A Random Update

It has occurred to me that I haven't blogged about Jayna in a long time. 

Here I got all upset about never blogging about anything else and then I just went and forgot about her. 

I'm sure she's all broken up about it. 

I tried to add a video to this post, but the video is too long.  I had a specific reason for uploading said video, but I guess y'all will just have to wait until I shorten it up (nearly IMPOSSIBLE to edit out my little JBird) to get the full picture.

Jayna is 3 years and almost 8 months old.  This makes me want to vomit.  I am having so much trouble with the fact that she's so smart and cute and she's going to grow up and continue to be smart and cute and I'm going to have to deal with that.  I don't envy myself AT. ALL.

She can spell up to 5 letter words now.  We work on this everyday and she loves it.  She loves that she can do it herself and doesn't have to ask me how to spell things.  She wrote G-R-I-L on her chalkboard in the kitchen last week while we were cooking dinner.  I said, "Jayna!!  You spelled 'grill!'  Great job!!"  She said, "Daddy's grilling the chicken, so I wrote 'grill.'"  Fair enough logic, I suppose.

She can now add in her head to a certain degree.  A few days ago I was explaining how the weathermen were 10 degrees off of what they said the temperature would be.  She quickly said, "Mommy!!  That's called math!  Kind of like 5 plus 3."  I played along and said, "So what does 5 plus 3 equal?"  She held up 5 fingers on one hand, three on the other and then counted them.  That's a wonderfully surprising first step at age not-even-4 to get the hang of adding.  Last night she was eating 8 jelly beans and 3 princess candies for dessert.  She looked in her bowl, looked up at me and said, "I have 8 jelly beans and 3 princess candies.  That makes....(paused as she looked up at the sky)...11!!!  Mommy!! I added my candies!"  She didn't even have to use her fingers!!  I gave her 3 more easy adding problems and she did them all correctly without her fingers.  On the 4th one, which was 9 plus 9, she gave up.  But again, great first steps here.

She is kind and polite and caring and emotional and loving and sassy.  A few mornings ago, her preschool teacher asked her a question that Jayna answers the same way EVERYTIME she's asked and Jayna responded with, "Why you ask me that question when you know the answer?"  She didn't say it like she was being a smartass or anything and even though I was laughing on the inside, I told her that that isn't a proper response when someone asks her a question.  Hilarious. :)

She loves to cuddle.  She regularly compliments me on my jewelry, my clothes, my hair.  She tells me I'm smart and she says her daddy is the best guitar player she knows.  She is a fierce fashionista.  She regularly asks Chris for different clothes than the ones he picks out for her in the morning.  She does it to me, too, but I just get frustrated and make her pick out her own clothes.  The results are pretty interesting when that happens.

She loves to tell stories.  Mostly about princesses getting married, but there are always some original elements in there.  Over the weekend she told Chris and me a story where "the rabbit turned into a froggy and then into a car...and then he stayed a car for awhile." 

She loves for Chris and I to tell her what we do during the day at work.  She's fascinated by it.  She'll ask me what I did and I'll start to tell her.  She'll almost immediately interrupt me and ask, "Did you type perials?"  That's her word for "proposal."  Her latest is, "Did you send any mailtypes?"  That's her way of saying "emails."  She's so cute I could die of the overload.

She loves to learn new things.  She knows about trees and photosynthesis and her immune system and phases of the moon and where the sun rises and where it sets.  She likes to do hands on things ESPECIALLY if you're teaching her these things.  She helped me plant the entire garden and also helps me take care of it.  She likes to help Chris build things and she likes to help me paint furniture.  She LOVES technology and learning about computers and how to use them and she can work the iPad better than Chris and I can.  She loves her learning apps and her playing apps alike. 

She helps me do things around the house to earn an allowance.  She sets the dinner table.  She helps me sort laundry.  She helps put dishes in the sink.  She puts the silverware away from the dishwasher.  She helps with Ollie.  And I don't MAKE her do any of it.  She wants to help.  She knows that 4 hands get things done more quickly than 2 and that we'll have more time to play if she helps out.  And while that isn't always true when you've got a 3-year-old helping me, I NEVER turn her down.  I let her help me do anything she wants to help with.

