Five for Friday: The Rapture and Subsequent End of Days

I have done my homework.  I know all about the rapture on Saturday and the end of the world to come 5 months later. 

I know about the earthquakes and the dead bodies and the zombies and the aliens and...oh, wait.  I *may* be exaggerating about some of that.  But would it really be anymore or any less believable if I added in zombies and aliens??

No?  Yeah, I didn't think so either.

"Now, if you keep talking like that, you're definitely NOT going to heaven.  You'll have to deal with all those dead bodies and locusts and stuff."

Well, I have unfinished business here...and I'd rather be left here on earth amongst the death and destruction and be surrounded by my family/friends/posse/homies/bitches/whatever than to go to heaven with a bunch of people I don't even really know. 

In the name of trying to stay positive, there are certain things that I would absolutely NOT miss if the world ended. 

And I present to you...Five for Friday:  Things I won't miss if the world ends.

1. Taylor Swift.  ALL of her songs are about the same thing.  They all sound the same.  They all SUCK MAJOR ASS.  I'm starting to think Kanye was onto something there.  Okay, no I'm not, because he's a douche...but still.  She bugs me with her tiny head and her GIGANTIC hair that looks like a wig.  Am I the only one who thinks that?  That her hair looks like a wig?  I can't be the only one.  Right?  RIGHT?!?
2. Spam email from companies trying to sell me Viagra.  I could go on and on about this, but since I try to keep it clean around here (Oh, C'MON!!!  I didn't say spotless!!!), I'll let it be.  If I wanted to get ahold of some Viagra, the last thing I'd do is give my credit card number to a dude who lives in a country that I'm pretty sure doesn't even exist.  I'd just break into the pharmacy and steal it like a regular person.
3. Twitter hashtags.  #effingridiculous.  That is all.
4. Dora The Explorer.  Of all the cartoon characters, including Spongebob, I want to punch her in the face the most.  If Jayna requests a Dora cake for her birthday, it will officially be the first time I tell her no after giving her a choice.  Watching that show is so excruciating.  Seriously.
5. The phrase, "Just saying."  Wouldn't it be the icing on the cake if, in 5 months, we were all just standing around in the rubble and out of the sky we heard, "Just saying!!!"  and then a fireball crashed down on us and it all just ended?  I'm pretty sure that God would appreciate the humor in that.

What will you NOT miss??