pillows for stomach sleepers and extra tall pillows with one inch gussetts.  There were also down pillows that were very heavy.  But as Princess Filmore tried out more and more pillows, they all felt the same.

After trying all of the pillows and feeling defeated, Princess Filmore turned to Helga and said, "Well, Helga, I suppose I'll just never sleep well again!"

Helga hugged Princess Filmore and simply said, "Since your head is a triangle, maybe we should go to a specialty store that carries pillows just for triangular-headed people."

Well, little did they know, those stores don't exist.  The end.


I do realize that none of you will think this is as funny as Chris and I do.  I just thought I'd share a small part of our weird way of communicating. :)