She loves her Ollie more than words can say.  She is kind and gentle to him.  He comes up on her bed everynight for family story time and singing bedtime songs.  And then she hugs and kisses him goodnight.  She helps with giving him treats and feeding him and letting him in and out to go potty.  She calls him "buddy" all the time.  It's very adorable.  "Come on in, buddy.  It's raining out there."

Her current favorite toy is a piece of multi-colored yarn that I gave her a long time ago.  It's probably 8 feet long.  She ties her swings together in the backyard.  She tucks the end into her pants and lets it drag behind her so "her prince can find her."  She made a bridge for bugs over the garden with it.  We loop it around the tree and the garden post to make a finish line for our races.  She uses it as horse reins on her glider.  She has had more fun with that piece of yarn than anyone ever should.  And I think it is the most creative and cute thing she's probably ever done.

Don't you worry!!  She has her troublesome points too.  A few weeks ago, she got 4 time outs in ONE WEEK because she wouldn't stop listening to an older little girl during rest time.  Jayna and this other little girl are the only 2 who don't take naps anymore, so they lay on bean bag chairs in the common room for 30 minutes while the other kids fall asleep in the nap room.  The older little girl kept talking to Jayna and telling her to do things that kept getting her into trouble.  It happened once and I promptly had a talk with her about peer pressure (although I didn't use those words) and about how she should ignore this other kid when it was time to rest, learn, be quiet, etc.  She said, "Ignoring my friends is mean.  I'm a nice girl."  It took an entire week to convince her that it was, in fact, the appropriate thing to do.  And now she regularly ignores this other kid even when she doesn't have to.  She told me earlier this week, "So-and-so wanted to play a game and I didn't want to play.  She kept asking me so I just ignored her.  She cheats anyway."  :)

She regularly gets whiny when she's tired.  She doesn't want to finish her dinner but still wants dessert.  She doesn't want to drink her milk before having lemonade.  She can throw a tantrum with the best of them.  She has an attitude, people.  Pure sass.  And she isn't afraid to use it. 

Overall, I love being her mom.  I get sad and sentimental at times that she will indeed grow up.  Doesn't every parent have that?  I worry about her.  I worry about if I'm doing the right thing.  I worry if I'm somehow making her grow up too fast or if I'm trying to keep her little for too long.  I worry about when she's a teenager.  I worry that I won't teach the right lessons or set a good enough example for her.  And I worry about really bad things too like kidnapping and things like that.  I...I worry.

I just want to keep her safe, let her flourish as her own little person and show her what it means to love and be loved.  That's all. :)

Drawing of Jayna wearing a crown while playing with her infamous yarn.  I'm the one at the top. 

Helping plant and water. 

 Helping build the garden.

Cuddles with the JBird.

I thought I was just putting baby wash into the bath.  Turned out to be bubble bath.  The ratio of bubbles to water was about 10:1.  And it was the highlight of the weekend. 

Planted garden.  Jayna dug in there more than I did. 

Playing iPad.  Probably Tiny Zoo.  That's one of the 2 apps she needs help with...mostly because I won't let her buy stuff from it.  

The wine cork plant markers that Jayna helped me make and place.  She loves to do anything crafty.

So that's what's going on!!  Consider yourselves updated!! :)

The Fate of Hookah

So...who's seen the Don Bluth kid's movie Anastasia?  I have.  Approximately 148 times.  It is a favorite in our household.  It is near and dear to my heart for a few reasons:

1. It got Jayna interested in MOVIES instead of 8 minute cartoons.  Yes, it's an animated movie, but it requires her to use her attention span to the max.  I love it.
2. The story of how we acquired it.  Jayna and I were on one of our many Target outings.  In the winter we'd go there just to get out of the house.  At the end of January 2011, it was raining and gross and cold.  I picked her up from school and we went and got a flushie (Icee for those that don't speak Jaynish) and some chips and I pushed her around Target in the cart just to look at things.  We didn't really have anything we needed to buy and I told her that we were just there to look and that we weren't buying any toys.  When we went over to the movie section, she promptly wanted out of the cart.  She's a good kid, so I let her out.  I was standing in CD aisle when I realized she wasn't right there next to me.  I knew she wasn't far, so I turned around and she was standing in front of the end cap.  She looked, picked something up and brought it to me.  It was Anastasia.  She said, "Mommy, this isn't a toy and it's only a 4 and a 7 and a 5.  Can I get it please?"  I thought she somehow mixed up the numbers so I went to the end cap.  She was right!!  It was only $4.75!!  So she got it.  And we've watched it more times than any other Disney movie that I paid over $20.00 for.
3. It made Jayna want to be a princess.  Some of you will think that's bad, but I'm here to tell you that when little girls think they're princesses, even for just a minute, it is the cutest thing that ever happens. :)

And so began the obsession with princesses.  IT WASN'T EVEN A DISNEY MOVIE.  If you have a little girl and you haven't seen Anastasia, you can get it pretty much anywhere for around 5 bucks.  It is a little scary in parts though, so take caution.  Jayna doesn't scare easily and she just laughs at "Raspukin." :)

There's a little dog in the movie that is named Pookah.  We've only known his ACTUAL name for about 3 months.  All this time we thought his name was Hookah...pronounced as who-kah.  Like the pipe.  We thought that because that's what Jayna told us his name was.  We figured she was right because she watches that movie atleast once a week to this day...over a year later.  Turns out, our suspicions were correct in thinking that naming an animated dog in a kid's movie after a tobacco pipe was inappropriate.  Oh well.  Whatareyagonnado?

About 3 weeks after she got Anastasia, Valentine's Day rolled around.  Her great uncle Norbert gave Jayna a little stuffed colorful dog holding a heart.  And of course she promptly named him Hookah and started taking him to school with her everyday.  So then I had to go through the slight embarrassment of her taking a stuffed animal to school EVERY DAMN DAY that was named after a pipe.  When asked why the dog was named that, I just gave them the explanation:  That's the dog's name in the movie Anastasia.  What?  You haven't seen it?  No, really that's the dog's name.  All that time his dang name was Pookah. 

Fast forward to last night.  I was lying in bed with Jayna talking about my day.  About how I do all sorts of cool stuff like send emails and answer the phone and type proposals and send them.  And all of the sudden, she sits up and says, "Mommy, I haven't seen Hookah in, like, awhile."  (Yes, his name is STILL Hookah even though we know the REAL name of the dog and yes, she STILL sleeps with that little dog over a year later.)  So she rummages through her bed and finds him at the bottom stuck between the backboard and the mattress.  She pulled him out and noticed that the little heart he is holding had come unsewn from one of his legs.  The conversation went something like this:

J:  (makes that breathing in really fast and really hard sound)  MOMMY!!!!!!  LOOK!!!!!
Me:  Yeah!  You found him.
J:  NO!!  MOMMY!!!!!  LOOOOOOOK!!!! (followed by intense sobbing and real tears)
Me:  Oh, it's okay Jaynie.  I'll sew it back on in the morning and it will be fine.
J:  No it won't mommy.  (still sobbing)
Me:  Jaynie, it's okay.  It just came loose.  We'll fix it just like we've fixed your other toys.
J:  It's not a toy!  It's HOOKAH!!!  And he's DEAD!!!!!   DEAD LIKE MORGAN!!! (even more intense sobbing.)
Me:  (stunned silent)

From there, I just picked her up and held her.  And squeezed her.  I didn't talk.  I cried.  So did she.  She cried for quite some time.  And I just held onto her.  It was the saddest thing that's ever happened to me since I've been a parent.

She finally settled down and I put her to bed.  And then I promptly left the room, sucked it up and got the sewing box.

I couldn't save Morgan.  I couldn't do anything to help him except give him love and compassion and not make him suffer anymore.  But last night, I saved Hookah.

I took him back into her room and she was still a little upset.  I handed him to her and she smiled a big ass smile and just simply said, "Thank you mommy.  I love you."  And she turned over to go to sleep.

You'll never be forgotten, Moe.  Not even by the little one who only spent a couple of years with you.


This parenting gig?  It's an emotional roller coaster.

All-time Biggest Backfire: Toddler Edition

The funny thing about having an almost-3-year-old is that they are easily manipulated.

And I wonder where she learns her techniques.  Geez...some role model I am.

Toddlers really get a kick out of people laughing at them.  So, if they do something and people laugh, they'll continue to do it.  It's my favorite.

Like the time Jayna was speaking gibberish and I asked her if she was speaking German.  She replied with, "YOU'RE a German, mommy!!!"  Like I insulted her and she was retorting.  It made me laugh so hard that I couldn't contain myself.  As soon as she saw Chris and I laugh, she called people "Germans" for a week. 

And I'm sure I got looks behind my back in public. 

But do you know how exhausting it would be to explain all the things my kid blurts out and/or does in public?? 

Like that time she schooled that lady at Sam's Club.  Nothing I could've said to that lady would've made anything better.  So I just had to let it go.

I do occasionally see people look our way with a confused grimace on their faces when Jayna says certain things.  I think it's kind of funny.  People are soooo judgemental. :)

And now we're to the actual story:

A couple of weeks ago, we went to Olive Garden to celebrate Chris' mom's birthday.  There were a group of 10 of us.  We had a really good time!  Toward the end, my father-in-law (who LOVES to talk politics regardless of the occasion or the audience) started talking about...politics.  All of us knew it wasn't the time or the place.  I leaned over and whispered in Jayna's ear, "Tell pappaw, 'Don't talk about politics.'"  She quietly said it, but just one time.  We all laughed.  I was sure it was just over at that point.

Two days later, I was putting Jayna's hair in a ponytail in preparation for school.  She would NOT hold still.  I used her hair to turn her head and told her to hold still.  After I was finished, she turned around, looked at me through tears and said, "Mommy...don't talk polly chicks."

I had NO idea what she was saying.  At first, I though she was telling me I needed to aplogize...to which i was saying, "Absolutely NOT!!  You wouldn't hold still."  She repeated herself several times, but I started to ignore her so she'd stop with her fit.

This happened over and over again over the course of the next 3 days.  I'd get stern with her or raise my voice and she'd say, "Don't talk polly chicks to me, mommy!!"

One night when we were at the dinner table, I said the word "politics" to Chris.  We weren't really talking about politics, I just said the word in conversation. That got her attention.  "She looked at me, very seriously, and said sternly, "Don't you talk polly chicks to me, MOMMY!!!  And not to daddy either!!" 

And then it occurred to me.

I was pretty sure wine was going to come out of my nose from attempting to hold in the laughter.  I didn't bother really explaining anything to her because I knew she wouldn't understand.  I thought the phrase would just die and she'd forget.

But...we laughed at her.  Twice at that point.  And the phrase will NOT die.

We were at Target yesterday getting some new clothes and shoes for Jayna.  Everytime we go to Target, she asks to look at the toys.  She rarely asks for us to buy her anything, but she just likes to go back there and look at all the toys.  We oblige because we have a good kid. 

She was riding in the cart when I showed her some sandals that I wanted her to try on.  She started to throw a fit.  Well, she needs new sandals, so fit or not, she was GOING to try on those sandals.

I started to take her shoe off and she inevitably started screaming like I was ripping her leg off.  I continued.  It's important for kids to know that even if they embarrass you in public that they STILL WON'T WIN. 

"But parenting isn't about winning, Danielle!!  You should know that by now.  Jayna's nearly 3 years old."

And the douche who just said that clearly has no children.  Parenting IS about winning.  It is about having a stronger will than a tiny person who doesn't care who she embarrasses while throwing a fit, what she breaks while throwing a fit, who she hurts while throwing a fit, or what the consequences of said fit will be.

It's all about winning.  Trust me.

So, her screaming and kicking and throwing stuff out of the cart continued...and I continued to wrestle her foot into the new sandal.  She kicked off the shoe she was wearing when I undid the strap and it landed somewhere about 30 feet away.  I left it.  I even kept a straight face and didn't yell or raise my voice.  I just kept at the sandal.

After I got it onto her foot, she continued to throw the fit.

"I don't like you mommy!!  Leave my shoes alone!  I don't want to try on that new shoe!!!  DON'T YOU TALK POLLY CHICKS TO ME MOMMY!!!!  THAT'S MEAN!!!!!!  NO POLLY CHICKS!!!" 

That's when I smirked and chuckled a little.  I couldn't hold it in anymore.  A pregnant woman was there registering with her baby daddy .  They looked over my way when they heard the "polly chicks" statement...with that confused grimace.  As if to say, "What are you doing to your child and why is she telling you to not talk politics?  You must be a horrible parent."

Aren't they in for a rude awakening.

I'm sure the people in electronics could hear her.  And I didn't care.  I said to her, "Now.  I tried the new shoe on.  And you are still okay.  There was absolutely NO need for that fit because you know where it got you??  We don't get to go look at the toys now."

I'm not sure I've ever seen the look on her face at that moment.  She got it.

She understood what the consequence was.  And she stopped her fit.  She was a complete angel for the remainder of the trip.  That earned her back her "flushy" (slushy) and she was happy again. 

You have to give a little.  That's another "Tip for Stellar Parenting" from the book I'm going to write someday. :)

She didn't ask to go look at the toys again.  She knew that was a lost cause.

I asked her later when we were at the check-out why she threw the fit.  She looked at me as serious as she could and said, "Cause you talked polly chicks to me mommy.  That not nice."

This one's NEVER gonna die.

Whit Wednesday: Talking John and Tummy Rubs

A few tidbits from the Jayniac:

• On the way home yesterday after I picked up Jayna, she dropped something on the car floor and I couldn't reach it to give it back to her.  She apparently had a rough emotional day yesterday and everything set her off.  She began crying...REAL CRYING...because I was driving and couldn't give her back her "newspaper."  (It was actually her newsletter from school.)  I stopped at the gas station to get gas and right before I got out of the car to pump gas, she yelled at me, "Give it to me NOW, mommy!!!"  I replied, "And now you'll wait until we get home."  The whole time I was pumping the gas, I could hear her in there throwing the fit of her life.  When I got back in the car, I said to her in a very calm and neutral voice, "Jayna, why are you crying?"  I was attempting to refocus her attention...and it worked.  She looked up at me and said, "I upset because....I got cry on my jacket."  A little later we had a talk about the fact that when you cry it's called tears.  She says, "I gonna tell daddy about tears when he gets home.  I think he doesn't know that."
• After we got home, she began to cry again.  When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I fell on the step at school yesterday and all my foots hurt."  I replied, "What??"  "She said, "This one hurt AND this one hurt.  All of 'em."
• She loves the app "Talking John" (the bacteria) on my iPhone.  She likes to feed them about 20 donuts and then sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" so they'll all sing back to her.  When we're done I tell her to say goodbye to them.  When she does, she says to me, "They say byebye back mommy!!"  all the while not realizing that they're repeating her.
• I have a friend whose 2-year-old refers to yesterday as "lasterday."  As in last night and yesterday put together.  Jayna says "tolater."  As in tomorrow and later put together.  She filled up her potty chart over the weekend and I put a new one up.  I said to her, "Jayna, if you keep filling potty charts and I have to keep buying you stuff, you're gonna have to get a job!"  She replied with, "No, mommy.  I just a little girl.  I gettin' big though.  I get a job tolater."
• She looooves a good tummy rub.  We'll be sitting on the couch watching television and she'll say, "Mommy, you rub my tummy please."  I will begin and then stop not even really knowing I stopped, so she'll grab my hand and rub her tummy with my hand.  And if I use the front of my hand and she wants me to use the back of my hand, she'll say, "No, like this mommy."  And show me how to do it.  Pretty picky for a kid getting her tummy rubbed.
• A couple nights ago at the dinner table she looked up from her dinner, looked at Chris and me and said, "Mommy and daddy, do you still love me?  Cause I still love you."  Holy. Cow.  I died from the adorable. :)

A Lesson in Jaynish: Amphibians

Jaynish:  the language that my child, 2-year-old Jayna, has invented.  Includes words, phrases and exclamatory jibberish.

Lesson 1:

Who knows what that is??  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?

Any layperson would call that a frog.  Just a...frog.

Not Jayna. 

We've read almost every book in our house over the past 3 days.  One of her favorites is her picture animal book.  She was "reading" it to me and when coming upon the picture of a frog, we had this very serious conversation:

Jayna:  Look, mommy!!!  A frobbit!!!!
Me:  A frobbit?  What in the world is a frobbit?
Jayna:  (points to the frog and raises her eyebrows as if to say "Duh mom.  It's right there.")
Me:  Um...I think that's just a frog.  I don't know what a frobbit is, Jaynie.
Jayna:  It's a frog and says 'ribbit.'  A frobbit, mommy.

English:  frog.
Jaynish:  frobbit.

I'll never forget that day.  Ever.